He's dissapeared again

My boyfriend has this habit of switching his phone off or dissapearing. This time he just basically dissapeared mid normal convo and his phone is still on I've tried calling and texting a billion times and no answer. I thought maybe he'd lost his phone or it had been stolen but even then he could email me to let me know and he hasnt.

I said if he didnt respond before a certain time today I'd take it as over. He didnt. So Im taking it as over. So im back at square one. heartbroken and miserable

I JUST dont get him, on the weekend things were so perfect, and he was talking about getting engaged me moving in. Then he dissapears.

Im worried as well because hes in a big city.

This hurts so much, I feel sick, half of me is worried, the rest of me is angry and heartbroken.

WHY does he do this when things are going well? This time we hadnt even argued hes just literally dissapeared.

That is really irresponsible of him to do so. How can he talk to you about marriage and moving in when he is constantly doing things to make you feel otherwise? I would not accept this behavior at all, especially knowing it is constantly happening and no change. Hang in there hun.

I'm sorry that you're going through this.

How long has it been since you last spoke?

The thing is I can't literally do anything. I said to him...just one word. Let me know your alive...nothing. And then i text saying if its over, tell me, I can handle it. Just dont leave me hanging

HE KNOWS this is the one thing I hate the most.

It's only been two days. But still its driving me crazy. On saturday we had a huge convo about the fact he kept dissapearing/switching his phone off and he just said he's rubbish with communicating sometimes and goes off in a huff. I told him it wasnt acceptable he promised never to switch his phone off...so he hasnt...but he isnt answering anything either and its the ONE way I can get ahold of him. doesnt help were in a LDR at the moment.

Why did you give him more than one or two chances to change this behavor?

Cos I am emotionally weaker than I thought. I guess after my abusive ex. A lot of the ways he treats me seem amazing...and I do truly love him...but...I dont know

The thing is I can't literally do anything. I said to him...just one word. Let me know your alive...nothing. And then i text saying if its over, tell me, I can handle it. Just dont leave me hanging

 

HE KNOWS this is the one thing I hate the most.

 

It's only been two days. But still its driving me crazy. On saturday we had a huge convo about the fact he kept dissapearing/switching his phone off and he just said he's rubbish with communicating sometimes and goes off in a huff. I told him it wasnt acceptable he promised never to switch his phone off...so he hasnt...but he isnt answering anything either and its the ONE way I can get ahold of him. doesnt help were in a LDR at the moment.

It seems like he enjoys seeing you suffer. If someone cares about you, they will make enough effort. He's obviously not making any.

Save yourself the misery. I think you already know that this is going to happen again.

I was in a relationship with someone like that, who would sometimes go days without calling me, & then would say "I was busy with stuff", as if it was no problem. His behavior never changed, along with his immaturity.

The thing is he promised never to do it again and begged me to give him another chance on Saturday...then he does it again, despite the fact we were getting on fine he dissapears.

I know hes probably just sulking about SOMETHING and I dont know what and when he gets in these moods its weird...it's like no matter how many times it happens he doesnt realise the consequences...like he doesnt think at all.

I feel like Im going to throw up, half from worry, half from heartbreak. Thing is i was meant to be seeing him tomorrow it makes no sense.

The thing is he promised never to do it again and begged me to give him another chance on Saturday...then he does it again, despite the fact we were getting on fine he dissapears.

 

I know hes probably just sulking about SOMETHING and I dont know what and when he gets in these moods its weird...it's like no matter how many times it happens he doesnt realise the consequences...like he doesnt think at all.

Sounds so familiar (ugh).

There are just some things that aren't as important to others as you would expect, like COMMUNICATION.

I'm sure he's read your texts & seen your calls, but he doesn't care enough to return them...even though it would save you AND him a lot of trouble.

I know it's hard to put your relationship on the line cuz of something that seems so small, but it's really not. If this is the person you want to spend your life with, he has to be willing to compromise and work with you. If you're not seeing any effort after these "promises" he's making, then that should show a lot about him.

Your boyfriend behaviour is incredibly selfish and immature. If this is a common theme in your relationship you've got to wonder if he is long term material don't you?

Chin up blue, you deserve better than this.

There's gotta be a pattern that has developed over time. For some reason I'm get the vibe that its often during the week that he ignores you. My first thought would be he MAY be seeing someone else. His behavior kinda sounds like its a possibility. Either way it disrespectful and really rude. You are obviously worried about him, yet he continues to put you through this. A real man would feel fortunate to have someone as yourself care about them.

Its happened three times in three weeks now. Everytime we have an argument. I try to explain why its terrible to do it to me. He says he gets it...then does it again.

Hes done it SO many times. How can you ignore your girlfriend saying 'I cant eat or sleep please just let me know your ok?' HOW?!

There's gotta be a pattern that has developed over time. For some reason I'm get the vibe that its often during the week that he ignores you. My first thought would be he MAY be seeing someone else. His behavior kinda sounds like its a possibility. Either way it disrespectful and really rude. You are obviously worried about him, yet he continues to put you through this. A real man would feel fortunate to have someone as yourself care about them.

The thing is the day before this happened he was saying how lucky he is to have me and how im his everything?!

Maybe he is seeing someone else. I cant see how else or why he would disappear.

Its so cruel

Blue, stop giving him so much power over you. He likes having control over you and you let him. I think you really need to think about this. I see no signs of him ever changing. Do you want to keep on going through this every single time he gets upset?

No of course I dont

But I can't do anything cos I can't get ahold of him. I hate being left just dangling.

Tell a lie...he ignored me a whole week a few weeks back

You know when he'll start replying & calling? When he feels like YOU'VE given up. That's when he'll make the effort.

For now, he's getting texts & calls showing that you're concerned & that he's on your mind. And for some sick reason, he's ok with not responding.

Once he sees that you've stopped, he'll realize that you've given up on him, & he'll probably call.

Either way, like Kaiser said, this isn't good. I have the feeling he MAY be seeing someone, too. If someone only cares about and loves one person, I can't see how they can be so careless towards them.

I'm really sorry I know how much it hurts to be betrayed by someone who claims to love you and claims to want to spend the rest of his life with you. I also know how hard it is to say it's over and really mean it's over. You love someone so much, it's hard to accept that it very well be unfixable.

Is it possible the phone got lost? He forgot his charger? Stolen?...but then I read that it's been 2 days. If he's in a big city, surely he can find an internet cafe and tell you. I think his behavior is BS and to be honest, I wouldn't expect him to change. It's not the first time it's happened, chances are it won't be the last.

Sigh, really sorry

Don't think that this is 'because' of a fight, guys will pick fights so they have a reason to drop contact for a bit while they do what they please. The way to tell is if he all the sudden grabbed on to something you said minor and made a big deal from it or brought up something really old. Either way its pretty common for guys to blame the woman, get "mad" and ignore them, when in reality its what they want. This may not be the case but it might make sense.

Its happened three times in three weeks now. Everytime we have an argument. I try to explain why its terrible to do it to me. He says he gets it...then does it again.

 

Hes done it SO many times. How can you ignore your girlfriend saying 'I cant eat or sleep please just let me know your ok?' HOW?!

Because he's clearly a self-centered jerk. Sorry to sound harsh but unless he's come out and admitted to you some sort of mental problem he has such as depression or bi-polar, then this behaviour just stinks!

No of course I dont

 

But I can't do anything cos I can't get ahold of him. I hate being left just dangling.

 

Tell a lie...he ignored me a whole week a few weeks back

 

You give him power over you everytime you worry about him. Just forget about him. He's being the usual jerk that he is. Nothing bad has happened.

Thing is things are brilliant, and then BAM

The one time I ignored him back it lasted a WEEK and in the end I said just come over and he did with flowers...but it goes to show I must love him more if Im the one making all the effort.

Its literally killing me it hurts so much. I can't take it.

How can he do this? I've forgiven so much and he always says how Im the one blah blah blah.

Thing is things are brilliant, and then BAM

 

The one time I ignored him back it lasted a WEEK and in the end I said just come over and he did with flowers...but it goes to show I must love him more if Im the one making all the effort.

 

Its literally killing me it hurts so much. I can't take it.

 

How can he do this? I've forgiven so much and he always says how Im the one blah blah blah.

Blue, it's SO easy to talk. You can pick up a stranger off the street & tell them how much you care about them. How can you keep holding on to WORDS?

It's the actions that truly matter. If he cares, he should show it. If he loves you, let him try a little harder. If he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, then let him learn how to keep in touch with you.

This is ridiculous. I know why you're feeling this way. It's hard to see the truth when you're stuck in such anxiety, but trust me...you'll eventually see it, too.

Im just rubbish at not contacting. I go into panic mode where I'll blow up his phone and will literally do anything just to know hes at least ALIVE.

I know what your saying, he is sweet in that when Im with him he does a lot for me...but I dont know what hes doing at all :S

My mum said...its so easy to go to an internet cafe. Hes got my number written down so he could call me.