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Want to hear your thoughts about this.


-Sanguine-

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hey,

 

i think there's a difference between ''leave me alone because i want to be left alone'' and ''leave me alone because i don't know how to communicate with you''.

 

i see two possibilities here:

 

1. he's never learned how to engage in open, meaningful communication...with anyone. his defences are up...and he just doesn't feel safe enough to really let anyone in. somewhere along the course of his life he was hurt, and his only goal is to prevent that from happening again.

 

2. he feels threatened by you in some way. perhaps he feels like he's being attacked.

 

in either case, the key is to invite him to share with you. he has to feel that he won't be judged in any way...that you'll accept his perspective...regardless of whether or not you agree with it. it is his.

 

are you emotional when you try to talk to him? is your tone at all accusatory?

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there's nothing really going on right now

I was just curious

but thanks, I know stuff like this does happen between us at times, so your advice will definitely help. I THINK I'm very welcoming and non-judging, but I don't know how he percieves it.

 

I was even just talking about people in general, though, like how they respond to someone who is being non-responsive.

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there's nothing really going on right now

I was just curious

but thanks, I know stuff like this does happen between us at times, so your advice will definitely help. I THINK I'm very welcoming and non-judging, but I don't know how he percieves it.

 

I was even just talking about people in general, though, like how they respond to someone who is being non-responsive.

 

fair enough.

 

never a bad time to start communicating better. even better if you're on good terms already.

 

 

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  • 5 weeks later...

Ive pushed to hard a couple of times, and the only effect it has on the other person is suffocating them with love.

 

Its important to let them know that your around when they need you , but then back off this is extremely effective with guys who tend to isolate themselves, and retreat to there man caves when facing issues or needing away time.

 

x

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