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Thread: Birthday Sadness

  1. #1
    renegade43
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    Birthday Sadness

    Every year, I get really sad around my birthday. This year, my partner has taken it upon himself to take my emotions personally, and he is offended that I am not bubbly and giddy, asking for presents, etc. I have always felt shallow when people ask me "What do you want for your birthday?" I feel like if they know me well enough to buy me a present, they should know me well enough to be able to get something they know I like. I feel stuck up saying "I want this, I want that."

    I told the same thing to my partner today, and he got so mad at me he didnt speak to me for hours. Then, when I tried to tell him that my birthdays always make me sad, he barked at me, saying "youre just being a baby!"

    I don't cry, but I feel like it right now. I am sad about something that bothers me, and he just drove it in even deeper....what should I do?

  2. #2
    southofapril
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    Have your birthdays been let-downs in the past? Or was there one particular birthday that stuck in your mind because it made you depressed? As for feeling stuck up when asking for gifts, I understand where you're coming from there -- I feel uncomfortable asking people for gifts as well.

    In my opinion, your partner needs to take a look at what he's doing. He has no right whatsoever to belittle you by calling you a baby for your feelings. You can't help what you feel. You need to stand up for yourself and tell him you're not going to tolerate that and if he can't respect the way you feel, then he needs to do something about it and/or take a look at himself. You don't deserve him making you feel bad for something like that.

    Try looking deeper for the reason your birthdays make you sad. It could be because of something that happened in your past, or it could be because on and around your birthday you become the center of attention, and that makes you uncomfortable. An important thing to remember is to not beat yourself up for this. Again, you can't help the way you feel. This could take some searching, but I think if you take your time with it, you can figure it out. I hope this helped you.

  3. #3
    renegade43
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    Yeah, birthdays usually are let downs for me. People get me so hyped up saying "isnt your birthday coming up soon? Then, the day of, I'm left with nothing to do, and no one who really care. My partner wants to make it all about himself, because he cares, but if he gets this upset with me about it, then I'd rather he just forget it like everyone else.

  4. #4
    southofapril
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    Ugh, that feeling sucks.

    I know you've tried to tell your partner all this, but how about trying again a different way? Slowly, so he can comprehend

    Say to him ''Listen, I have something I need to talk about and get off my chest, but I haven't been able to because you always blow up at me. Now I'm going to talk and I need you to listen, and ONLY listen to what I have to say.'' See if this works, and tell him how you feel, everything you just told me. Use duct tape if necessary. (just kidding, of course... )

    Another thing I'd suggest is, on the big day, forget everyone else instead of giving them the chance to forget you. Find something you love to do, then go do it. Give the day to yourself as your own birthday gift. Do something great for yourself because you deserve it. Don't let anyone else in on it; that way, they can't let you down, change it or ruin it.

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