Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Birthday Sadness

  1. #1
    renegade43
    Member renegade43's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Citrus Heights, CA
    Posts
    71
    Gender
    Male

    Birthday Sadness

    Every year, I get really sad around my birthday. This year, my partner has taken it upon himself to take my emotions personally, and he is offended that I am not bubbly and giddy, asking for presents, etc. I have always felt shallow when people ask me "What do you want for your birthday?" I feel like if they know me well enough to buy me a present, they should know me well enough to be able to get something they know I like. I feel stuck up saying "I want this, I want that."

    I told the same thing to my partner today, and he got so mad at me he didnt speak to me for hours. Then, when I tried to tell him that my birthdays always make me sad, he barked at me, saying "youre just being a baby!"

    I don't cry, but I feel like it right now. I am sad about something that bothers me, and he just drove it in even deeper....what should I do?

  2. #2
    southofapril
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Tennessee/Maine
    Posts
    34
    Gender
    Female
    Have your birthdays been let-downs in the past? Or was there one particular birthday that stuck in your mind because it made you depressed? As for feeling stuck up when asking for gifts, I understand where you're coming from there -- I feel uncomfortable asking people for gifts as well.

    In my opinion, your partner needs to take a look at what he's doing. He has no right whatsoever to belittle you by calling you a baby for your feelings. You can't help what you feel. You need to stand up for yourself and tell him you're not going to tolerate that and if he can't respect the way you feel, then he needs to do something about it and/or take a look at himself. You don't deserve him making you feel bad for something like that.

    Try looking deeper for the reason your birthdays make you sad. It could be because of something that happened in your past, or it could be because on and around your birthday you become the center of attention, and that makes you uncomfortable. An important thing to remember is to not beat yourself up for this. Again, you can't help the way you feel. This could take some searching, but I think if you take your time with it, you can figure it out. I hope this helped you.

  3. #3
    renegade43
    Member renegade43's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Citrus Heights, CA
    Posts
    71
    Gender
    Male
    Yeah, birthdays usually are let downs for me. People get me so hyped up saying "isnt your birthday coming up soon? Then, the day of, I'm left with nothing to do, and no one who really care. My partner wants to make it all about himself, because he cares, but if he gets this upset with me about it, then I'd rather he just forget it like everyone else.

  4. #4
    southofapril
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Tennessee/Maine
    Posts
    34
    Gender
    Female
    Ugh, that feeling sucks.

    I know you've tried to tell your partner all this, but how about trying again a different way? Slowly, so he can comprehend :P

    Say to him ''Listen, I have something I need to talk about and get off my chest, but I haven't been able to because you always blow up at me. Now I'm going to talk and I need you to listen, and ONLY listen to what I have to say.'' See if this works, and tell him how you feel, everything you just told me. Use duct tape if necessary. (just kidding, of course... )

    Another thing I'd suggest is, on the big day, forget everyone else instead of giving them the chance to forget you. Find something you love to do, then go do it. Give the day to yourself as your own birthday gift. Do something great for yourself because you deserve it. Don't let anyone else in on it; that way, they can't let you down, change it or ruin it.

Top Threads
My Friendships With the People Inside My Head
I've been searching for something like this for a while now and nothing has come up, which is frustrating but I completely get it because it's not
Co dependant
I'm not an independent person. Being on my own freaks me out. I'm attached to either my mom or a man really. I'm in therapy had to quit intense
The need for constant reaffirmation by the opposite sex
This is sort of a spin-off from an ongoing thread about a woman that I'm absolutely smitten with, but it's applicable to the other rare ones I've
Self esteem and comparing self to others
I'm really struggling lately with my self esteem, and I think it stems from comparing myself to others. I'm the oldest of 3 siblings. In the past
He says it feels like Im not here anymore...
My bf and I recently went through a hardship we are trying to get through. He was beginning to develop feelings for a coworker recognized it, told
Feelings of desperation, loneliness, etc. Hooray!
When I was younger, I was super confident, had more friends than I could count, and always had someone I could talk to if I needed. That being said
I don't know how to feel.
Hello all. I been dating this girl for about 8 month. And we hit it off right away. About two days ago her EX boyfriend commented suicide and she is

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancÚ of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
missing atm
I think what I miss at the moment is having a friend to talk to like we used to. She became the only person I really talked to for the better part
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Girlfriend always mad at me
Me and my girlfriend have been togetehr for almost a year. I love her more than anything and i know shes not cheating on me or anything like that
I [F/26] found underwear in my boyfriend's [M/30] pocket.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to look for some money, so I looked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I
Ex gf text me out of the blue
I guess I just want some feedback and honest replies as my head is completely gone again. Me and my ex gf have been in no contact for a few months
Ask For Advice

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •