Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Birthday Sadness

  1. #1
    renegade43
    Member renegade43's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Citrus Heights, CA
    Posts
    71
    Gender
    Male

    Birthday Sadness

    Every year, I get really sad around my birthday. This year, my partner has taken it upon himself to take my emotions personally, and he is offended that I am not bubbly and giddy, asking for presents, etc. I have always felt shallow when people ask me "What do you want for your birthday?" I feel like if they know me well enough to buy me a present, they should know me well enough to be able to get something they know I like. I feel stuck up saying "I want this, I want that."

    I told the same thing to my partner today, and he got so mad at me he didnt speak to me for hours. Then, when I tried to tell him that my birthdays always make me sad, he barked at me, saying "youre just being a baby!"

    I don't cry, but I feel like it right now. I am sad about something that bothers me, and he just drove it in even deeper....what should I do?

  2. #2
    southofapril
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Tennessee/Maine
    Posts
    34
    Gender
    Female
    Have your birthdays been let-downs in the past? Or was there one particular birthday that stuck in your mind because it made you depressed? As for feeling stuck up when asking for gifts, I understand where you're coming from there -- I feel uncomfortable asking people for gifts as well.

    In my opinion, your partner needs to take a look at what he's doing. He has no right whatsoever to belittle you by calling you a baby for your feelings. You can't help what you feel. You need to stand up for yourself and tell him you're not going to tolerate that and if he can't respect the way you feel, then he needs to do something about it and/or take a look at himself. You don't deserve him making you feel bad for something like that.

    Try looking deeper for the reason your birthdays make you sad. It could be because of something that happened in your past, or it could be because on and around your birthday you become the center of attention, and that makes you uncomfortable. An important thing to remember is to not beat yourself up for this. Again, you can't help the way you feel. This could take some searching, but I think if you take your time with it, you can figure it out. I hope this helped you.

  3. #3
    renegade43
    Member renegade43's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Citrus Heights, CA
    Posts
    71
    Gender
    Male
    Yeah, birthdays usually are let downs for me. People get me so hyped up saying "isnt your birthday coming up soon? Then, the day of, I'm left with nothing to do, and no one who really care. My partner wants to make it all about himself, because he cares, but if he gets this upset with me about it, then I'd rather he just forget it like everyone else.

  4. #4
    southofapril
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Tennessee/Maine
    Posts
    34
    Gender
    Female
    Ugh, that feeling sucks.

    I know you've tried to tell your partner all this, but how about trying again a different way? Slowly, so he can comprehend :P

    Say to him ''Listen, I have something I need to talk about and get off my chest, but I haven't been able to because you always blow up at me. Now I'm going to talk and I need you to listen, and ONLY listen to what I have to say.'' See if this works, and tell him how you feel, everything you just told me. Use duct tape if necessary. (just kidding, of course... )

    Another thing I'd suggest is, on the big day, forget everyone else instead of giving them the chance to forget you. Find something you love to do, then go do it. Give the day to yourself as your own birthday gift. Do something great for yourself because you deserve it. Don't let anyone else in on it; that way, they can't let you down, change it or ruin it.

Top Threads
Obsessions over celebrities
I was wondering if anyone else gets obsessive about certain celebrities. Not just liking them, but wanting to know everything about them and their
Has anyone ever had conflict between their head and gut feeling/spirituality??
Has anyone ever had conflict between what their gut feeling/spirituality is telling them and what their brain is telling them? OK, so my ex and I
Teacher/Doctor May be hitting on me???
A lot of intense spiritual coincidences have happened between us but I've realized that, over time, some of his comments have been slightly
Physical abuse versus emotional abuse
My partner lied and cheated on me over and over again during our 3 years relationship. There were many times he disappear for weeks after an
Help: 'Love is a battlefield'
About two years ago a Co-worker and I met and had lunch together. I was immediately attracted. However, she is in a lesbian relationship. At that
Switch feeling off for a while?
I have been having a cocktail of feeling. mostly sad emotions for a time longer than I can take after my terrible breakup. I have had enough dealing
Need Advice From a Different Perspective
Its a long story but I'll try to sum it up, I'm 25 year old guy in a relationship which i don't know where its going or whats the right thing to do

Featured Threads
Controlling or very opinionated?
Hi, my name is Michael. I came here for some advice on my girlfriend and I's relationship. I am 17 and she is 16 and we've been dating for just shy
Women who prefer/only date younger men
I am dating a woman who is 9 years older than me. However, going after younger guys doesn't appear to be her pattern. In fact, the age difference
Still feels like the first day...
Long long story short.. I'll Coles notes it. I meet the love of my life at a gig I was playing, we ended up not spending a single night apart for
My partner and I have different goals, values, and thinking, should we continue?
My partner and I met a couple years ago when she moved to the city I lived in. We had shared a group of friends but never really knew each other
I'm hurt and not sure what to do ...
So ,this is my first time posting here ,but My mother always said it helps to write things down .So here it goes ! ^^ For a couple of weeks now
Who Am I and What do I Want?
Hi everyone, and thanks for reading this. At the moment I feel like I am having some sort of identity crisis, whilst not knowing what I want for
Is it wrong that I still talk to my ex boyfriend?
My ex boyfriend dumped me last week because he was pressuring me to have sex and I wasn't ready to have sex and he keeps calling and texting me every
Ask For Advice

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •