Different ways of communicating... can it work?

My boyfriend and I definitely have different ways of communicating. I am very sensitive, emotional, and I like to talk about how I'm feeling. It's how I operate. If he says something that bothers me, I will think about it and then immediately tell him reasonably how I feel so that it gets resolved as soon as possible. I'd consider myself a good communicator. I try to make sure he knows how I feel so he doesn't have to guess and because I believe communication is important.

He, on the other hand, is very different than I am. He does not like to talk about his feelings. Don't get me wrong. if I have an issue that doesn't involve him, like something going on with a friend, he is ready to listen and give me advice - which I love about him. He doesn't like talking about how he feels or what's going on in his mind. The only time I ever really hear what he's thinking is when he's drunk. We got into a fight two nights ago when he was drunk because he told me many things that I didn't expect to hear about how he felt about our relationship. In the morning, he just said he was in a bad mood and that there was no truth behind his words. But in my mind, why would he say something if he didn't somewhat mean it? He was drunk, so it may have been exaggerated, but am I wrong in thinking that there must have been some truth behind his words?

He said that he didn't mean any of it. Part of me thinks, he just didn't want to address things especially since now he was sober. I tried to tell him how I felt - he listened, but never really said much. I told him quite a few times that I was scared about how things were going and he just said "don't be".

I just feel like I can't tell him how I feel because he doesn't respond. And then I'm worried that one day I'll just explode with all these feelings because I can't hold them in forever. I'm worried we'll just be drinking again and then we'll fight because things will actually come up.

It's okay that we deal with things differently. I can understand that things like that happen and I can't force him to do things the way I do and he can't force me to keep quiet. He's really just a fun loving person and likes to keep things light and easy. I do love that about him because it balances me out since I tend to stress more. Communicating is important to me though... we are good at communicating in the bedroom and with just sharing every day life stuff.

All I'm wondering is, do you think two people with different ways of communicating can last? Is there some sort of compromise that can be made? Is there anything positive to come of this or am I going to feel like this forever?

About the whole drunk thing.. my boyfriend will tell me things when he is drunk and will admit to it the next morning and is fine to talk about it. As with your boyfriend.. here is my outlook on it..Have you heard the quote "A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts"? I truly believe in this quote, as does my boyfriend. He will even say, well i dont have the guts to tell you that sober, so i have to tell you drunk! IE.. i want to marry you soon... yada yada He just says its easier to talk about serious, lovey dovey stuff when he is drunk for some reason. Not that he cant talk about it sober, it just flows easier when he is drunk. lol

So i think that the fights and things that are said by your boyfriend when he is drunk, should be taken somewhat to an extent seriously, because there are some meanings behind them. He just might have a hard time expressing how he is feeling and alchol is a good stress reliever and helps get the "flow" going..

People generally deal with people as they wish to be dealt with. Which is a real conundrum for the terse guy with a chatty or outspoken gf.

What I find rather interesting, is how difficult we find it to step outside of ourselves, pay attention to how the other person communicates, acts etc. and to give them what THEY want.

I'm not trying to imply you're being selfish, perhaps you both are. But my point is this, since we tend to NOT see outside of our own needs, wants etc., we need to clearly define them to others.

If you want something from someone, tell them. If they are not able to give you what you want or need, you'll need to find a way to get it. Whatever that may mean...