I look older than I am and it hurts.

Hi, I am new to the forum and I hope to help and be helped. I just turned 43 and I have always looked older than I am. Today I went to get my haircut and the stylist asked me if I was over 55! I told her "I'm not that old!" and she said " I'm just trying to get you a discount." Wow, I felt like cursing her out! She was an older lady probably in her early sixties. My family does not age well and working nights and having depression doesn't help. My question is "How can I better deal with this?" I know I don't look 55, but I do look older than my age. I feel like I have been robbed of my true age because I am afraid to tell people how old I am because of their reaction. I know there are worse things people are going through, but this hurts me and I want to deal with it in a better way. Thanks, glad to have a place to vent and share.

The real problem is how you FEEL not how you look. There are many very old people who are happy and love life, regardless of how they look.

So this is actually a problem you can fix, if you are willing to work in the issues like depression, and perhaps trying to remedy anything in your life that is making you feel bad or stressing your body (eating habits, drinking habits, smoking, exercise, etc.).

Have you considered going to a counselor to address the depression and feelings? You can get treatment for the depression and learn how to shift your outlook on life to FEELING good rather than worrying about things you can't change like your look, and if you feel good and are happy, you won't care about your looks. Aging is something everyone must accept, and genetics do determine a lot of that, but there is nothing stopping you from being happier and more fulfilled every year of your life, regardless of that.

i completely and utterly agree with lavender love, just accept yourself and dont set your sights to high. that comment the stylist made was no doubt said in your interests, i would have put it a different way though.tactless but typical.

i know of a couple of people that had surgery to look younger and have regretted it wholly. your depression will not help your outlook, bear in mind that is what is making you feel the way you do, go to your gp with a strategy!

its not what you look like its who you are, your heart you you you.

i would and im sure a few many would rather chat socialise with people who have personality than stunning looks, its not what its about its who the individual is, you sound very humbling and smart, be yourself and stick two fingers up to your depression and move forward from the bad thoughts you have.

you have made the first step to sorting your problem by coming on here!! smart move!

hope this helps in anyway! and welcome aboard enotalone!

OP, can I ask in general, how healthy is your overall lifestyle?

yikes! sorry she said that! i agree with lavender dove, conquering the depression will help. eat at LEAST 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day. stop smoking if you do. lose some weight if you need to. you might want to update your waredrobe a bit. not to try to look like a 21 year old, but maybe pick up some sharp new clothing that's age appropriate too.

tanning - don't do it. and don't go and start putting in earrings in your ears, that won't help.

I worked grave yard shift for years. Thankfully done with that now.

But since not anymore, I've noticed a huge difference. It's really hard on the body. And it really wasn't helping me manage depression.

I understand sometimes you gotta do what you don't want to do, in order to put food on the table and live.

But some changes in your lifestyle like mentioned above, trust me, would help a lot.

Once the stress and depression is eased, you will feel and look better. The feeling better counts so much; because it makes a lot easier to feel good about what you are seeing the mirror, even if it's a bad day.

tc. Feel better soon!

yikes! sorry she said that! i agree with lavender dove, conquering the depression will help. eat at LEAST 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day. stop smoking if you do. lose some weight if you need to. you might want to update your waredrobe a bit. not to try to look like a 21 year old, but maybe pick up some sharp new clothing that's age appropriate too.

 

tanning - don't do it. and don't go and start putting in earrings in your ears, that won't help.

I feel awful for all those young girls broiling themselves in tanning beds. When they're my age, I could skin them for cute new boots.

I wear a dual band sunblock every day now. I want to look as good as possible for as long as possible. I don't want to turn back the clock, but to age well and with dignity =)

However, ask me if that holds @ 40, LOL.

To the OP- I agree with the others about getting the depression under control - but, there are things men can do to improve their appearance.

If your hair is grey, you can dye it. I've read that the hair dye for men is one of the top selling products on amazon. If you have a receding hairline, consider buzzing your hair almost bald. This helps de-emphasize the receding hairline.

If your skin on your face is bad, you can go to a dermatologist and get laser treatments and/or creams to help smooth your skin out and reduce fine lines and wrinkles. You can go for a consultation to a plastic surgeon and they will be able to tell you if any of the aging you notice can be altered.

You can use white strips to whiten your teeth - don't go neon white, but whiter teeth does take years off your age.

You should work out and make sure that you keep building muscle instead of getting saggy. Make sure you have good posture- don't stoop, and do yoga or pilates to keep yourself flexible. Studies have shown that older people walk "stiffer" than younger people and this is one thing that tips us off to a person's age- how their body moves.

Buy stylish clothing that suits your age but is flattering to your skin tone and body type.

And after all that - try to maintain a positive attitude. That is ultimately what makes people most attractive!

Being young at heart makes all the difference. Optimism, hope, and enthusiasm.

I feel the same way too now that my hair is starting to bald out a bit and I have some grey hair. If my hair is cut really short, or I put fake hair sprinkles on the bald spot and take off my glasses, I can look yonger.

Now, it depends what context I'm in. If I'm in my profession, then looking mature helps with credibility, you don't want to look too yonge.

However, what would bother me if I look old is because I feel that I have missed out in life and just feel like I have been in a quasi-prison all this time, for example, not being established anywhere and not having a woman in my life, would assign a negative meaning or value with looking older with myself. So, looking older in and of itself is neutral, until you assign a negative value or meaning to it. Now, if I looked older and had a family and was established, then in that context, I really would not care.

So, the real question to the OP is, why would looking old bother you?

Hi, thanks for all the help. What does OP mean?

Hi, thanks for all the help. What does OP mean?

Other poster -- usually the poster who started the thread. Also, ORIGINATING POSTER.

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Are you somehow growth deficient? If that'd be the case, I recommend you to consider HGH. They can be an excellent anti-aging solution when used properly. You can check over here [email=https://goodhgh.com/anti-aging/]https://goodhgh.com/anti-aging/[/email] to know how HGH can make you look and feel younger.

This thread is 11 years old .

Are you somehow growth deficient? If that'd be the case, I recommend you to consider HGH. They can be an excellent anti-aging solution when used properly. You can check over here [email=https://goodhgh.com/anti-aging/]https://goodhgh.com/anti-aging/[/email] to know how HGH can make you look and feel younger.

Spam not allowed. Old thread. Strikeout.