Post here instead of contacting your ex!

I'm feeling depressed and not like myself... I've been overwhelmed with the long work days, non consistent schedule and lack of sleep that today I was sick and just had to sleep all day. I truly miss my consistent schedule of waking up early working out and eating right. I'm feeling depressed doing something I'm not proud of work wise and not being able to follow my dream. I'm getting frustrated with all of the run around these interviews are giving me , all these bills I have to pay and something just doesn't feel right emotionally... I know my bf is great, probably the kindest guy I've ever dated but knowing I will have to move to NYC eventually for it to work stresses me out.. Also I'm coming off a time of only hooking up with really attractive people and that kind of spark isn't there for me I feel tired from the constant commute to NYC and a bit confused about everything. I can't tell if I'm depressed Bc my life isn't going how I want it to , because I'm stuck at home, because of the pill and me just having my

Period or if it's my relationship ... Laurence still messages me and that makes me upset.. That draws me more to my bf Bc it reminds me that my choices based on attraction and emotion are usually wrong , just like Mike and Ed to an extent although less Bc things never went there but it affects me and makes me feel somehow less worthy or something... I definitely think I have some issues I need to sort through but I don't know how or why..

Stop sleeping with people. It's dumb. The hell happened to morals and self respect. Look back on this crap and realise you're a hoe that got brain washed by the 'Have sex with as many people as you can before you die' movement. lmao. People ae absolutely ridiculous.

Not sure why you texted me about my trip...must have been all the news of what's going on overseas. Just makes me miss you more 😔

We haven't seen or spoken for about 3 months. So weird to still have feelings for someone who totally erased me.

It does get better.

How could you do it? How could you say to me "love, love and more love", tell me how much you adore me, tell me how you can't stop thinking about me, tell me how totally in love we are - and then 2 days later break up with me, and when I reached out a few days later, tell me you don't want us, you're done and I should never contact you again? What the hell happened?!

I just don't know what was real anymore. Were you really that in love with me, and if so, how can you just drop me so easily? You couldn't stop thinking about me you told me, several times, so why aren't you thinking about me, about us, anymore? You have hurt me so badly here.

Like what is going on you talk with me every night almost now you won't even respond, I like to think I am there for you but you just use me when you want it seems, you know I care for you but you couldn't be bothered with me now Grrr

It's been two weeks and a day since we broke up. I don't think I'll ever get over you. I want you to contact me so bad. I'm still so deeply in love with you. Please don't let this end. I love you. I'm your queen remember?

I was the best person you could possibly have in your life and you know that.

I want our forever. Where did that go? Why did that go? I can't be without you.

I hate that I still love you. Not in love anymore, I just miss us. But I don't miss the monster that lives inside of you.

Will this ever be over?!?!?

How could you, really, how could you?

How could I..?

...

Another night of letting out frustration. I've noticed that when I get in a stressed and frustated mood, I imagine you. I’m reminded of you. Because that’s what you did to me for a lot of out friendship/relationship. You’re too flirty.. you're an outgoing weekend girl.

You went from one, to talking about guys from work, to having some old high schooler slap your ass, to kissing and making dates with a dude from another branch.. to sleeping with guys on st patricks day.. to me.. after taking all of your stories... listening to this and feelign like crap hearing it... I STILL thought why not.. and then him. All within a year. Jump, jump, jump until you land on your feet. You’re gonna run out of cartlidge,

I don’t like it. I don’t like you.

I understand more about cutting people out of your life now. I took too long with the first girl, cut out as much as I thought I could with you. At the end of the day, if you truly want to heal and move on from this person, you just have to delete all aspects of them from your life. It’s the truth and the truth is commonly brutal.

you can’t be friends. you can’t. It’s ridiculous to think that you can just downgrade back to friends and think everything is fine. It hurts. It hurts more than you know. It hurts that you don’t understand... it hurts that you weren’t the one.

All I do is imagine you. Start to finish of every day. I’ve been here before though and I know it get’s better.. I just have to keep going. You get your boyfriend, you get your sex, you get your experiences. I do not. So please.. until I find what I’m meant to.. LEAVE. ME. ALONE.

Also.. your message was so BREAD CRUMBY. If you really meant anything you’d make more of an effort (in my mind). you’d say something else other than ‘am I watching sports’... that’s just weak and confirms the level of your interest. You don’t have interest in me.. You don't have the interest in me that I do for you.

This is the hardest part. The reward will be worth it. Life long knowledge.

This is a long road...

Why am I such a masochist? Why do I feel like I'm obsessed with you? Why can't you just leave my head and heart, let me be and just become history..? Why do I love you so much? Why can't I get some closure and just move on with my life?? I wish there was some answer to sooth my heart, to easy the pain... I can't let go of what we wre supposed to be, what we could be. Why did you have to cut me off of your life like that? Why didn't you chose the real thing? Was there any truth on anything you ever said? Did you really ever loved me or was just because you didn't care and was comfortable like that? Why do I keep torturing myself?!??!??

Did you ever care at all....?

Why am I such a masochist? Why do I feel like I'm obsessed with you? Why can't you just leave my head and heart, let me be and just become history..? Why do I love you so much? Why can't I get some closure and just move on with my life?? I wish there was some answer to sooth my heart, to easy the pain... I can't let go of what we wre supposed to be, what we could be. Why did you have to cut me off of your life like that? Why didn't you chose the real thing? Was there any truth on anything you ever said? Did you really ever loved me or was just because you didn't care and was comfortable like that? Why do I keep torturing myself?!??!??

Did you ever care at all....?

I could have written exactly that; you've pretty much captured how I feel there. The bit about truth is especially poignant; when someone offers such strong expressions of love and then two days and one relatively minor argument later cuts you off forever it really makes you question everything they ever said to you. Was any of it real? When she expressed how much she loved me, was she really feeling that in the same way I was? I guess I'll never know now. Need to move on, but how?

Hello you,

I'm so sad everyday since you took that decision to end things.

I understand why you had to do it, I know that it was a hard call to make.

Your life has been pretty hard lately, your father's death left you heartbroken.

The heavy weight of a relationship was giving you anxiety attacks and making you ill.

The thought that I was in some way a burden to you makes me feel awful.

I know you said "let's be friends" and I wanted to be there for you.

But I love you so much, it hurts to be around you right now. Hope you understand.

Maybe in the future soon we can be friends and my mind will be clear.

And you need space right now, a chance to heal without worrying about me.

My dear, my lovely friend...I wish you nothing but happiness.

You deserve it. Kindest man I ever met.

With love

your vegan lady friend who loves cats xx

Omfg..I can't take this anymore. I have had three dreams in a row about you and her and marriage scenarios and stress and you being a raging ahole and liar in each and me trying to get all the facts out to others despite your best efforts to do otherwise. I think these dreams mirror how I feel you are changing the history of things on your side in your part of the world as things get filtered back to me. I can't take anymore, even on days where I have good happy days start to finish I go to sleep and here comes you and these damn dreams...I know it's because I never got my closure and I should have taken the chance months ago and I think this would not be happening now.

It's been 17 days since I last saw you and day 8 since I told you I couldn't have any further contact. Funny the tricks your mind plays on you. What if I. .? Maybe I ought to. . .?No, no and no.

Makes me more empathic to those here in pain who I so easily throw out NC advice to.

You know what's harder than accepting the fact that you just didn't love me the way you said you did, the way I thought you did, and the same way I loved you? It's accepting the fact that our friendship was worthless to you. I have been accepting it and dealing with it, but I just want you to know that I think it's wrong to blame me for ruining our chances of being friends. I made it clear to you that being friends wasn't going to be easy for me, but I still wanted it to happen, and you said you did too. I didn't see the effort on your part and your mom even agreed. I also made it clear that I didn't know how I'd handle it if you started dating someone else, and instead of being understanding and giving me the time to heal, so we could build that friendship, you chose to say goodbye. That made it clear that dating someone else was more of a priority than being friends was. That also killed it. You showed me very little to no understanding of why I was upset and it caused me to lash out. I wanted you to feel every bit of pain I was feeling. I know it's not right, but I'm only human, and it's a perfectly normal reaction when someone hurts you. You acted like I had no reason to be upset, even to the point where I was called a psycho for being upset. Sorry, but you don't just push stop on loving someone. I felt so alone and the only person I felt I could turn to wouldn't even speak to me. And you can't deny that all this was happening way before any drama, so that's why I think it's wrong to blame me. I don't place any blame on you personally for ruining our chances of being friends, but I do blame your actions and the way you dealt with things, if that makes sense. You handled things in a way you were comfortable with, and I can't fault you for that, but I'm allowed to disagree. That's all it is at this point. I disagreed with how you handled things, so it was up to you to understand why and do something about it, not me. For me, the way you handled things came off as selfish. It seemed like all you were concerned about was yourself and you expected and wanted me to respect your wishes, while my wishes were unanswered and completely ignored. I was always hoping you'd understand at some point but I guess not...and that's what still hurts even after 5 1/2 months...and it's a shame really...

Hi honey,

Missing you a lot today, Sunday was our meet up evening every week.

We chill, maybe go for a pint, watch some films.

So sad I can't do this with you. Wonder if you miss it too?

I even miss your smell. So stupid. A hug from you now would be like heaven.

Your silly smile. It's in my head all the time.

I love you. xx

Today should have been our 4 year anniversary. July 24, 2012- the day that changed me for life.

I can't believe how much has happened in the last 4 years and how much you've changed. I don't even recognize the person you are today. I am truly disgusted by you and the things you have done. I hope that one day you look back and realize you made the biggest mistake of your life by letting me go- although I think you already know that deep down.

Anyway, I am moving on with my life. You've already taken away 4 years I can never get back. I don't need you anymore and I certainly do not want you either. I hope that by the time our "5 year anniversary" comes around, I don't even think about you. It's YOUR loss babe

Oh god. You went to the graduation of your master's degree with her... But you refused to go to our college graduation two years ago. Now you wear expensive clothes, listen to dubstep (omfg you used to listen to punk rock and indie... happened), go to parties, and say words like "so cool" (in English, when we speak in Spanish...). You don't speak English. All the English you know you learnt it from me. You're pretending to be someone you are not. What's wrong with you. I actually feel like I don't know you at all. I miss the old you, the new you sucks.

Oh god. You went to the graduation of your master's degree with her... But you refused to go to our college graduation two years ago. Now you wear expensive clothes, listen to dubstep (omfg you used to listen to punk rock and indie... happened), go to parties, and say words like "so cool" (in English, when we speak in Spanish...). You don't speak English. All the English you know you learnt it from me. You're pretending to be someone you are not. What's wrong with you. I actually feel like I don't know you at all. I miss the old you, the new you sucks.

It's so weird when this happens.

If it helps, I married one who adopted my skin as a costume and I couldn't tell. Total FAIL. Thank your lucky stars.

It's so weird when this happens.

 

If it helps, I married one who adopted my skin as a costume and I couldn't tell. Total FAIL. Thank your lucky stars.

It's so so weird. I don't know if he was pretending for five years or he's pretending now. He was humble and kind, now he's changed a lot. He's a total stranger. He does things he never did, he has a lot of money but he never bragged about it. Now he does. All the time with his new gf. It's so so so weird. We used to watch movies while eating pop corn all alone, in our "nest" (we piled a lot of pillows and blankets and we called it our "nest"), and listen to music on our room. We were happy just like that. Now he buys expensive sh*t he doesn't need, and brags a lot about everything. I don't really know how a person can change so much in six months. It's ridiculous. He's so shallow. It really brings me down, that the person I met is not in this Earth anymore...

It's so so weird. I don't know if he was pretending for five years or he's pretending now. He was humble and kind, now he's changed a lot. He's a total stranger. He does things he never did, he has a lot of money but he never bragged about it. Now he does. All the time with his new gf. It's so so so weird. We used to watch movies while eating pop corn all alone, in our "nest" (we piled a lot of pillows and blankets and we called it our "nest"), and listen to music on our room. We were happy just like that. Now he buys expensive sh*t he doesn't need, and brags a lot about everything. I don't really know how a person can change so much in six months. It's ridiculous. He's so shallow. It really brings me down, that the person I met is not in this Earth anymore...

He sounds insecure. Maybe without you he is unsure of his worth.

In any event, he's not your problem to solve. Time will teach him character, or it won't.

I have an ex who dumped me for his new thing, just when his life started to get better. I was mad, I was there for the worst and then she got the good stuff. No, no she didnt. He is the same scoundrel as ever, cheats on her, plans to cheat always. And together they have less personality than they did apart.

What it seems to us is a fiction. The truth outs itself in time. She will see that he is insecure, or they will be materialistic together. Either way, you win, since those are not your values.

Eventually, this will make sense. it may take a while. Try to let it be, and think that whoever he is, he was that person to the best of his ability, in that moment. I don't think he was pretending. I think he lacks a strong sense of self. And that means, still, you dodged a bullet.

It's so so weird. I don't know if he was pretending for five years or he's pretending now. He was humble and kind, now he's changed a lot. He's a total stranger. He does things he never did, he has a lot of money but he never bragged about it. Now he does. All the time with his new gf. It's so so so weird. We used to watch movies while eating pop corn all alone, in our "nest" (we piled a lot of pillows and blankets and we called it our "nest"), and listen to music on our room. We were happy just like that. Now he buys expensive sh*t he doesn't need, and brags a lot about everything. I don't really know how a person can change so much in six months. It's ridiculous. He's so shallow. It really brings me down, that the person I met is not in this Earth anymore...

People often pretend in the first six months with someone new, but they can't pretend for five years. My guess is that you saw the real version, he's currently putting on a front to try and fit in with his new gf, and at some point he's going to get fed up with doing that, the real him will re-emerge, and she'll dump his ass and move on to her next victim. Just a prediction.