Post here instead of contacting your ex!

I feel the distance between us getting bigger by the day. I can't stop it, only you can.

I hope soon your love will be bigger than my words, I hope you feel like I do.

I'm dreading next week because I'm going to start seeing you everyday again. I have so many things I want to say to you, but I don't want to you talk to you. The thought of seeing you makes me break down, I am so terrified of what will happen when you're actually in front of me. I don't know how we got here and I wish I could just go back 3 months and say yes when you invited me out that night. Instead I let you have time with your girlfriends and of course you met someone whom you have since left me for. I already see you all day in my head, I don't want to see you in the flesh. I haven't talked to you in 3 weeks. I've had your number up to call at least 20 times, I've had at least 100 text messages typed out waiting to be sent. But I've been strong enough not to call or send them. I don't know if I want you back or want every memory of you gone. What I don't want is to be the wreck that I was 3 weeks ago, which is what I'm afraid I'll turn into when I see you again. I know you will pretend to be friendly and you'll come say "Hi", I hope I can say it back and walk away. I don't want to say everything I've been thinking, I don't want to give you that satisfaction.

You really treated me like crap and walked all over me towards the end of our relationship. Even though till now I still blame myself somehow for not being good enough. IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE A LOSER GOD...=( now i feel bad for saying it...you dropped out of college 3 times and gave me bs excuses and dropped work b/c they didn't promote you 2 times. You wouldn't be in this situation if you stuck to ONE THING in your life, that includes me. You never stuck w/ me, you cop out every time something gets hard and WALK OUT...

You were my world...but somehow you became my hell...and consumed me, now I have to live with myself being broken..i don't even know how to live without you. I don't know anything else but you...I hate this...I love you. =(..I loved who you were...and how kind and amazing you were for 3 years....and the rest of the 2 was just pure waste of time and energy.

How could you give everything that I waited for, fought for, earned and deserve to someone else?! How could you give YOURSELF to someone else???

I hate you so much!

you dumped me twice in 3 weeks.

I just saw you, only 30 minutes ago, you were driving. I know you saw me.

how can you just look at me like i ment nothing to you, Like we are strangers now. Once we were so in love now we dont even talk, we pretend we dont see each other.

Why did you do this to me.

how can you live with you're self knowing i gave you thousands of dollars worth of my furniture which you happily took then dumped me a week later.

you are a game player.

you think its going to be so great being out there playing the field, well good luck to you cause you will soon realise you are not as great as you think.

holy hell ex what the hell is wrong with you? why so uppity? jeez

I still miss you and love you even I've told you I'm not... You will always be the most beautiful piece of my life puzzle, never be forgotten.

You found another guy, left me aside, told me that we can't be together... I was totally lost at 1st, but thanks that I have a grip on it now... I know, you are seeking the best, you are doing your best. I, hereby, as a man who loved you so much, willing to let you go, let you find your own path.

Even you've been leading me all time along with almost no clue at all, I glad that I have been led by you, those memory may just seems a piece of dust, but it is precious enough for me. Go ahead and find the best for yourself, I wish you the best and I always love you within my heart.

i don't think I will ever understand someone like you. You gave so much at first.. and then ripped it all away. I did not feel as you did in the beginning but I was honest to you. I always was. Maybe you where the one that was not honest. Maybe everything you stood for and told me in the beginning was a lie. You lie well then. As soon as I gave you my heart you did not care anymore the same way. You distanced yourself farther and farther away and would not tell me why. You made it look like it was other things standing in your way. You made everything into drama. Everything stressed you out. Spending time with me was too much work. I did not request much... just what anyone deserves. You are an immature jerk. No wonder why you're 40 and alone. You might keep finding people that want to be with you... the false you... because you put up such a front. But you will probably F*** that up too because you are so arrogant and stuborn. You don't realize it's YOU that is the problem. You throw away good relationships... and good people. You make yourself out to be such a great guy. You make yourself out to be a man's man. It's all bull. You are just as screwed up and manipulative as the other crap men I have come accross. Thanks for the heartache ASS****. Thanks for stomping on me and making me feel bad or that there was something wrong with me that you treated me like S***.

GO F*** YOURSELF

I am angry at you today. I miss you and hate you at the same time. I blasted you on don't date him link removed that felt good. Everything I said was the honest truth. You are cheap and selfish. You are a very hard man to live with and that ugly old mare your riding now with not stay with you. She will not put up with your hoarding and your alcholism. I don't know why I did. I also don't know why I miss you. You are not a beautiful person on the inside. I have lost all respect for you. Go to hell you MFer!!!!!

how could you be so heartless? all the **** you put me thru all these years, when all i wanted was you to show me some respect, you say I don't treat you good, but look at all the F***** up things you did to me. You tore my heart out and ripped it to shreds publicly you h** a** s***. And you want to be thought of as a good person, hahahah you must be kidding me. f u and all your whack a** friends. They're all s**** too you are at the head of the pack. you are an evil b****, that did enough just to keep me around. I hope I can come to my senses and realize how toxic you were. I hope you will regret your choices forever

it sucks that you are fooling yourself, not about me, but about your life in general. are you really that desperate?

i love this thread....

im getting better........faster, leaner and stronger...happier and more confident

I pray for you everynight that your okay and god looks after you....i pray for your new boyfriend to treat you right and god's will be done for your life....i forgive you everyday for what you did.....its gotta be everyday cause im not over you just yet...

all the best in your life

I think this is just what I needed, having spent a day wondering around in a daze with my poor daughters (I ended a year long totally traumatic relationship last weekend). I want to contact him and tell him stuff but I know it's absolutely the wrong thing to do...have ended it so many times and gone back on it or contacted him...so this time I will put my thoughts here:

I can't even begin to tell you how despicable the way you have treated me is...and the fact that yet again you have tried to blame your lying on me shows how far removed from reality you are. You will never understand this, I know that now.

You are quite possibly the most self-absorbed person I have ever met in my life, maybe apart from my own father...but no matter, the person I must now examine and think about is myself.

I need to work out why and how I came to spend (sorry waste) a year of my life waiting for a man who after only a month into the relationship showed that he wasn't trustworthy. How I spent all that time waiting and hoping for you to change and realise that you didnt want to be with your ex, but actually DID want me... and how I could be so stupid as to a)believe the completely ludicrous lies and b) forgive them when they revealed themselves as lies. But not only that, how I ignored my own instinct in the first place, when I knew your situation and was taken in by the bull * * * * emails promising me love and security...what a joke.

I don't want to find myself in this position again, with anyone, and so from now on I want no contact with you. At work, I will be polite and professional where necessary. Otherwise, I don't want to hear from you or speak to you, or to know any details about your life. I am a good, loving and loyal person with bucket loads to give the right man...and as soon as I have licked my wounds, and checked that my self esteem is restored to normal, I will open my heart again and be out there looking for him.

In the meantime, I wish you well. I hope that you too learn something from this experience, and don't even put another human being through the hell you subjected me to.

Phew, that feels better!!

Well everything I would say would be identical to what confusedandsad said wow everything she says is exactly how I feel. Pretty scary. lol

I've been wanting to contact you for the last few days, wanting to share stuff thats gone on in my life, stuff that would make you smile - but I stop myself b/c you probably wouldn't respond. For the last 6 weeks when we were together - you didn't respond to anything I shared with you - so why on earth would I expect you to respond now????

Your big gripe about me was that I wanted "more" and you would not give me "more". I wanted "more attention than you were willing to give me". How in the bleep is wanting a reply to a txt or an email from my b/f of 8 mos "more"??? How is wanting to spend some time - not all the time - just some time - during the week and weekend with my b/f "more"??? How is wanting my b/f to remember he has a g/f when he's making his week/weekend plans and thinking she may want to be involved or at least know what was up "more"???

I've racked my brain with all the "how's" and "why's" about things not working out between us. I can come up with tons of possible legitimate reasons. But you know what, at the end of the day it just comes down to you not wanting me/us anymore. You can project it on me all you want - me wanting "more" BS. But lets just be honest here...you didn't want me anymore so you stopped trying.

You know whats sad though? If you were sitting here next to me right now, we'd be having a good time. Watching TV, talking about stuff, snuggling. When we did spend time together - it was great. Problem was, that was happening less and less.

It irritates the bleep out of me that I still hope that things can work out between us. I think to myself if you'd only do those little things, treat me like you did the first few months....you can be that way if you want to... if only.... But I know deep down "if only" is just wishful thinking and this is how its going to be.

It's your loss I keep telling myself. Hopefully soon I will believe it 100%.

Happy birthday, Lee.

The day has come and I got through it better than I expected. I'm not going to say it was easy-I still thought about you most of the day and wondered if you were with your family or a new girl, and yes, I checked your Facebook profile. But it is what it is. I didn't cry today and I stayed busy, talked to some friends. So I'm going to say it was a good day.

Talking to some frineds, I finally realized what I did to you...truly and fully. I can't fully blame myself but I do take responsibility without malice. My cousin told me the truth about how I came accross--she thought I was pressuring you, however subtle. She told me that not everyone can do what I want when I want and that I came off as dependent on you. My whole world revolved around you. I asked what she meant.

She said, truth be told, I always wanted you to be perfect and you could not articulate your feelings. She said you were not strong enough to be open about your real feelings and that I need a man who is strong enough...someone who will confront me openly.

I see now that you did love me to your capacity of love. I was very insecure and did not always believe it. I did not love you to my full capacity because I didn't fully trust you. I still don't believe anyone can fully trust anyone, but they can at least try.

I'm aware of how much I must have turned you off. I had an honest discussion with K and found that I saw her (as a friend) the same way you saw me (as a lover): pressuring, judgmental, impatient. I'm sorry you saw me this way. I didn't intend to be, but I know now that I came off that way to more than just you and that my friends mirror who I was to you.

I did not listen to your concerns or accept you. I wanted to do things for you on my own terms, not yours. You wanted certain things I refused to give you so of course you left. I wanted it my way or the highway. I was controlling. You were too, but I wanted to put it all on you.

I feel absolutely no malice towards you. Neither do I think you are perfect. I think you got problems and so do I. But I'm surprised that on your birthday, I only feel hurt, not devestated and upset. I need more time to grieve you...I don't know how long...

But I am mostly ashamed I didn't learn these lessons sooner. I should have focused more on building my own passions, not on demands made on you. I finally get it emotionally as well as conceptually! I know it's a learning experience and we all make mistakes but the shame is embarrassing. You really must think I'm annoying. That hurts a lot. I don't like to see myself that way because I tried so hard not to be. But I was stubborn and hard headed and that was NOT a good thing.

I know now you will never take me back. People who have acted like I have towards you repel others. I should know because I have had friends like that and I've never wanted them back in my life. You were trying to be polite. The only thing I fault for you for is not being completely honest. You couldn't be real because you are actually like me. You just polarized.

Good luck with healing and self-discovery. I hope neither one of us mess up our next relationship with the things we did to this one.

I'm sorry for violating your privacy by reading your mail.

i think your lifestyle is really sad and empty and you are going to end up alone. You collect women like its a good thing? Its sad. Grow up and act your age.

No wonder your ex wife cheated on you and left you for another man.

I'm sorry for violating your privacy by reading your mail.

that one.

I also had a dream about you, you attained the life you want with the lady- I know you're out tonight and spent the whole night till the morning with her. somehow I dreamed about you and i feel sad. i dreamed about how chill we were- but it is not what you want, really.

I regret flaunting how happy my life right now, despite it's being the truth.

I need to collect myself and have more integrity.. be happy. i wish we can be friends, but you lie too much, justify yourself too much and try to impress yourself, and all the ladies. haha. I don't know man.

I just don't know.

i went through my email today..................i found a search button to look your name up instead of going through page by page like ive been doing when im missing you......you would actually laugh at that cause all this time i didnt know the function existed.....you would call me "loser" and you would laugh...i would say "no i'm not" and say i miss u heaps baby.......we would then talk about our day...wat bothered us and interesting stuff thats happened..but not anymore or forever will i hear your voice or words again

i read through my email...and we went through a lot....im sorry for the times i mistreated you......but you are one crazy gurl..asking me to propose to you when you knew we couldve not have possibly marry at that time......you knew i wanted to marry you....if you just waited another year maybe i wouldve known for sure you were the one....but you let the other guy come in......we only saw each other 1ce a week because of the schedule of our jobs and uni ...and didnt wanna see me during the weekdays cause u said u didnt wanna stay out late...even though we couldve spent 2 hours together just talking in the car and you would be in bed by 10....in the begigning when we were both just at uni and doing casual jobs we would spend 4-6 days a week together....when u got your new job at the bank 1day was enough for you to see me....

i told you 1 week b4 we broke up "since your graduating your gonna leave me for a banker" and you told me "stop being so insecure".....but you did 1 week later

no you let the other guy in....spent your whole day at work talking to him...talking about me and us....how im old fashioned....not into fashion YOU like....letting him put me down.....you said we had a connection...and now u say you and this guy have a connection.....

i dont understand what was the point of giving me this laptop for my bday if u were gonna break up with me 3 months later.......or the picture you drew that meant so much to you that you gave me on our 2 year anniversarry if you were gonna end it 2 months later...

you broke so many promises...i remember keeping all of mine....you asked everything of me and gave it you....tried to win you back but you sealed my efforts by kissing him on the 3rd day of ending us....seeing him 1 day after our breakup.....I knew YOU were toxic....but i guess thats the way it has to be...cause i think god knows your not good for me....u didnt believe in my dreams, passion and ideals....

well i hope your happy cause iam moving on....theres another girl in the horizon but i cannot make a move till im over you cause i dont want to risk a good thing with pains and memories of you... im not gonna get a rebound...im gonna heal and find, not another you but a gurl thats meant for me...A million times better than you....and this gurl already is....even though we're not together...shes only a good friend for now but her friendship is already a million times better on the good days ive spent with you.....

i hope your happy cause i swear gurl....im getting over you....over you real fast.....im always getting better, faster and stronger.

Why have you not contacted me? Its been seven days. Have you not throught about me, not even once? I asked you not to contact me, i wish i didnt,,,but i know its the only way i will get over you. I dont want to get over you, but we will never be the same again, everything is broken. you broke everything and you cant even be honest and tell me why.

How dare you hurt me the way you did. How dare 2 weeks later you decide you made a huge mistake only to use me for sex and dump me again. why would you want to hurt me so bad. The last night we spoke i acted badly, i kept bringing up us, i was getting nasty, i regret that but i couldnt help it, you hurt me so much.

I miss you more than anything i dont think i will ever meet anyone like you again. I have a hard time meeting men, you know i am shy.

why did you do this to me? do you feel happier now?

Dear blank,

Even though your actions on Sunday were completely inexcusable and juvenile, I'm glad you committed them. Because it was only after you did those things that I realized something: you have changed. I don't know what caused it, but after we broke up you suddenly turned into a manipulating, immature, selfish, and insecure person. Now that I've realized this, I no longer want anything to do with the new you. Don't ever contact me again. Stay out of my life.

Comrade

I miss you more than anything i dont think i will ever meet anyone like you again. I have a hard time meeting men, you know i am shy.

Don't worry lotus, you will find someone. Just put yourself out there, and stay open minded. Your new special someone is out there, waiting for you.

Your ex sounds like someone who was extremely cruel to you. Mine was the same. At least now you know that you have to put him behind you. There is no going back.

You can do it lotus! You are not alone.

Why? You said you loved me. The very morning you broke up with me you told me you wanted to marry me. You told me that just hours before you broke up with me via email. Why? Because you gave up? How could you give up on me? If you really truly loved me, how could you just quit? Do you know how much I'm hurting? Do you have any idea what you've done to me? Why? How?

You asked me not to contact you, so I won't. I want to. I want to so badly. I don't think you have any idea about how much I love you. I don't think you know how much you're killing me. I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I miss you.

Why? Oh god, why?

I look back and I honestly cant believe all the crap you put me through... after staying together for 5 years AFTER you cheated on me with 4 different guys, what do you do, you go and cheat again. You claimed the whole time that you were in love with me and that I was the person you wanted to marry and have children with and spend the rest of your life with.

Either you have been lying to me and yourself about that for years or you are just a terribly selfish person who only thinks in the moment and only considers her own feelings at the cost of all others.

Even after we stayed together again after the cheating, you only ended up leaving me as soon as another guy came into the picture. Why you came back again at that point, I cant imagine. I just feel like I let myself down by giving you the chance AND finally putting in some serious effort to fix the issues on my end of the relationship. And then a month later you met another guy, and ended up leaving me for him... AFTER you cheated on me AND lied to me about the reasons for breaking up with me.

I see you are moving on, and it really bothers me that you are able to so easily move on while I am stuck wondering how this could have happened again and wondering what if anything you ever told me was the truth and wondering still what hurtful things you never told me.

I find myself desperately wanting to call you and reconcile and make things the way we both at one point really truly wanted things to be between us, but I find myself at a point right now where I am wondering if I can ever forgive, and wondering if I would ever be able to trust you again. You have no idea what its like to wonder if you can ever forgive and wonder if you will ever be able to trust the one person you love more than anything in this world.

Thanks for hurting me. I know I am a better person than you are because while you were always concerned for yourself in the moment, I still hope that you will be happy one day, whether it is with me or not.

Goodbye