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Thread: Post here instead of contacting your ex!

  1. #19331
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    167
    You resurface regularly these days and I bite every time. We're about to be thousands of miles apart for the next few weeks, then you move later in the summer. I dread the fact that I'm going to miss you being nearby. I'm still not fully over you. I can't tell anymore where you're at but I know you must still contact me for a reason. I'm still not going to contact you first. If you want to talk you know where I am. I wish I could forget you. Draw a line under you. Just move on completely. Yet I can't and I don't understand why. Months on and I'm still infatuated. The thoughts of you are just emotionally draining.

  2. #19332

    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    2
    Feeling pretty lonely today. Today is one of the only days I would usually see my ex and I'm thinking about them a lot right now. I know if we were to see each other then it would just cause me more pain afterwards because it wouldn't be how I would want it to be. We never really even did anything together but I think it was just nice to have some company outside of work even when we were doing mundane things. I expected to experience some loneliness and its been so long since I've had to spend a week by myself without contacting them. I can't even remember how I functioned on my own so much before I met them. God I hope this gets easier, this is only the 2nd day of no contact but the 6th week after breaking up. Just want to feel like myself again.

  3. #19333

    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    2
    I want you to message me so bad. I just keep thinking that if you really cared you'd find any way possible to get in touch with me. I know it's selfish to want that because I insisted on no contact, but I did that because you were draining my mental health so badly, I just didn't feel like myself anymore. I know if you messaged me it would just be shallow anyways but I want you to miss me and I want you to feel guilty and recognise the role you played in the end of us. I hate that I loved you so much when our relationship was just and so nothing at all. I think you were my true first love and I wouldn't wish the experience on anyone, i'm sure you're doing fine and are getting on with your routine and not thinking about it, i guess this is pretty easy for you since you had no trouble ignoring and not messaging me when we were actually together. I'm sure one day you will marry your friend who you've kept close for so many years after your relationship ended, you spend the amount of time with him that you would expect someone to spend with the person they are in a relationship with. Even my councillor said that it was ing weird! I wish I had just let things end back in January and just given up and not tried to push on and make things work, but damn I am stubborn. I will get my pride back and move on with my life. I don't know if you'll ever truly find the love you want when you continue to do the things you do.

  4. #19334
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Age
    28
    Posts
    1,725
    Gender
    Female
    I thought about you yesterday and missed you.

    I am over you, I don't know what this is about. My heart hasn't warmed to anyone in a real substantial way in years-I really wish that could change. But it's not easy-you know how I am, too f- picky for my own good. For the past while, I have found myself losing interest instantaneously and I can't seem to help it. There's this song that always made me think of you, and I heard it yesterday. It brought back strong memories of how I used to feel about you. But it's been years, and noone else has really touched me in the same way. I really do wish to feel those strong, uninhibited emotions again. I have grown up so much since then, but what I felt for you was real. It was a very confusing few years for me back then but regardless of what went down, I did genuinely love you.

    I hope you're doing well B.
    Last edited by Honeycomb8; 07-04-2019 at 11:57 PM.

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  6. #19335
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    6
    I would have given my life for you ten times over. Until I finally accepted that you would have slit my throat to save yourself long before I ever got the chance. Whether you ever regret betraying me is irrelevant, my lifeís mission is to protect our daughter from the trail of divorce and destruction you and your family leave in their wake.

  7. #19336
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    167
    I've been dreading this week for months because I knew you were leaving. You included me in your going away festivities only because I hit you up first. I have no regrets seeing you up until now. I text you today to say goodbye and you couldn't even reply. This is not how I thought this would play out. This is not how I wanted our final encounters to end. I'm crushed. You could've said thank you and I would've been fine. But not this. This stings.

  8. #19337
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    60
    It's been a few months now and I still love you the same before you left there isnt a day that goes by I dont think of you. I miss you and want you to come home

  9. #19338

    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Location
    Palmerton, PA
    Posts
    1
    Gender
    Male
    So here's the scoop.

    I am not giving you my new phone number. If you need to contact me, you can use email.

    You pushed me into poverty. You knew what you were doing - in fact, you PLANNED to do it.

    I know you told me you wanted to remain friendly, but the facts are clear. You pushed me into poverty.

    "It's not my fault if you didn't plan for your retirement." Well, remember..... You got cancer and wanted to retire. I said I would retire with you, we would use my 401K as a savings account and we would live off your pension. That was perfectly fine with you.

    You understood that I was sacrificing 6 years of salary (almost $700,000) so that we could spend whatever time we had together. I HAD a plan. I changed it for you.

    Then I contributed to your $780/month COBRA premium - even put you on my medical insurance so that you would have a less expensive premium. Put in that fireplace. Paid for vacations. When the budget came up short, I quietly pulled money out to cover the monthly bills. I ignored needed repairs on my car.

    Everything was fine until my savings were spent. Suddenly you wanted to know where I was "hiding" my money. Remember that evening when you demanded to see my accounts and I showed all of the to you?At that point I should have seen the writing on the wall.

    You knew that under NJ Family Law that if you divorced me, the Court would not approve the settlement if one of us had to undergo a dramatic shift in life style. You must have known that the Court would have ordered alimony - yes, only for the length of time we were married - because the Court would have understood that a 5 year gap in employment coupled with my age rendered me unemployable. And you certainly knew that the alimony figure would have been 1/3rd of the difference between your monthly income and mine. So what did you do?

    We both know the answer. You waited until I was too broke to even be able to afford to challenge the divorce. You even refused to memorialize the cash "settlement" because the Court might have interpreted that as evidence of your plan to leave me destitute. You were so clever.

    You lied to me. You lied to your family - "it was a mutual divorce" - you lied to our friends. You wanted to be sure that nobody ever learned how despicable you have become.

    I trusted you like I have never trusted any other person in my life. If there was anything in that "post-nup" that would have hurt me, I trusted you to tell me. You didn't.

    You planned to hurt me long before you carried it out.

    You are dead to me. I don't want to hear from you ever again for ANY reason. No texts or calls. No emails (yes, that address is being killed as well). No US mail - it will be tossed unopened. Besides, in a few weeks my physical address is going to change. You will not know where I am ever again.

  10. #19339
    Member ThatGirlTayl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    87
    Gender
    Female
    , I miss you. I wish you cared about me and loved me the way I care about you and love you. Maybe this is for the best though? Maybe we're just not meant to be in this lifetime.

  11. #19340
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,449

    Post here instead of contacting your ex!

    I donít understand why you didnít want to work on the relationship. And I donít understand why, after having a 15 year marriage, when the breakup was YOUR idea, you barely acknowledge I exist after 3.5 years of being apart.

    I would have liked to develop some sort of cordial friendship for the sake of our kids... not like actual friends but an open line of communication when it comes to our children... instead, you cut me out in every possible way, make decisions to share information with them without talking to me first, including telling our oldest that it was because of her that we had struggles in our relationship.

    I donít understand why you arenít happy for me in my new relationship while you have had 3 since we split up.

    I have chosen to practice grace and dignity through this and walk through my feelings with my friends instead of having pointless conflict with you but I want you to know my heart is still broken as a result of our break up and while I never want to get back together, I suppose I had a faint hope that we could at least get along... which is probably more about my codependency than it is about you but anyways.

    Deep down inside I wish you had at least once acknowledged the harm you caused in our relationship and that it wasnít all my fault... I have come to accept for the most part that I will never get that amends... and am working on forgiving you and myself for what happened in our marriage.

    Thatís what is in my heart and while I have no desire to actually be that vulnerable with him as he would not treat my heart with care, itís those sorts of feelings I am still letting go of.


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