how would you react if sister / brother / daughter tells you they are severelly depressed...

I told my sister (through email) that I was severelly depressed and cannot call her because I feel judged and scared to talk to her in the state I am in. I explained how I had severe PMS depression last month and that my work felt so stressful and I was exhausted and never climbed out of that PMS depression a few weeks later.

the month before I had been talking to her on the phone and I told her I felt suicidal to which she replied NOTHING and suggested nothing.

anyway when I sent her the email she replied "I'm there if you need to talk" but didn't call or come see me (she works a lot but could have called)...

then last night she left me a msg saying her and our brother want to take me out TONIGHT for my birthday which was in the middle of August. I called her back and left her a msg that I can't and she hasn't called me back. neither her or my brother ever called me ahead (and never called about my depression) and they expect me to be available in less than 24 hours notice.

I know she told my mother and brother about how I feel. My mother called me a couple of day ago and left me a msg but that's it. If my sister or brother or mom had severe depression always coming and going I'd do more to help them. I contemplated suicide so many times and I could be dead they wouldn't even know it. it's like they just want to avoid me. I don't feel like going out with them tonight. why should I? they didn't even give my any notice and hardly provide with any support. If one of them was in trouble I'd be right there suggesting support groups, phone numbers, to talk on the phone, to visit with them.... I always HAVE to do everything on my own. like all the research and looking for help. it's too hard.

I have been tole a number of times by diffrent people that they feel depresed or suicidal and these are people I care about a great deal and I was lost I didnt know what to say or do, if somone your close to says they are feeling suicidal you feel in some way that you have failed them that your not enough to keep them happy and safe although I would rather them tell me than not so that I can be there for them. unfortunately its human nature to judge people and one of the most common behaviours is dibelife they will say that its just a fase or for attention because thats what they want to believe.

I agree if they wanted you to go out with them they should of given you more notice not just a last minute thing but what you need is just somone to talk to just start from the beginning and explain how your feeling so you can understand it better yourself.

I think I have commented on one of your previous posts Im not sure if I mentioned this then but maybe if you write down how your feeling itll help you to understand why you feel certain things and you could always send it to one of them so that they can understand as well, but like I said they dont always want to believe it somtimes its worth seeking a councling as you can tell them anything without fear of judgment.

Feel free to ask me any questions if you like

I would not expect my family to react any differently to what they normally react if I was to say something like this to them. This is because I know them so well that I have accepted their attitude, character and thusly their reactions. If I had a health problem of this kind I would go to the doctors. Family can help, and you need their support yes, but they might not have the necessary knowledge or understanding of your condition. Maybe they are worried and simply do not know what to do or say...

See a doctor.

Hope you are doing ok.

x

If I need help badly then I need to keep my blinders on and continue to seek help rather than allowing the non-helping reactions to make me feel worse. This is particularly true if my problem is depression/suicidal thoughts. There are people who can help, you just happened to find one or two who couldn't.

how would you react if sister / brother / daughter tells you they are severelly depressed...

Abnormal Psychology 101: Never leave someone alone if they are perceived as being capable of taking their own life.

If someone has a black-and-white plan in their mind to do something "rash", then you or someone close to that person should be by their side for however long is possible until a professional is spoken to concerning the issue. It may just be a whimsical period of the person's life where they're not thinking clearly or it may be more severe, but regardless, it's obviously a sign that something is wrong and requires attention from a mental health professional.

The thing I've always been able to do, though, is determine what is more severe than others. Maybe this is why I'm going into counseling soon?

You have to talk to the person and gauge how the person got to where he or she is. Get your hands dirty, get down to specifics and weigh in on the issue yourself, but always try to be as objective as possible that way it will stray away from any biased notions or opinions.

I would just try to be a friend and be there for the person. Period.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a rough time and that your family is being non-supportive. It seems that when we need people the most in life, they suddenly become emotionally unavailable...and that does make you feel worse! Sometimes the people we call upon for help can make you feel like a burden to their lives. I, myself, am Bi-Polar so I do understand the depression and how it affects your life. Before I was diagnosed, I would call my sister and/or mother when I was depressed and I was more or less accused of being an "attention wh**e"...long story short, I knew I needed help and only "I" could help myself so I found professional help...and it helped a great deal.

If I had someone call me, whether it be family or friend, and say they were depressed and having suicidal thoughts I would take it VERY SERIOUSLY...it's nothing to play with or brush off lightly. I think your best bet is to go to the doctor...if he/she suggests medication...try it! If he/she suggests counseling...try it! When you're in this position you need to be completely open-minded to any suggestions as far as treatment goes.

Please...if you want to vent, or just speak to someone that's been where you are...feel free to PM me!!! Seek professional help...your life is worth saving...you HAVE to believe that!! Good luck and please, keep us posted with your progress.

everytime I have tried to talk to my sister she will say "when I'm depressed I get my act together" or something like that. Last time we saw each other she told me she has a had time with the fact that I am "always tired".

I have tried really hard all my life, so far I have:

-been in therapy from age 16 until 21, 2 to 3 times a week. this was in a Children's Hospital, with a psychiatrist and paid for by the state. He made sexual interpretations of my dremas, called me "gorgeous" and encouraged me to have sex with guys I met (to experiment). everything was sexual. and he didn't even warn me to use protection. at 21, I leterally "broke free" from that therapy and he acted very angry that I left. I was terrifed of him.

-have gone to councelling while in college

-have participated in a 6 month long, full time day hospital group threapy for generalized anxiety disorder and depression (inlcuidng feeling suicidal).

-have gone though 3 women's programs for survivors of abuse (group therapy with other women).

-have spent the last year in individual councelling with a therapist.

I have also read many self-help books, done journaling, yoga and meditation.

I ALWAYS end up back where I started, confused, scared, alone and depressed. My anxiety has gotten worse (so has my PMS depresison). I am ashamed in front of my family, I feel like a failure.

PS my sister, mother and brother have NEVER gone to any sort of theray ands have relativelly happy, or at least stable lives. they also have more friends than I do and are not constantly in crisis. Yet if I tell them how I feel, they avoid me or they say something ridiculous like go for a walk or something. well I walk more than the 3 of them put together. I walk 2 or 3 hours a day.

now I have a phobia of going back to work because the teaching has got me so anxious and stressed.

what am I gonna do?

I think that there is alot of underlaying thought and emotion that is causing you all of this stress and anxioty, you need to be able to deal with your emotions in a constructive way.

Have you thought of starting a martial art or a gym class that can build on your confidence so that you dont feel so vunerable around other people, its a good way of dealing with emotion as when you feel stressed or angry you can do a little bit of training and punch it out.

I think that you compare your life to others alot and that you see other people with loads of friends and you wounder why you dont have them yourself but you shouldnt see it like that, everyone is diffrent and not everyone is a large social group type person.

Because you feel like a failure infront of your family your not gona be able to progress anywhere, if you stop thinking about things being wrong and think how you can improve them, think of where you are and where you would like to be then you can come up with ways to reach your goals.

Wow, it is like hearing my own story! I was admitted to hospital for depression when I was 19, struggled another 10 years through anti-depressants, counselors, birth control pills, you name it. At 30, I realized it was connected to my cycle. Drs. who say they work with PMS tried to put back throught the anti-depressant/birth control treatments. I refused and found a dr. who worked with high dose natural progesterone suppositories. I know it is not for everyone, most can find relief through diet and progesterone creams. But for me, it was a miracle. I stuck to a diet that excluded foods he called "unforgiving", took progesterone about 1600 mg a day starting on day 10 (another thing the regular dr. didn't agree with) and followed some other guidelines. It worked for me. After two years, I was a normal person!! I am 40 now, and recently had to start the program again. I was exhausted, not tired like a normal person, but exhausted as in keeping my eyelids up was a strain. Thoughts out of control, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, blow-ups, conflict everywhere, broken relationships...

Please don't give up, you are truly not alone, although there are very few who have PMS to such a degree---so most will not understand. There is help, it is not easy to find, but keep looking until you find what suits you. You know what you can tolerate and what makes you feel worse. Even knowing what I have, it is difficult. My thoughts are with you!