Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: pregnancy phobia?

  1. #1
    Christiana

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    351

    Question pregnancy phobia?

    I'm 25 years old and married. my husband and I both want children but I have this major fear of pregnancy/labor. I'm scared I'll be bed ridden for 9 moths sick and in pain like some women I've met. Or have the worst pregnancy ever. Also, I'm afraid of losing the baby because I'm pretty weak and somewhat sickly.
    And not to mention actually giving birth! I'm terrified of the pain and process. Then afterwards getting no sleep for months and expected to function like a normal person. whew! So is it normal to fear this stuff when you want kids? I hear girls saying they can't wait to have a baby and all this stuff. Has anyone had a baby and thought like I do? what can I do to ease these fears?

  2. #2
    SpinSpinSugah
    Member SpinSpinSugah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    17
    LOL...Interesting. I'm 25, single and totally don't want kids XDD.... Anyway I knew a woman who was about your age and she was pretty miserable during her pregnancy. She kept this silly book with her and read it all the time called "What to expect when expecting." Her friend took it away from her and nick-named it "What to dread when expecting." Knowing every teeny tiny discomfort that was coming her way only served to heighten her anxiety. In the end when she wasn't looking for things that could go wrong, she ended up not noticing all the little things and not feeling so uncomfortable.

    As for childbirth well... it's a rough ride for both you AND your little one. I suggest talking to -doctors- who have assisted in labour and doing your research that's based on successful births and techniques used in the birth process, rather than horror stories or anything. Of course having people who are familiar with it should help alot. Again, see how your chances are. If they're good, go for it! If you're this concerned and serious you'll be a good mother I'm sure Best of luck, hope that helped some

  3. #3
    Hope75
    Platinum Member Hope75's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    kitteh ville
    Age
    41
    Posts
    12,761
    Gender
    Female
    Hi There,

    I just gave birth 10 weeks ago to my first and I can tell you that while pregnancy, birth and motherhood are definitely not easy, it's OK to be anxious about it because you don't know what to expect, and how you will feel. But, after having gone through a fairly difficult pregnancy (pre-eclampsia, being take out of work on restricted activity, ankles and fingers the size of hams, and being induced 3 weeks early then crash c-section after 26 hours of hard labor with a failed epidural) and delivery, (and having a baby in the NICU for 5 days) I would totally do it all over again.

    Pregnancy, birth and infancy are temporary, and they go by soooo quick, it really isn't anything to get too worked up about. Being a mom to my beautiful daughter has made it completely worth while. If you want children I think you will find that at the end of the journey you will think it is all worth it too. Honestly now I find that short period of time so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, I think most moms if you ask them will say the same.

    (ps my baby is 10 weeks and we are already talking about # 2!)

  4. #4
    thejigsup
    Platinum Member thejigsup's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Age
    61
    Posts
    7,655
    Gender
    Female
    I'm not trying to scare you, really I'm not, but pregnancy and childbirth are not fun at all!!! I hated being pregnant, could not even keep down water the last 5 months. I lost weight being pregnant. Probably the only woman in the history of man who lost 2 lbs a week in her 9th month. I was that sick! Childbirth: The most painful thing I have ever felt and I've had broken bones, sever migraines, etc.... nothing prepares you for the pain of labor.
    Motherhood, I didn't sleep for longer than 90 minutes at a time for 6 months.
    Would I do it again? NO! But I love my son very much and 21 years later, I'm still glad I had him. He has my heart, still. Never a moments trouble, a great kid and just made Deans List at college! I'm a proud mom!

  5. #5
    SamiJayne
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    819
    Pregnancy was fine for me. No sickness.

    I think the worst things were

    Lack of Iron, B12. Fixed by tablets and injections.

    SPD (only started last week, in this pregnancy only) I was offered physio (spelling sorry) but turned it down as I think its a waste of money for the NHS. I'd rather they put the money else where. I've only got 5weeks of pain.

    And hunger.. Always hungry.

    the need to go the bathroom too. Espeically in the middle of the night when you have spd. Ow..

    And labour with my daughter, it wasn't the worst pain I'd felt. The worst pain was when she died, and I have to live with that pain every day. Labour pain went away pretty fast after I delivered her. I was comfortable with walking around straight afterwards. I couldn't believe I'd gone through labour.

    They give you drugs, I had gas and air. Which I was sure wasn't working until the gas ran out... then I was very happy to have the gas.

    I'm terrified of this labour with this baby. I'm now 35 weeks, and I'm scared for lots of reasons. Him dying like Sophie, the pain, But the fear didn't make me take plan B when I forgot one pill in janurary. This baby is the best forgotten birth control pill ever!

    It's normal to be scared. Pain is scary.

    If your worried about your health, go to your GP explain your worries. S/He should be able to put your mind at ease.

  6. #6
    Hope75
    Platinum Member Hope75's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    kitteh ville
    Age
    41
    Posts
    12,761
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by thejigsup [Register to see the link]
    I'm not trying to scare you, really I'm not, but pregnancy and childbirth are not fun at all!!! I hated being pregnant, could not even keep down water the last 5 months. I lost weight being pregnant. Probably the only woman in the history of man who lost 2 lbs a week in her 9th month. I was that sick! Childbirth: The most painful thing I have ever felt and I've had broken bones, sever migraines, etc.... nothing prepares you for the pain of labor.
    Motherhood, I didn't sleep for longer than 90 minutes at a time for 6 months.
    Would I do it again? NO! But I love my son very much and 21 years later, I'm still glad I had him. He has my heart, still. Never a moments trouble, a great kid and just made Deans List at college! I'm a proud mom!

    I think that the differences in my and this post go to show you is that every woman's experience is different and every woman's perspective is different, but ultimately it remains true that pregnancy and childbirth are only a temporary state, so hopefully you can take comfort in that.

  7. #7
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    51
    Posts
    32,745
    Gender
    Female
    I would say every woman is afraid to be pregnant. Each time I was pregnant I was terrified. When I found out I was pregnant with my son I cried and laughed at the same time, kind of hysterical. Then I was TERRIFIED. The unknown is SCARY. I did not know I was in for a really bad time, but when I saw his face after he was born I would have done it all over again right then and there. Like Hope said it is temporary but what you get in exchange is a life time to love another human being so totally it is undescribeable and to be loved in return if you do it right. A life time of love and joy and sharing and unsurpassed achievement.

  8. #8
    arwen
    Silver Member arwen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Age
    37
    Posts
    5,935
    Gender
    Female
    I am not particularly afraid of being pregnant. I was miserable the first three months, and now I feel great (almost halfway). Yes, I worry about the baby: is it healthy, will I carry full term... etc., but that's natural. Life is fragile, and you'll have worries when the baby is there too. That's not the same as being terrified to be pregnant.

    I think you're not ready, to be honest. You don't HAVE to have babies, if it's not what you really want! Esp. since you're only 25, who's telling you you should be having babies now? I am 29 and now expecting the first, never thought about having a baby until I met my husband at 26.

  9. #9
    Lonewing
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    SW US
    Age
    36
    Posts
    6,079
    Gender
    Male
    My mom seemed to have enjoyed having me so much she then went and had 7 more...When my dad was, done after the 5/6 twin fiasco that ended three months early with one weight 1 lb 10 oz and in the hospital for three months and the other deceased after 48 second, she got a new man, had two more, and then he ran out too!!!

    I have a lot of brothers and sisters...

    I don't know what it is, but I think our over education is simply making us over anxious abou the future. Relax and let it come. You will endure. What ever you do, DO NOT do what my Ex's mother did to her - she rana guilt trip on my ex about how difficult her pregnancy was with her, how terrbile her labor was, and how my Ex basically ruined her perfect body. Yep...I think that had an impact on my Ex, who still dearly loved her mother. I get a kick when I read my ex's tribute to her mom: "...she loved unconditionally to the end..." HA!!! Her mom died at 47 from lung cancer, after knowing it would kill her when grandmom died at 49 from the same problem. I am not missing out on anything with my ex one bit!!! She's screwed up for life. Sad.

  10.  

Top Threads
Vaginal infection
So it seems that I have a vaginal infection. Looks like it's a yeast infection so I went to buy some ointment for it. This is my first time ever
I need some help
So my girlfriend and I were fooling around and she gave me a handjob and wiped most of the semen off of her hands and we went back to watching the
What are the chances that I could be pregnant?
I really, really, don't want to get pregnant right now. I'm in no way ready to take care of a child, and right now I'm extremely worried. My

Featured Threads
What eNotAlone gave you?
I wonder mostly about long-time members who decided to be a part of this community. Has this forum enriched your lives, and if so, in what
How to end things with him
Iíve been dating this guy for 2 months. In the beginning he was very sweet and romantic, however I learned in the last month or so that he is
My ex bf told me he wants sex, nudes and me to loan him money until he's stable... Should I lend $?
Hello.. I am 22 I met my ex bf (21) 3 years ago in college. He dropped out of college after the first semester.. he didn't go to finals. He stayed in
How Should I have handled it?
My GF and I were together for about 5 months. Things were great except for some of my questioning her online activity which challenged her. All
My Ex Husband still berates me
Hello, first off I am not sure why I am on a forum but.. I need an anonymous outlet I guess because my friends and family all say the same thing
Yall ready for a messed up one...
Okay, so i cheated on my bf about 6 month ms into our relationship with a guy 20 years older then me at our work. And it was a rule that it was only
Iím at a really bad state of mind right now
Itís been a little over the month since the breakup, since then, heís messaged me 2-3 times about random topics (that I donít care about), and has
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •