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Thread: My husband wants a "trial" separation

  1. #11
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    Apr 2007
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    You are actually right on the money, so don't be sorry. He had what I define as an emotional affair two years ago(he still denies that it was an affair and gets defensive when I use that word), while I was pregnant, which without going into the entire dramatic story, ended with us still being together two years later. I have come to terms with this, which just means that it has been a long and difficult road since that time and I have learned quite a few things along the way, but I have found some peace with myself. Though, you may be right. Maybe he is comparing me to something or someone, searching for that thing we lack. Whatever it is, he's not telling me or he doesn't know, or I just don't understand because I'm utterly stupid, or he is not communicating it in a way that I understand. I guess I kind of feel like I have hit a wall, and I need to scale it even if the other side is not so sunny. I wish someone would just throw me over it. Anyway, you are pretty in tune with my situation so thanks. Nothing is really resolved, but it's nice to feel some validation.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    I think you should consider having him get a second opinion from a doctor for his meds if he is willing.
    I have seen this before in my own marriage. She decided she wasn't happy and set out to find something or someone in my case to MAKE her happy. He will never have lasting happiness unless he learns to be happy and not look to others or things to make him happy.
    Google "Walk Away Wife Syndrome" or more accurately "Walk Away Spouse Syndome". The information you read may help you understand what it is you can and can't do to help. In the end it is his choice to continue on this distructive path. True happiness will never be his by running away.
    You have been a more than understanding and he is lucky to have you. Try and not react to his words or deeds. The reactions by you will just feed his problems.

    best wishes
    PM me anytime
    Lost

  3. #13
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    hmmm...i am sorry to hear that 1stTH...lostandhurt may be right about about some of us needing to learn how to be happy...

    it seems like you still don't know what is lacking in your relationship because you still refer to it as 'that thing we lack'....if you can listen without judging at all, then i would try to help him and yourself what is it you lack

    it doesn't mean that you may be the person to help him fill what is lacking but at least you will know...

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