"Let's Be Friends"!

I know i've been going on a bit lately, but hear me out.

After 3 weeks of coming and going and conversations, i finally decided to move on from my ex. She (same sex relationship) moved interstate to try to get custody of her biological child, but before she left, she had promised to return regardless of the custody outcome.

To cut a long story short, i know she loved me but i always felt her heart was 2000km away with her children. When i asked her 3 weeks ago whether she was still coming back, i got a "sorry, i can't let you know until after mediation" text message. Nice! Could have at least phoned.

Anyway, there begun the demise. When i started asking her direct questions (i wanted some re-affirmation), she refused to give me a straight answer, eg, "are you prepared to make it (the relationship) work?", i'd get "i live in XX, i don't see how it can", instead of just saying yes or no. I found this irritating to say the least.

Last night, i decided to talk to her to get my answers. She finally let slip that she could change her mind (about coming back) and that she needed time to "clear her head" etc. And, that she still wants to be friends. I told her if she's not prepared to work on the relationship, then i don't want to be friends and i am happy with that decision. I finally laid down some boundaries.

Hellalujah!

Now, all i've got to do is re-invigorate my social life (which i completely let go when we were together). I live on my own and sometimes feel insane with loneliness, but i know i've got to get back out there and make it happen. Being single at 40 is a pain!

Why the hell do people say "i want to be your friend"?

Well, maybe she was a guy in disguise! No, i've definitely heard girls say it.

I would love to be struggling with the 20-something who am i and parent dilemma! Those were the days *sigh*.

In relation to the friends thing, it was more a decision of expedience. I decided i didn't want to waste anymore time and when i really thought about it, the three months or so that we would have been "friends" for, is 3 months i could have been out meeting new people.

Now, i am looking forward to meeting new people!

Its almost impossible to be friend after a relationship, even it is, its not true.... and friend is not made that way.