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Thread: Been Broke up for 1st Month...Does he miss me?

  1. #1
    jbrooklyn
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    Been Broke up for 1st Month...Does he miss me?


    4 years
    Up and Down
    He left me
    Not what I wanted

    It is going to be a month very soon and I find myself missing him alot more lately. I am surprised that we have not been talking and I miss him so much. I know that NOTHING good would come from having a conversation but he is always on my mind. I did everything I could to win his love and respect for a long time and he still didnt love me right.

    I just love him and I never wanted our love to go away. I think he is probably got another chic and moving along fine. I wish it was that easy for me. The last time we talked I was crying my eyes out and he said he just dont want to be in a relationship right now.

    I tried to be friends before this happen but I couldnt get it thru my head that we were not really together. I finally said, I will face the lost. It has been a month.

    I havent talked to him and even if he would calll, it wouldnt be to say I love you and I want you back. It would be to say how are you are some stuff like that. I want more!!!!

    Anyway, I could never be with him treating me the way it has been lately. I dont want that. I just want the man that use to love me back.. I just tell myself, dont bank on him coming back and I try to move on. It is rough!!! I just wonder will he ever look back. Does he miss me? Does he care? is this really want he wants?

  2. #2
    SapphireNoir10
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    Of course you love him. It takes longer than a month to get over a long relationship. But you will love again and you will be happy again it just takes time. Stay no contact, talking to him will make you feel worse.

  3. #3
    ackerman
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    hey, im in the same boat (but im the guy) and its been just over a month since she spoke to me. i couldnt remain friends especially when she told me she wants to be free to go out and flirt. i just couldn't bare that, i've been forced to let go. i did everything i could to try and get her back, but failed as she'd made her decision. we used to chat on the phone for 2 hours almost every night whilst in bed (there was distance between us). she used to tell me i was amazing, she thought of me all the time, etc. which makes me wonder if she still does, i dont know but probably not. i always wonder the same things you do but then i think to myself how gorgeous she is and how she could get with any guy she wants, why would she come back for me? all i can rely on is the connections we had, how i tried to make her feel special, being there for her every night and making her laugh. all we can hope is they miss the person, not as such the attraction/appearance but the things you did for them, the great times you shared. you never know at some point he might encounter something that makes him realise losing you was a mistake. but your not on your own, i just try to keep myself busy doing other things.. shes always there in my mind but just have to carry on. but sometimes i just like to talk about her and the good times, she may not be around but she is still in my heart. i know its hard but keep going and just take each day as it comes. take care

  4. #4
    Mellie
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    Hi jbrooklyn,

    First off, after 4 years, I've no doubt he still cares. He is bound to miss you. It's easy to think because they left they're off having a whale of the time, but I believe that is rarely the case.

    I can understand where you're coming from. I was only with my ex for 2 years, lived with him for 1, when he ended it with me. He said it was because he didn't love me 'enough'. I honestly had this gut feeling all along he didn't love me at all.

    So three months after the break up, I get weekly emails from him, but all they say is 'how are you' and talk about the weather. He wanted to come and see the play I'm in, didn't show mind. No talk about the relationship or a 'can we meet up?'. Just offering to come and watch from afar then failing to appear. So even though it counts as contact, as such, in reality, it doesn't really. Yes, it's kind of frustrating. Does it help me? Probably not. But I'm trying to keep an open mind.

    I have started online dating and this renewed contact has caused me to stall, but maybe I need this time to think about where I'm at before rushing headlong into another relationship and screwing that up.

    I do feel better than I did 3 months ago. So much better you wouldn't believe. I still think of him, but I don't get upset anymore. However bad a day you have, just know a good one is around the corner. And you'll question it when it comes. Then soon you'll find the good ones come around more frequently, the bad ones much less so.

    I know I got really angry when I accepted my ex wasn't coming back (before he started these curious emails). But once I'd gotten over the anger I really turned a corner. I acknowledged that I wasn't the bad guy, I hadn't failed - only tried, just what I was attempting was beyond my control. Will he change his mind? Who knows. I know I can't make him. Will I change my mind about wanting to reconcile? Probably. Seems more and more likely every day. But what I've done since he left me is go out and push myself to be a better person, initially for him, latterly for me. I've realised there are so many things I want to do he wouldn't be interested in - for the first time ever I'm thinking of slinging a backpack over my shoulder, buying a rail ticket to europe and just seeing how I go. My ex is a 5* all the way, or you can forget it kind of guy. Maybe the route I'm treading will take me further away from him, but be damned if I'm sitting there waiting.

    It's the old cliche and I'm sure you'll want to poke me in the eye, but you need to focus on yourself now and build a better life for you in any which way you possibly can.

  5. #5
    BriarRose
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    I agree with Mellie that 4 years is too long to just forget you in a month. I am sure he thinks of you, even if he is dating someone.

  6. #6
    jbrooklyn
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    Well you guys were right. he texted me on Saturday night. He said...Just saying hi, Hope all is well.

    I didnt respond cause I was scared one. I didnt think it meant anything. I didnt know what to say. I really dont want to be friends. I still love him and I am not going to play myself. I think he needs to miss me more and do something better than a little text to get me to talk to him. If he just wants to know how I am doing....Im going to pass on responding. I dont want to get my feelings hurt. I hurt enough.

    I must admit, it did feel good to see his number on my phone. I was totally surprised. I do want him back but I dont think nothing has changed. He needs more time to think about our love we shared. He knows I love him so much. If he wants to be with me, a text wont get me to look back. I need more. So I going to keep moving forward and hope that he does something REAL to bring us back together. If he doesnt then I wont be getting involved again. I wont be contacting him until I have fully accepted our break up. Nothing more I can do.

    Your thoughts?

  7. #7
    coolchick64
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    You're doing the right thing. Just stay NC and see what else he comes up with. It's nice to know he's thinking about you, but he didn't give you any reason to respond.

  8. #8
    KiNo~
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    I believe you are here to heal and move on.

    Stay NC, thinking of whether he miss you or not etc will make you worse. (As for me, I was exactly in your situation and it haunted me for months. SO i decided to do something else, something that I haven't done or finished i past). Give yourself in for few weeks doing something you like or something unfinished, even you'll still miss him but the pain will be halved, I promise you that. Find something to do that will at least keep yourself from thinking or him totally.

    Finally, stay NC. Its one of the best of its kind. Remember, if you want to heal and move on, don't think of reconciliation. Be firm.

  9. #9
    jbrooklyn
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    Yes, I am working on it. I did get a text from him on Saturday but Im not impressed with a text. I did make me feel a little better but it wasnt something that made me want to text him back. He will have to come better than that to get my attention if you know what I mean.

    I have done everything I could to make things right for us and he did not meet me half way. He said he does not want a relationship and I cant give him friendship because I have too much love in my heart for him. At the same time, I dont want to put myself thru anymore heartache and pain so I am not going to let weakness and it little text pull me down more. Im hurting enough. So I will keep heading forward.

    Thanks for your input. Very good

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