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Thread: Differences between Southern and Northern Women

  1. #1
    Ms. Madame
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    Differences between Southern and Northern Women

    I am beginning to doubt this exact moment of Transitioning in to Standig out.
    Been in the south now for the past 3 years and the first 2.5 of these 3 was busy, busy, busy, getting on task, staying focused, and paying off the debt that followed me. So now I am pretty much in the clear and I am really having the hardest time understanding the concept of my peers, and my gender. The two relationships I have had-the first was a trainwreck and the 2nd was a complete Disaster/ True Story......lol

    So now I am trying to analyze if it's me or if it's them or if is the difference of tempermant...I don't have any friends here and it is so depressing because I am still a young woman. Drugs is fundemental down here and there are sooooo many folks that are users and abusers but are very successful in the public sector. /there is a university here in my area and the town pretty much caters to those students which is no longer a issue of mine. IT's just that I seek to find good, wholesome company other than that of my family and it's so not a go..... They seem to have a stigma about "Up North Chicks" that makes me livid. uuuurrrghhhhhh,,,,,and so now I question my online family....what are the major differences between the south and the north.
    I am ??? whether the change is mine to make or not...

  2. #2
    Catdancer

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    I live in the south, born and raised. It is the opinion of many southerners that Northerners are rude, impatient and just dont have the "southern hospitality" like we do. Not saying that is My opinion, just what I've heard over the years.

    But on the flip side...many people LOVE northerners.

    Just be yourself. I know it's hard, but who else can you be?

    And on a side note....I lived in a "college town" for 10 years. It got old. And so did I. lol I moved to a smaller town 30 minutes away and now I can talk to people my age.

  3. #3
    savignon
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    Northerns do have a reputation as being "in a hurry" and standoffish or asking "how are you?" but then they keep walking b/c it's really just like "Hi" and nobody waits for the answer. To a Southerner, they wonder "why would you ask how I am and then not listen to the answer?" Naturally that would be off-putting if you're accostomed to having a nice chat with people when they ask how you are.
    That's just an example of what I've heard towards northerners.
    My sister and friend both lived in the south after HS (following their military boyfriends) and they were struck by how NICE people could be, yet racist. It was like the two pieces don't go together. They'd be the nicest person you could ever talk to and then say the nastiest most judgemental thing they'd ever heard...with a smile! It was hard for them to reconcile the dual identity or decide that southerners were nice or hospitable.
    I would like to think that "people are people" and you'll meet your good, bad and ugly. Like making friends anywhere else (work, school, etc.), you might not click with the first people you set your eyes on. Friendships take time and energy. Perhaps while you spent the first two years down south, people regarded you as very busy without a lot of time to be friendly, suiting their perception of Northerners. So, while you're taking the time to regard what kind of people they are, they may have made some assumptions about you, too.
    The only way to break the cycle is for each party to start learning by real experience what the other person is like.
    There are things to appreciate about both "cultures" and nobody wants to hear what's negative about theirs...they want to hear what you like! So, if you like the food, talk about the food. If you like the music/dancing, talk about that. Start taking in the things you like (when I was down south I smiled when a traffic light turned green and the first person didn't go right away but nobody honked or jumped out of their car to beat them to death....kind of a nice change of pace, yes??)
    If it's not a lifestyle you think you can get used to, consider going back to a place where you felt like you better fit in. Nothing wrong with that either....as long as you can appreciate the differences instead of thinking that one trumps the other.

  4. #4
    Crazyaboutdogs
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    Suddenly the Beach Boys song comes to mind:

    Well east coast girls are hip
    I really dig those styles they wear
    And the southern girls with the way they talk
    They knock me out when Im down there

    The mid-west farmers daughters really make you feel alright
    And the northern girls with the way they kiss
    They keep their boyfriends warm at night

    I wish they all could be california
    I wish they all could be california
    I wish they all could be california girls

    The west coast has the sunshine
    And the girls all get so tanned
    I dig a french bikini on hawaii island
    Dolls by a palm tree in the sand

    I been all around this great big world
    And I seen all kinds of girls
    Yeah, but I couldnt wait to get back in the states
    Back to the cutest girls in the world

    I wish they all could be california
    I wish they all could be california
    I wish they all could be california girls

    But seriously...people should be looking at the whole character of a person, not just regional stereotypes. It sounds to me like perhaps you just haven't found people who have similar interests and character as you. Can you look outside the town you are in..is there a bigger city nearby which would have a wider variety of people?

  5. #5
    HeartGoesOn
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    No matter where you're from...you are who you are.

  6. #6
    Ms. Madame
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    It's not too much about which is better or worse it's more about being accepted and not having to deal with assumptions. They have pre-concived notions and it ticks me off. I now am the person walking on the street that says "hello" to those I make contact with and surprise surprise they IGNORE me!! So what do you say to that? I am the one dealing with the hate and animosity of being different and moving away is not the answer at the least bit-I have moved on. They stare me down at the stop light or in the grocery store and I smile and they frown and turn away. They only seem to start that "southern hospitality" BS when I frown. * * * ? Although I am thinking about moving to ATL which is further south but there is much money to be made down there and the people for MONEY on their mind...which I think is the major difference. It's ignorrant to judge a person based on how they walk and talk---point blank and it's not me that is making things this way it's the folks here.
    I love the peace and quiet, I love the clean fresh air, I love the fact that my daughter has quality education. So there are many things that I LOVE about the south but the people truly makes it harder than it has to be.
    I am an excellent cook and have mastered a few southern dishes but it does not stop there I also love West Indian, Spainish and Greek dishes as well...
    They'd be the nicest person you could ever talk to and then say the nastiest most judgemental thing they'd ever heard...with a smile! It was hard for them to reconcile the dual identity or decide that southerners were nice or hospitable.
    ***that right there is my Divine Discontent----why even take the time to waste breath on talking to someone you just don't fancy***Why put on a front when in the person's face but later talk crap about them???/ I can't for the life of me understand that concept or the motive behind such behavior.
    Savigon from the context of your reply I take it that you are a southerner because you conclude the same simple answer If it's not a lifestyle you think you can get used to, consider going back to a place where you felt like you better fit in. Nothing wrong with that either....as long as you can appreciate the differences instead of thinking that one trumps the other That is vaugue thinking IMO and why does it always have to be about Fitting In-It's a two way street
    Last edited by Ms. Madame; 08-26-2009 at 11:50 AM.

  7. #7
    Ms. Madame
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    Lol I love that song...never been to Cali either but they say it's a different world out there.
    Yes there is a bigger city near here and I tried moving there and although it's faster paced---It is still the country and the people there are at it's worst as far as backstabbing in concerened and IMO it's over rated.
    Although the other two major cities which is Charloette and Greensboro are both about 3-4 hours away. I been thinking about a weekend getaway to check out the atmosphere.

  8. #8
    Ms. Madame
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn [Register to see the link]
    No matter where you're from...you are who you are.
    And that's just the top layer....and only GOD can judge me so either Love me or Leave me alone......hehe
    I swear that is what I wanna tell em' HeartGoesOn but that might just bring me a charge. lol

  9. #9
    Miss Firecracker
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Madame [Register to see the link]
    I seek to find good, wholesome company other than that of my family and it's so not a go....
    Try Southern Baptist Church.

  10. 08-26-2009, 12:35 PM
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  11. 08-26-2009, 12:37 PM
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    refers to deleted post

  12. 08-26-2009, 12:50 PM
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    inappropriate

  13. #10
    Miss Firecracker
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    I've decided that no matter where you go, you will make friends if you are in the right state of mind to. And I don't believe for one minute that more Southerners are drug addicts. That's just not true. You are just meeting up with more for some reason.

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