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Thread: Asking a girl out while she is working, what not to do?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2008

    Asking a girl out while she is working, what not to do?

    I found that I see a girl I like and she is working whether at a counter, or as a waitress, or anywhere else really it makes it alot more difficult to ask her for a number or ask her out.

    Sometimes even if she is interested she cannot accept due to company regulations or what not.

    I saw a girl that I really liked right from the start, and have been there 3 times now. The first few times she did not notice me noticing her because well... she was working. The last time I was there I looked at her eyes and she noticed me looking at her (not too much but she kinda felt like I was into her a tiny bit it seemed) when I said thank you and left she gave me a cute look like she knew something was up with me.

    I plan on going back there and usually there is noone in this store, I will finish up the business and ask her what her name is. Then I will say there is one more thing I need to ask before I leave... I want to ask you for your phone number because I would like to ask you out.

    I figure that there are only 3 ways this can end up.

    1. She smiles and gives her number, and I ask when is a good time to call you.

    2. She says she can't while she is working because the company doesn't allow relations with customers or something.

    3. She is not interested and does not want to give me her number and makes an excuse like in situation 2.

    If she says she can't cause of her job then I can ask:

    If I ask you for your number outside work would I get a different answer?

    Then one of three answers will come out. Yes, No, Maybe. If she doesn't say no then I will smile and leave. I will come back another time and ask her what time she is off and somehow meet her and ask her out.

    I think she likes me to a bit, and I am confident she might just give me her number if I ask properly.

    Anyone have some ideas? This seems like a logical and sensible plan to me, but I have been wrong before.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Give her your number. If she's curious about you she will call.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    tough approach - i know, i work in the service industry, and many of my female co-workers get asked out or asked for their numbers a lot. Let me tell you, the odds are against you getting that number. Not only does the girl feel a bit 'trapped' because as a waitress, she's supposed to be nice to you, not because she likes you, she may even find you annoying and a crappy customer, but because that's her job - customer service. So that's strike one against you. The other big thing is that she's *working*, meaning her employer is paying her money from the minute she clocked in, to the minute she clocks out - and therefore it's not 'social hour' for her - her employer isn't going to be thrilled that the waitresses are using their workplace to meet guys. That's strike two. And the last strike: You aren't the first, and won't be the last guy to do this to her - she's probably been asked many times before, and so her gut instinct will be to turn you down - and once that happens, it's really tough to try again, because then you'll come off as stalkerish, and too persistent.

    I would go with waveseer's recommendation - hand her a business card, or write your number on the merchant copy of the receipt.

  4. #4
    Just Me85
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Hmmm...This ones a toughie!

    I am a barmaid myself so hopefully I can tell you how it is from our side. Yes the previous poster was right about not being the first guy to do this, it does happen quite a lot, although particularly on the less busy evenings, its like they suddenly notice the staff because there are no hot chick customers hehe.

    On the other hand, Im going on a date next week with a guy who approached me at work. Ive never done that before, but at the same time this man was very sweet and polite and a little shy/stuttery and I kinda just melted a little bit when he asked. Plus he was very very cute. I actually said no at first but then after a while I changed my mind and went over and tucked my number in his pocket (funnily enough after my manager encouraged me to do so!). However where I work its more like a big family and the managers treat us as equals, it adds to the ambience of the place, so I guess it depends.

    My suggestion would be, if you think shes a cutie, wait until she serves you and when she asks if theres anything else at all just stay really calm and ask her if she would like to take your number, or vice versa.

    The trick is to offer your number first, I think people can feel a bit funny about handing their number out to strangers, especially if they are maybe not interested. That way theres no pressure, if shes interested she will call, or even better she might give you her number which means shes definitely interested! If she cant because of work she will say so, if thats the case just smile and say "Okay no problem, was nice to meet you ".

    That way if you ever bump into her outside work you have introduced yourself already and you can say "Hey". I wouldnt go asking when she finishes work or hanging around for her because that could come accross a bit stalkerish/clingy.

    Anyways long story short, when this guy asked me I was so suprised and it put a smile on my face all evening Even if shes not interested, all girls secretly like being asked out its a confidence boost!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2008


    She is not a waitress, she works behind a counter dealing with money. I am not sure what to do, If she cant give me her nuber I will slip her a business card then.

  6. #6
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    I get this at times too. Rather sadly a lot of my interactions are with front-line service workers (i.e. waitresses, sales, cashiers, receptionists, etc.) and I'm very aware it's their job to be nice, smile and what not so it's long way between thinking you're a polite person/customer and actual interest. Nevertheless I'll still use it as conversation practice, and still get flags up if she says anything in particular or not - just that it'll take a lot to convince me it's real interest.

    I had a co-worker (very big company so none of the usual concerns) who did a lot of frontline duties act very very nicely towards me; eventually asked her out and said she had a boyfriend or whatever else. Recently on a Sunday arvo I was talking to a pretty saleswoman helping me with shoes and during one of the idle chats (it was quiet end of the day) while waiting for another assistant to get other sizes to try one of her questions was "so what are you doing after this?" - she already had something on her ring finger.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Ya well I will just go there and ask her for her damn number, because I want to ask her out. I will be able to find out whats up with her by her answer. If she says she can't cause of work than I will give her my phone number and thats that, no big deal I figure. If she calls great if not Ill go back there as business as usual and maybe she might slip me her number later on, maybe not... who knows. There is no other way to ask besides when she is working so how the hell would I ask her out in another situation... when she is not working? I can't.

    Thx for your help.

  8. #8
    Bronze Member SunniDee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    There's always the possibility of option 4: she already has a boyfriend. Be prepared for that one too.


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