Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Asking a girl out while she is working, what not to do?

  1. #1
    loveseeker23
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    3

    Asking a girl out while she is working, what not to do?

    I found that I see a girl I like and she is working whether at a counter, or as a waitress, or anywhere else really it makes it alot more difficult to ask her for a number or ask her out.

    Sometimes even if she is interested she cannot accept due to company regulations or what not.

    I saw a girl that I really liked right from the start, and have been there 3 times now. The first few times she did not notice me noticing her because well... she was working. The last time I was there I looked at her eyes and she noticed me looking at her (not too much but she kinda felt like I was into her a tiny bit it seemed) when I said thank you and left she gave me a cute look like she knew something was up with me.

    I plan on going back there and usually there is noone in this store, I will finish up the business and ask her what her name is. Then I will say there is one more thing I need to ask before I leave... I want to ask you for your phone number because I would like to ask you out.

    I figure that there are only 3 ways this can end up.

    1. She smiles and gives her number, and I ask when is a good time to call you.

    2. She says she can't while she is working because the company doesn't allow relations with customers or something.

    3. She is not interested and does not want to give me her number and makes an excuse like in situation 2.

    If she says she can't cause of her job then I can ask:

    If I ask you for your number outside work would I get a different answer?

    Then one of three answers will come out. Yes, No, Maybe. If she doesn't say no then I will smile and leave. I will come back another time and ask her what time she is off and somehow meet her and ask her out.

    I think she likes me to a bit, and I am confident she might just give me her number if I ask properly.

    Anyone have some ideas? This seems like a logical and sensible plan to me, but I have been wrong before.

  2. #2
    waveseer
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    11,826
    Thanked
    1
    Give her your number. If she's curious about you she will call.

  3. #3
    orangesoda
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,096
    tough approach - i know, i work in the service industry, and many of my female co-workers get asked out or asked for their numbers a lot. Let me tell you, the odds are against you getting that number. Not only does the girl feel a bit 'trapped' because as a waitress, she's supposed to be nice to you, not because she likes you, she may even find you annoying and a crappy customer, but because that's her job - customer service. So that's strike one against you. The other big thing is that she's *working*, meaning her employer is paying her money from the minute she clocked in, to the minute she clocks out - and therefore it's not 'social hour' for her - her employer isn't going to be thrilled that the waitresses are using their workplace to meet guys. That's strike two. And the last strike: You aren't the first, and won't be the last guy to do this to her - she's probably been asked many times before, and so her gut instinct will be to turn you down - and once that happens, it's really tough to try again, because then you'll come off as stalkerish, and too persistent.

    I would go with waveseer's recommendation - hand her a business card, or write your number on the merchant copy of the receipt.

  4. #4
    Just Me85
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    380
    Gender
    Female
    Hmmm...This ones a toughie!

    I am a barmaid myself so hopefully I can tell you how it is from our side. Yes the previous poster was right about not being the first guy to do this, it does happen quite a lot, although particularly on the less busy evenings, its like they suddenly notice the staff because there are no hot chick customers hehe.

    On the other hand, Im going on a date next week with a guy who approached me at work. Ive never done that before, but at the same time this man was very sweet and polite and a little shy/stuttery and I kinda just melted a little bit when he asked. Plus he was very very cute. I actually said no at first but then after a while I changed my mind and went over and tucked my number in his pocket (funnily enough after my manager encouraged me to do so!). However where I work its more like a big family and the managers treat us as equals, it adds to the ambience of the place, so I guess it depends.

    My suggestion would be, if you think shes a cutie, wait until she serves you and when she asks if theres anything else at all just stay really calm and ask her if she would like to take your number, or vice versa.

    The trick is to offer your number first, I think people can feel a bit funny about handing their number out to strangers, especially if they are maybe not interested. That way theres no pressure, if shes interested she will call, or even better she might give you her number which means shes definitely interested! If she cant because of work she will say so, if thats the case just smile and say "Okay no problem, was nice to meet you ".

    That way if you ever bump into her outside work you have introduced yourself already and you can say "Hey". I wouldnt go asking when she finishes work or hanging around for her because that could come accross a bit stalkerish/clingy.

    Anyways long story short, when this guy asked me I was so suprised and it put a smile on my face all evening Even if shes not interested, all girls secretly like being asked out its a confidence boost!

  5. #5
    loveseeker23
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    3

    ...

    She is not a waitress, she works behind a counter dealing with money. I am not sure what to do, If she cant give me her nuber I will slip her a business card then.

  6. #6
    dr_styles
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Aus
    Posts
    1,878
    Gender
    Male
    I get this at times too. Rather sadly a lot of my interactions are with front-line service workers (i.e. waitresses, sales, cashiers, receptionists, etc.) and I'm very aware it's their job to be nice, smile and what not so it's long way between thinking you're a polite person/customer and actual interest. Nevertheless I'll still use it as conversation practice, and still get flags up if she says anything in particular or not - just that it'll take a lot to convince me it's real interest.

    I had a co-worker (very big company so none of the usual concerns) who did a lot of frontline duties act very very nicely towards me; eventually asked her out and said she had a boyfriend or whatever else. Recently on a Sunday arvo I was talking to a pretty saleswoman helping me with shoes and during one of the idle chats (it was quiet end of the day) while waiting for another assistant to get other sizes to try one of her questions was "so what are you doing after this?" - she already had something on her ring finger.

  7. #7
    loveseeker23
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    3
    Ya well I will just go there and ask her for her damn number, because I want to ask her out. I will be able to find out whats up with her by her answer. If she says she can't cause of work than I will give her my phone number and thats that, no big deal I figure. If she calls great if not Ill go back there as business as usual and maybe she might slip me her number later on, maybe not... who knows. There is no other way to ask besides when she is working so how the hell would I ask her out in another situation... when she is not working? I can't.

    Thx for your help.

  8. #8
    SunniDee
    Bronze Member SunniDee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    199
    There's always the possibility of option 4: she already has a boyfriend. Be prepared for that one too.

  9.  

Top Threads
I don't want to lose her, but I said foolish crap.
We've been dating for a month and a half...been on 5 dates...have done everything except have sex. Talk on the phone 6 hours a night...every night
Can guys really be non texters?
I've been bad w/spotting one sided relationships, so I want a guy who is actually interested in me. I went to an event I go every year, I knew I
Maybe losing the best love I've ever had?
Hi everyone, this is my first post, and I'm kind of struggling to get all my thoughts together, so I guess I'll just start. I'm 21, and my boyfriend
Still hung up on an abusive ex
I posted a while ago, about having had 2 great dates with this guy..and then the 3rd one kept getting postponed..2 different reasons, then he got
Fed up of paying for boyfriend
I need advice please,. Iv been with my boyfriend two years the first year and half was great and it still is except for one problem , I'm fed up of
Good lord, I feel SO stupid. Again. How should I handle this
So I was dating someone about a year ago. We dated for three months. He was the one driving the relationship...calling me his girlfriend, making
3 year anniversary or family trip :S
So me and my grandfather have been planning a trip for a few years now, each year we plan to go and the last two years I cancelled because of gf's

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Is he still in love with his EX?
I met this great guy at work (last November), he just got out of a painful breakup (last September) during that time he kept communicating with his
Can't get over girlfriends past
I've been dating this girl for about 5 months and its going great. The only issue is that I can't get over her sexual history. There are several
I dont like my girlfriends new piercing
So my girlfriend went and got nipple piercings knowing that i didnt like them and didnt tell me she was gonna get them. They are a really big turn
What I am to her ?
hey guys I want some counseling .. I met a girl online .. At first she said that she doesn't wanna fall for me and we will be just friends .. I said
I want my family back
Hi, I was dumped on New Years Eve by my ex girlfriend of 8 years whom I have a 6 year old with. We have been arguing for the past few months prior to
Anxious and depressed about being 32 yo and not married
I could really use some kind and encouraging words right now because I wake up every morning to an intense feeling of pain because I am alone. I'm 32
Ex (dumper) delays giving keys back. Why?
First time poster. Been viewing threads somewhat regularly for a few months now and figured I'd get a few opinions. I'll give a little of the
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •