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Thread: "Always the bridesmaid".

  1. #1
    Gold Member ay0_x's Avatar
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    "Always the bridesmaid".

    I've been thinking I'm going into total "always the bridesmaid, never the bride" territory.

    I consider myself a really sweet person to my friends. I love giving advice especially when it comes to relationships...

    Past week 2 of my male friends have found girls they like. They've been all "OMG SHE SENT ME A MESSAGE IT SAYS _______________________, WHAT DO I SAY BACK TO HER?".

    & I've been giving them advice as well as proof-reading their responses (yes, I'm serious) and trying to maximize their chances. I'm really happy for them; i love these guys.

    But because of my recent break up I'm feeling really lonely. I feel like I'll always be the girl taking care of other people & is never taken care of. All my friends call me Mom. At the same time I wish all girls could be so close to their guy friends, so that each guy would be a total Romeo, and girls wouldn't feel like guys are "justn ot that into them", when, in reality, guys are pretty clueless sometimes.

    I don't even know what this post is about. I'm really upset. My ex did all the things a perfect guy should have done: introduced me to his family, had me as his cellphone's wallpaper, gave me little gifts, sang to me, always complimented me... and he ended up breaking my heart.

    I feel like I'm never gonna have my turn at real love.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    How old are you ay0_x?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member petite's Avatar
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    I understand how you feel completely. Personally I think after we do get over our ex's then things will be different, and all in all we will be happier people.

    Before my ex, I always thought that I would never find anyone that loves me completely inside and out, and that equally cares for me. Then he came into my life and I realized that I do want to have a husband in the future, a family of my own and I really thought he was the one. Even now I am in that mind frame. Eventually, I know it will all change and who knows I might meet someone nice in 1 year or 5. You really never know what life brings your way.

    Like your ex, mine also broke my heart, but we need lots and lots of time before we start feeling better. It takes it's toll on you I know, but somehow you just got to keep your spirits up.

    Now, if only I would take my own advice.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Nixee's Avatar
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    Its funny.... I was just watching '27 Dresses' last night on TV as I was feeling all girly.....

    You just need time ay0.... give yourself that. It hasn't been long since your breakup, and things will change for you. It is ok to want things for yourself too, but it is great that you are such a good friend... really great.

    I've had times in my life as well where I've kicked myself for being the "doormat" who never says no. I had to learn to be more assertive with friends. As a result I became stronger and more independent. Of course I'm still waiting on Prince Charming I guess, but I've had my ups and downs. That is just life.

    So give yourself time... be happy that you have friends - a support system, and that you can also be there to support them. If supporting them feels like too much for you though, don't be afraid to tell them that you need some you-time. You ARE healing after all, and that is important. Things will change eventually, I promise.

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  6. #5
    Gold Member Kumatora's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Capricorn3
    How old are you ay0_x?
    According to one of her threads, she's entering college. She's pretty young.

    Also, "always the bridemaid and never the bride" saying only occurs when most of your friends are married and you're still a bachelorette. Just so you know.

    After reading a lot of your threads from this fourm, I can see you're still trying to recover from a break up and you're meeting people in the wrong places (setting up a LDR with someone who is not dedicated to work on the relationship). Give it time. Since college is coming I guarantee you'll meet new people.

    I'm not trying to be harsh with this one, but I suggest not getting too involved with your friends' relationship problems since it's causing you to become depressed. It's good to give simple small advice, but there's a point in time where your friends need to figure out their own relationship problems and work it out with their SO without getting a third party involved. For the time being, focus on YOU and working out your own issues instead of other people's relationships and you won't be so depressed.

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    Platinum Member BriarRose's Avatar
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    You sound like a warm and wonderful person...you will draw love into your life again...

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    Gold Member Kumatora's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Misskitty16
    You sound like a warm and wonderful person...you will draw love into your life again...
    I agree. She just needs to find the right places to meet people and try to resolve her own issues (like learning to be happy with herself a little bit).

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Hope75's Avatar
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    Not sure how old you are, but I was 'always the bridesmaid' (literally) until I got married at 32. There are advantages to waiting to get married until you are older and more experienced. I don't regret waiting, even though when I was younger I thought for sure I would be married with kids by the time I was 30.

  10. #9
    Gold Member ay0_x's Avatar
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    I'm 18. Most of my girlfriends are engaged at the moment, it's a cultural thing for them to get married quickly.

    Thanks for the advice guys. I guess last night was just one of the effects of my break-up. One of my ex's (not the most recent one) likes me.. He called me and I had a little rant. He begged me to be with him but I said no; I'm not ready to be with anyone right now, I told him I didn't want to overburden him with my craziness, and besides, he's hurt me before.

    He said he didn't care and that he could handle the craziness but I still refused. I really am not ready to be with anyone.

    I felt better.. my self esteem is utter crap at the moment. I keep randomly meeting guys, and we end up having really good chemistry & we'll have really good, indepth conversations. But they suddenly disappear? It's really, really confusing. Like they stop texting or calling. Yikes. x_x

  11. #10

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    Hey your 18, Bloody hell Dont worry about marriage yet! In 5 years time i gurentee that most of your friends will have divorced. Its a new trend to marry young but does anyone in teh 18-24 age bracket really want to be tied down. No!

    I'd say the guys stop texting you because by the sounds of it you are physically attractive, they might not think you are genuinely interetsed in them, just trying to get into their wallets. Im afraid to say thats how I see it whenever a stunner shows any interst in me. Im very, very suspicious.

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