Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: I dont like my wife anymore,but I still love her

  1. #1
    salyt32
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    oklahoma
    Age
    39
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Male

    I dont like my wife anymore,but I still love her

    I dont know what to do about my bad deal here. My wife is not a bad person. But I dont like who she is I dont like much about her at all, We have ben married for 7 years. I feel like I want out, she is no longer atracdtive to me I feel like she always has a problem or is always sick or always has an issue. I tried to get a divorce. she gets mad at me a lot for going hunting and fishing all the time. she is from another state. aand she goese there about 4 to 5 times a year. But I pay for it. She dont have a job and dont want one. she gets mad when I dont take off work and go with her. but we cant afford for me to take off and I dont like her family they are all criminals and filthy mouthed crazys. a few weeks ago we agreed it was over. we still lived together because she dont have money to go any where and I am in the prosess of buying a house. anyway I started talking to antother girl and went fishing with her once. I never had sex or even kissed her. My wife went out to my work truck and got into my phone and seen that I was texting her, She then came in and threw a huge fit, I understand kinda, but she agreed that it was over and I ment it. she now dosent want to split up, I dont know what to do I feel traped and I hate my life, I also told her this. What do I do? am I just a huge piece of crap?

  2. #2
    doityourself
    Gold Member doityourself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    1,065
    Gender
    Female
    I would keep the relationships outside of this one closed until you have a chance to finish this one off.

    I dont know what kind of advice to give, it seems like she has a case of I dont want you but I dont want anyone else to either. You've been married a long time, Is there any chance of reconcilation?

  3. #3
    summersweet
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    23
    Gender
    Female
    Stop being so down on yourself. You sound like a good guy.
    Why don't you like her? She's sick? Remember sickness and in health?
    Is she being abusive toward you? Maybe she's depressed?
    There are many reasons she could be acting this way. Maybe you could put your foot down and give her a time to gain employment. I'm sure if she's working she'll have more self esteem and become the person you married again.

  4. #4
    Car Chick

    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Age
    27
    Posts
    909
    Gender
    Female
    <>, your wife is having health problems (in sickness and health is a part of marriage vows) and your cheating on her (cheating is just about sex). Not to mention that apparently you think that a person's worth is only in their looks. I really hope that you reconsider wether the things you are complaining about really matter.

    I would suggest going to therapy. You should at least try to save your marriage rather than just throwing it away because she's sick and "not pretty enough" for you and is unfortunate enough to have a bad family and ethical enough to love her family for being her family rather than judging them.
    Last edited by DN; 08-12-2009 at 03:31 PM. Reason: off-topic comment

  5. #5
    PsychGirly
    Platinum Member PsychGirly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    LOS ANGELES
    Age
    28
    Posts
    2,252
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    I don't think you love her. I think you've fallen out of love, but you're so attached to her & used to her presence that you're afraid to leave her.

  6. #6
    savignon
    Platinum Member savignon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    USA
    Age
    40
    Posts
    6,094
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    4
    Well, it's not fair to make your wife your enemy if you're unhappy with your life. Obviously you're not happy if you're looking to another girl for friendship or whatever. I certainly wouldn't like it if my husband did that and yet didn't have the energy or desire to work on our marriage.
    If you don't love her and you don't want to work this out, get a divorce. Ask friends and family for a place to stay and leave. There's no reason you would be "trying" to get a divorce and failing unless you want the relationship.

  7. #7
    salyt32
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    oklahoma
    Age
    39
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Male
    Thank you for your in put. sorry about the grammar, I am no enlish major. I am a little shocked that you think of me that way I have given this relationship a lot of time and we have gone through a lot of crazy things. I never cheated on her while we were in good standings. that is the only time that I ever had anything to do with anyone else. But its good to see how others veiw my veiw. I am so lost I Dont tknow how to function. I am very rierd of all the difrent struggles, She was on and off drugs for our first few years i think she is finally drug free she admited to me one time of drug use in the last 3 years. I know that she is depressed but so am I we are both in our mid 30s and I feel like my life is sliping away. to only be waisted on unhappyness. I f I am way out of line I understand, I understand better or worse, But I feel so unhappy I just want out, How do i change my feelings about this. How do I change my feelings about her. I cant even stand for her to touch me anymore. I wish I didnt feel this way.

  8. #8
    peechka
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    21
    Did you guys ever sit down and discuss things? Did you ever tell her why you are unhappy and why she is unhappy?

  9. #9
    salyt32
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    oklahoma
    Age
    39
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Male
    I wish I didnt feel so bad about this the reason for the other girl I think was to make this easy on me but it didnt do that. this is not my first failed relationship, I am also a little afraid of loosing my belongings, I must really be a crap face this even sounds bad to me when I write it out..

  10. #10
    salyt32
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    oklahoma
    Age
    39
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Male
    yes we have talked and we never seem to get anywhere. I am very bad at that kind of stuff, I told her that I would try to go to counseling and she agreed to find one but its ben a week and she still hasnt found one.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
How should separation be handled if you want to try fixing the marriage?
To me, the only valuable thing I can see out of a separation is as kind of a "Are you sure you want to do this?" confirmation button on a divorce. To
Dealing with her..
In my recent post, I told my story about me and my wife splitting up, and me try my hardest to fix it. I did not want to get off topic. How do I
Attraction Deficiency?
When a woman loses her attraction to a man, what specifically drives the loss? Physical? Emotional? Why do women lose their attraction for a man
Wife changed her name back to maiden.
Again, I am doing everything possible to fix our marriage. I just found out she changed her name back to her maiden name on Facebook. What
Divorce
Hello people, My wife and i have been married for 4 years and known each other for 6. Were an older couple and have just each other and a dog name
Now Ex-Wife rewriting the past or just finally letting out the truth?
I would like to hear thoughts from anyone who has experienced their SO or themselves rewriting the past at the end of a relationship. I feel my
Featured Threads
Parent and relationships problems
So clearly i need help sooo i will get right into the story.....sorry its so long I am a 25 year old male who is in a relationship with my 19
My boyfriend is trying to date other woman on online dating site.
I really need help. I am so confused. My boyfriend is on online dating site. He said he wants to date other women. We were on and off relationship
My wife left me without having even a talk
Hi everybody, I wonder if this is normal just to leave a marriage of 7 years without having a proper talk before moving on? It happened to me that
Confused about FWB
Last weekend my FWB and I made plans to meet up. He drove down from his place to go to a party with friends, afterwards he was coming to spend the
Everything is just JUMBLED
I have an extremely, EXTREMELY screwed up life. At least from my point of view it is. At least I think I'm the only one that knows my own
Getting over someone to be with them again later?
Long story short, my ex broke up with me after 4 years because he said he was immature and needed to grow up without me and part of that was meeting
Need Advice - it's urgent for me
Hello Everyone, I meesed up my life and I take full responsibilty. I ned advice and what to do to remedy the situation immediately and prevent it
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •