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Thread: How to Date a Shy Person

  1. #1
    wolfykun

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    Smile How to Date a Shy Person

    Interacting with a shy person may seem hard and may make other non-shy people wonder if theyíll be able to carry on a conversation with them. It can be hard to get to know a shy person, even their feelings and intentions regarding dating and relationships. They may be even be too leery when it comes to dating. It takes a lot of patience and understanding to help you date and get to know a shy person. You have to help him out of their shell in order for you know him well enough to have a comfortable and fulfilling relationship. Here are some ideas and tips on how to do just that.

    * Get to know them as a friend. Show interest in learning more about them and gauge their willingness to open up when determining the direction of your relationship.
    Talk to him when youíre alone rather than surrounded by people, since being in a crowd may intimidate them. Make them comfortable with you as a friend, with no pressure or insinuation of anything else. Remember to listen very well when they are speaking.

    * Show them that you can be trusted. Tell them about yourself. Since youíre divulging a few of your secrets, you are showing them that you can be trusted. Remember to keep whatever they tells you a secret. If you break their trust, they may never trust you again.

    * Ask questions about things they seem to be interested in. It is often most easy and comfortable for a shy person to discuss things they are passionate about. Let him participate at his own pace and try not to force him to open up to you too soon.

    * Go on dates where there will be just the two of you. Donít create pressure by making it formal. Just say that youíd love to spend time with them. Choose dates where you wonít have to talk much. Going to a movie where you wonít have to talk much will help him ease into the relationship rather than being in a long, silent dinner.

    * Be reliable and trustworthy. These are important traits for her to accept your friendship and if she is to consider a romantic relationship with you.

    Remember: Do not ask them why they are so shy. This makes a shy person uncomfortable and wonít help you to draw him out of his shell for you to know him better.

  2. #2
    Diablo7000
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    what happens when the guys extremely shy, like to shy to even approach her? Cause I need help, got anything for that =D

  3. #3
    Organs
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfykun [Register to see the link]
    * Go on dates where there will be just the two of you. Donít create pressure by making it formal. Just say that youíd love to spend time with them. Choose dates where you wonít have to talk much. Going to a movie where you wonít have to talk much will help him ease into the relationship rather than being in a long, silent dinner.
    I don't know about this one. The movies are only a good idea for a date if you and your date have a strong enough bond where you're either already a couple or have already spoken to each other enough where you both feel like you know each other really well.

  4. #4
    WomanWriter
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    I consider myself a shy person (at first...then I'm talkative). I also tend to like other shy people, and it can be a real drag sitting there blushing and not saying anything.

    Fairs, movies, and arcades seem like very low-key, fun dates that easily break the tension. I think it would be a good idea to go to the movie or event FIRST so you can relax and loosen up, and then go out to eat AFTER so you can talk about whatever it was you were doing.

    I know movies are not good for talking, but when you're shy, you often have to get comfortable with the person being there before you can begin to warm up. I get extremely shy and quiet and feel like I'm on a job interview when I feel like I'm being evaluated. But after that, I'm usually really friendly and know how to have a good time.

    Any kind of event (sports, ice skating, movies) where you will have some common event to stimulate the conversation sounds like a good idea. Because just sitting there at the table with a practical stranger sounds worse than going to the dentist.

    Actually, I have a date next week...we are supposed to meet for coffee, but I think I'll ask if he rather do something more active or enagaging instead. I'll talk a lot, but I need to be warmed up.

  5. #5
    iwishiknew
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    I'm still single. I'm not a shy person at all. I can approach any girl and ask her out but never had a date yet. It is always some lame excuse not wanting to go out with me just because I'm different.

  6. #6
    Diablo7000
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwishiknew [Register to see the link]
    I'm still single. I'm not a shy person at all. I can approach any girl and ask her out but never had a date yet. It is always some lame excuse not wanting to go out with me just because I'm different.
    Dido, I'd rather be told no then to have a lying bullcrap statement of oh I have a bf or I can't cause I'm busy, grow up, it's a simple yes or no question quit wasting my time lol

  7. #7
    CaseOfInsanity
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diablo7000 [Register to see the link]
    Dido, I'd rather be told no then to have a lying bullcrap statement of oh I have a bf or I can't cause I'm busy, grow up, it's a simple yes or no question quit wasting my time lol
    Since it's like an universal response from women, I don't think it's realistic to expect them to react differently.

    If a girl says she has a bf, you could say he can cook us dinner.

  8. #8
    strategos
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    Quote Originally Posted by Organs [Register to see the link]
    I don't know about this one. The movies are only a good idea for a date if you and your date have a strong enough bond where you're either already a couple or have already spoken to each other enough where you both feel like you know each other really well.
    I agree. A movie is so stereotypically a "date" thing you only do it if you are a couple. But I would not recommend doing this in the beginning. Too much pressure to do too much at once. That is not a recipe for success.

  9. #9
    captaindeadman
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    talking in a group is way easier than talking 1 on 1...at least for me anyway

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