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Thread: 25 and Never Had a Girlfriend

  1. #11
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    From what you've written, it seems that you're trying to find women from nightclubs, but logic tells me it's not really the best place to find the love of your life. Also, you've done really well for the past three years - you set goals and fulfilled most of them, you've done more in three years that many people take a decade to complete. What I'm trying to say is, that you shouldn't lose faith in yourself and the world (25 is not really old, is it?) and just move on, somewhere along the way you most likely WILL meet HER. In other words, i think you should just chill out about it and stop frantically trying to get a girlfriend and maybe observe how other people's relationships have developed.
    One more thing: the pickup artist I think is not really about finding love but rather about just scoring with women, i might be mistaken though. Getting Ready for a First Date
    Last edited by number58; 08-07-2009 at 07:08 PM.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by number58
    One more thing: the pickup artist I think is not really about finding love but rather about just scoring with women, i might be mistaken though.
    It can be about either. I've said this on these forums before: it's about enabling men to put their best foot forward when meeting women. It's about understanding how to talk to them, how their mind works. This can be used to find a wife or a one night stand, but ultimately, it's still just about helping guys get what they want out of life.

  3. #13
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    And if you can't even get a date, it at least opens the door though here's he's kind of already done that with the numbers. *sigh* yet still not enough with all that other stuff he's put in.

  4. #14
    Silver Member MD Geist's Avatar
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    I have never had a girlfriend, never kissed a woman or been on an actual date and 23 years old your better off than me. I wish I could feel what a kiss feels like or how it feels to cuddle and such.

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  6. #15
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    25 is young. perhaps you need a break. don't try for a while. maybe it comes to you when you're not looking.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member SnowFox's Avatar
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    to the OP- if you make a decent salary, why not consider hiring a dating coach. You can google search the phrase and you will find a bunch out there. Most of them have websites so you can read about their background etc. These folks typically do the coaching via phone and email, but if you can find one in your city, some of them will do in-person meetings where they will observe you on a date and then give you feedback. Many of them will do a free initial phone consult so you can decide if you feel comfortable talking to them.

    If you've got the rest of your life together and this is an important goal for you, it might be worth investing some $$$ to figure out what is holding you back. It sounds like there is something going on that you are not aware of - a good dating coach should be able to help you figure out what this is and then give you tools to get past it.

    Good luck!

  8. #17

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    You are the typical nice guy. You have got everything going for you and would make a much better partner than these bad boys that seem to get women. By the sounds of it you are a much better catch than most guys and It's pretty much the womans loss.

    Just dont accept any unnessecery demands from a woman, and act like you dont care if she dates you or not. Im a bit younger than you but this is what experience tells me. Women are cruel thats one lesson I have learned. I have been burned numerous times and it hurts, dont give her anything or do anything nice for her until you REALLY trust her.

  9. #18
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    That's all well and good to think or know you are, but it doesn't do much to change the situation (I for one am getting a little tired of the tactics where I convince myself nothing is not-right). And we're talking mid-20s, it's not just bad-boys getting dates anymore (it might be true at nightclubs but not elsewhere)

  10. #19
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    I guess i have some insight from my personal experiences. I think you did all of this to really get away from your problems. Ive had a really harsh life and to me i just thought if i made things in my life better, overall my life would be better. Its just you cant keep avoiding problems by making things around you better. I tried to be the best person i could be and i soon realized that i wasnt being who i really was. I was being someone that i thought everyone would want me to be. I can also relate to having actually had some pretty good experiences with woman being attracted to me but it wasnt enough for me because i never got what i wanted. I also wonder if the real problems your having are things you didnt talk about because you usually end up having things that are unconscious be the real problem.

    I think having issues with depression it can make things seem completely bad. I consider it like a black hole being able to suck everything into it and pretty much destroy it. I also think you are focusing too much on the outside perception of things. Alot of people that are successful can find it kinda empty in reality. Its all about how good things make you feel personally. I think people just want results but in the end they dont take everything into account. I think you might want to try to take some time to figure out what is really important to you. I think if you can see the good things you have already done and use those as tools to work on more whats going on inside of you then you will hopefully end up better then you might even think.

    I know the struggles and battles of depression so it might not be something you can deal with and not have really bad times. So I cant say for sure what your time dealing with this will be like but just try to not get too discouraged. I also believe that like attracts like so if you can see what you liked and dont like about people then you can work on that. I dont know the exact reasons why things didnt work out and sometimes thats the hardest thing because your doing pretty much everything you could up to this point and things still turned out in a way you werent expecting.

    I guess i dont really know much about your past to see how it made you the person you are today. I would try to see how my past effected me and hopefully try to correct anything that could continue causing you problems. I really wonder what you might found out about yourself and hopefully those changes will end up working out for the better. Its just along the way things will happen that can really complicate things and really push you to your limits.

  11. #20
    Member Aeriwynn's Avatar
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    Hi

    Hmm... you seem pretty successful and such, and since some girls say you're hot or w/e it probably means you're quite attractive as well. So you've got independence/security and attractiveness down already....... which apparently means the only thing left that may be hurting you is your personality. If it's not, I don't really know why you can't find anyone.

    Where do you usually meet these girls? Think about what you had in common with each girl.. think about what they liked about you. I'm not sure but... I also think most girls don't like guys who seem desperate.. and you seem to come off as desperate (but of course its cause thats what your post is about lol.. but do you come off that way irl as well?) I think if girls could sense how desperate you are, that may scare them off... and also not respect you as much since it seems like you'd go out with ANY girl as long as they said yes. But yeah..... if you're successful and attractive the only Reason I could think of that girls may not like you is because of your personality.

    I think you just need to find someone that has stuff in common with you, like similar core values/goals, similar outlook on life, or similar favorite hobbies/activities... it could help you become closer. Maybe try joining and participating in some club/activity that You enjoy. Then you could meet some people that are similar to you and if you don't, you're still doing it for yourself!

    umm Pluuus I think most girls like guys who seem confident and comfortable with themselves. So just try to be happy with yourself and all your accomplishments for now.. just do what you like and have fun, don't have to try so hard to Get someone. You may by chance meet someone who gets along with you well just by doing what you enjoy and they'll also be drawn to your confidence. -.- I guess what I'm trying to get at... is it's probably because of your personality and how you come off and you may not notice it yourself. But maybe the girls you knew so far didn't connect with you well... maybe they didn't feel like they had much in common with you and was looking for something different in a guy that you didn't have.

    Girls want to feel special, not like they could be Any girl that you just happen to pick up because they were an attainable target. So have more confidence in yourself and don't act so desperate ;o.... just be comfortable with yourself and girls may be drawn to you.
    Last edited by Aeriwynn; 11-24-2009 at 12:58 AM.

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