Well ok hello guys(and girls), i was lately very depressed my self, i couldnt recognize the reason but i now i think i know what it is..
I always had a balance psychologically, up until now at least, but that was destroyed a few days ago when i watched a film that brought up feelings that i never even knew that there were there, i am a lonely person and most of out of choice, i dont think i look so bad, i never had anyone tell me that iam ugly or something, personally i think iam somewhat above the average but obviously that must not be true otherwise things with girls could have been much easier , if i was aiming lower then i would have had loads of girls up until now, but i just CANT do anything ,i mean sexually or erotically , if iam not attracted by the girl, really iam that type of guy and thats obviously bad for a beginning.
I dont know what iam doing wrong really, maybe i dont have patience , or iam too egoistic , but i ve never had an attempt on a girl that i liked, work out smoothly , NEVER, they were delaying , not giving up much of their supposed interest, and even denying me altogether(ok those incidents were not more than 10 altogether), and that by the years destroyed my self esteem on that area, made me weak and fearful and the combination of my ego , discouraged me on making attempts on other girls also.
Another "problem" which i dont consider it as such, is that i hate crowded places and modern music...
I dont know what to say, ill speak honestly ,iam 25 and rapidly advancing towards 26, and i only made out once with one girl without kissing her (yes thats strange) and i dindt even liked her ,thats why i didnt do anything.
What iam looking for is not for a super hot model NO NOT AT ALL, i want a cute ,nice looking girl, that will be sensitive , with good manors and gentle feelings, that i will be able to understand her and vise versa, a girl that would be decent , unpretending...
Iam not asking for much really , but its seems that i cant find it for a variety of reasons including my own insecureness and psychological weakness towards girls, iam not sure at all about my self after all those years .
Anyway thanks for listening Getting Ready for a First Date