I have a gambling Problem

I never really understood how someone could have a gambling problem until this past weekend. It's not physically addictive, and it's not a disease. I guess I seem to not have any self control, and I know I need to fix this now before it gets worse.

The first time I went to a casino was two years ago. I brought $300 with me, and went home with $800. I thought "wow..that was easy" ..so I kept going.

In the past two years, I have gone to the casino maybe once every 2 or 3 months. I have probably lost over $5000 total. I went in April I brought $500 with me and I won $3000, and by the time I left, it was all gone. In June, I went and lost $700, and this past weekend I lost $800. Every time I lose I tell myself "I am never going back" But I always do. Like right now after losing all of that money, I know I should NEVER go back, but I feel the only way to get that money back fast is to win it back.

Before I go, I always have a "plan" Like this past weekend, my "plan" was whatever I won I would keep, and when I run out of the money I brought I would stop playing. Well I played all of my money, and I had $900. I won $100. But instead of walking away a winner, I played that money to win more, and once again, lost it all.

I think what makes me keep going back, is that every time I go I do win. I usually win at least a few hundred. But I always end up giving it all back and losing everything. It's pure greediness.

It even goes further than casinos. Every time I go to a gas station, or deli, I am always compelled to buy scratch offs. It's getting to the point it's beyond ludicrous.

I don't know what is wrong with me, and why I can't stop.

I'm sorry to hear that. My coworkers husband had a gambling addiction and it spiraled out of control before she even knew what was happening. She lost her home, her savings, almost everything she owned. He put them in debt over 50,000 dollars.

She nearly divorced him. She made him enter counseling and she took over the finances. He wasn't allowed to have his paycheck, he had to turn it over to her.

She was saying that even years later, he still had that urge.

Have you thought about gamblers annoynmous?

Everyone feels drawn to something that gives them a rush sometimes, unfortunately this is a dangerous thing. It's easy to get in the habit and get caught up... I mean, afterall sometimes you do win cash! You just have to treat it as though you'll always lose and try to stay away. I hope you can find help, snoopy.

I think what makes me keep going back, is that every time I go I do win. I usually win at least a few hundred. But I always end up giving it all back and losing everything. It's pure greediness.

 

I agree with metrogirl that you should try Gamblers Anonymous

link removed

I'm sorry to hear that. My coworkers husband had a gambling addiction and it spiraled out of control before she even knew what was happening. She lost her home, her savings, almost everything she owned. He put them in debt over 50,000 dollars.

 

She nearly divorced him. She made him enter counseling and she took over the finances. He wasn't allowed to have his paycheck, he had to turn it over to her.

 

She was saying that even years later, he still had that urge.

 

Have you thought about gamblers annoynmous?

I'm sorry to hear about your friends husband. That is horrible.

I didn't even know that had such a thing as gamblers anonymous. I talked to my brother about it, and he said he studied "pathological gamblers", and he tried to assure me, I wasn't one, and I am just being stupid with money.

I don't know much about it, but I know I do have a problem. I'm not sure if I would want to go to a group. I don't like talking in front of big groups of people, but maybe I try to find one and just listen? Do you know if it is similar as an AA meeting?

Like you Snoopy, I always bought scratch off tickets. It's ridiculous how much I love them but I found myself buying more and more. Suddenly, 1 or 2 weren't enough so I would buy 3 and 4. Then I thought well if I buy the 3.00 dollar tickets, I'll win bigger prizes and yeah, I did win a few good prizes but the loss was far greater than the win.

What slowed me way down was my buying a car. I have that monthly car payment and the last thing I want is to not have enough money to pay it. I still get those urges though.

Vegas is harder for me now because I started dropping more money that I used to so I have to scale way back.

You can just lurk in any sort of Gambler's Anonymous meeting (Just like AA and NA, etc). You never have to speak unless you feel ready. I think it might be good to see the reality of where this can lead and hear the stories of others.

I'm sorry to hear about your friends husband. That is horrible.

 

I didn't even know that had such a thing as gamblers anonymous. I talked to my brother about it, and he said he studied "pathological gamblers", and he tried to assure me, I wasn't one, and I am just being stupid with money.

 

I don't know much about it, but I know I do have a problem. I'm not sure if I would want to go to a group. I don't like talking in front of big groups of people, but maybe I try to find one and just listen? Do you know if it is similar as an AA meeting?

Not sure of how they do their meetings. You should look into though. At the very least you might find someone in your area that has gone through the same thing and possibly could help you out.

I don't know much about it, but I know I do have a problem. I'm not sure if I would want to go to a group. I don't like talking in front of big groups of people, but maybe I try to find one and just listen? Do you know if it is similar as an AA meeting?

Yes, it's based on the same 12-step principles of AA....just like Overeaters Anonymous and many other "Anonymous" support/recovery groups.

The 12 step meetings I've been to (Overeaters Anonymous), you didn't have to say a word to anyone if you didn't want to. Each group has a slightly different "personality" based on the individuals in attendance, so if you don't like one meeting, try another.

Do you know if it is similar as an AA meeting?

It is very similar to an AA meeting. And when you first attend you don't have to talk. You can just listen until you get comfortable.

Everyone feels drawn to something that gives them a rush sometimes, unfortunately this is a dangerous thing. It's easy to get in the habit and get caught up... I mean, afterall sometimes you do win cash! You just have to treat it as though you'll always lose and try to stay away. I hope you can find help, snoopy.

Thanks hun. I think that is what it is. It gives me a rush when I win..and when I do win, I want to win more. I just get so caught up with it.

Snoopy24, I know how you feel, although I have never been hooked onto gambling (my best friend's dad is a compulsive gambler and I have heard the stories from his mom). In a way, it is like spending money. I love spending money on food and each time I tell myself I will spend less, cook more, etc., yet I go shopping and spend as much if not MORE money on food.

Hopefully attending one of those meetings will help. You need to learn to stop before you gamble away everything you own.

Thanks hun. I think that is what it is. It gives me a rush when I win..and when I do win, I want to win more. I just get so caught up with it.

I think that could go for any of us.

Like you Snoopy, I always bought scratch off tickets. It's ridiculous how much I love them but I found myself buying more and more. Suddenly, 1 or 2 weren't enough so I would buy 3 and 4. Then I thought well if I buy the 3.00 dollar tickets, I'll win bigger prizes and yeah, I did win a few good prizes but the loss was far greater than the win.

 

What slowed me way down was my buying a car. I have that monthly car payment and the last thing I want is to not have enough money to pay it. I still get those urges though.

 

Vegas is harder for me now because I started dropping more money that I used to so I have to scale way back.

That is what I did with the scratch offs too. I've played them SO much, and have never won more that $100. But still would buy them, and lose. God, I've probably lost another $5000 on just scratch offs in my life. The thing with the casino though, is I have turned $3 in $1000, just like that. So I think if it's happened before it will happen again. I won $1000 twice in a 20 minutes on two different machines. What I need to realize is that is beyond lucky, and that usually doesn't happen.

I do understand the "rush" one gets with gambling.

A few years ago I went to Las Vegas with my best friend. One night I was wandering around and decided to sit at a blackjack table. I had about $700 with me. I was planning to spend only $100 there. The feeling and camerarderie I felt from sitting there with a group of people (we all seemed to get along and joke around) and from winning every so often, kept me there for hours (5-6 hours) and I ended up leaving the table with only $20 from the $700 I had brought with me.

Not good.

Are you gambling away your rent money or life savings?

If so, get help right away.

If not, you might just try abstaining and then maybe seeking those AA-type groups

I think I would be so nervous to go to a meeting. I would be horrified if there was someone there I knew. ..well then again, I guess they would only be there if they had a problem too! There are only a couple people who know, and I'm afraid anyone else I know would find out.

Maybe you can go to link removed and find a social group of people who do other things you like, other hobbies.

When do you usually go to the casino? Maybe set movie nights with friends on those days.

All just trying to keep your mind in a different direction.

Are you gambling away your rent money or life savings?

 

If so, get help right away.

 

If not, you might just try abstaining and then maybe seeking those AA-type groups

I've never really saved much, so I guess you can say I am gambling away my savings. I don't gamble money I need for food or Bills..but it is money I do need in general, and should be saving.

The thing with anonymous meetings is that they're anonymous. If someone sees you there that you know, you keep their anonymity and they keep yours.

You know I go to Al-Anon, whihc is a 12 step like AA, and I've run into clients there. Embarrassing, right, for my clients to know I have issues to work through? Yea, at first. Especially when they pay my bills! But then they're there the same reason I am: to get help. Don't let that deter you at all, b/c the anonymity of the members is what keeps it from being a gossip circle of people's problems.

Maybe you can go to link removed and find a social group of people who do other things you like, other hobbies.

 

When do you usually go to the casino? Maybe set movie nights with friends on those days.

All just trying to keep your mind in a different direction.

Well my boyfriend gets free sweets. From all the money I spend on his card! lol. So he usually brings up the idea "I have a free room, so lets go away for the weekend" That's when I change my mind about never going back, and start thinking about how to win back the money I lost. But in reality, every time I go now, I'm burning a bigger hole in my pocket.

Ask him to stop offering free rooms and telling you when he's got rewards to cash in.

I know how you feel. I have exactly the same problem and I still get the urges to go to the casinos. I've probably lost about $25,000 total from gambling so far. It was so bad at one point that I had to consistently run to the atm after I lost $1,500 that night. There are policies from the bank that won't allow you to withdraw more than $1,000 a day but that didn't stop me from calling the bank 4x just to see if they can do something about it. Soon I started to go by myself when no one was available. I still go every so often but it's not as bad as it used to be, I used to go every weekend. I keep telling myself that I will no longer go each and every time I lose money (which is very often, if not mostly all the time). I have won a few times but it's nothing compared to how much I've lost. Sometimes I don't know how I've managed to have this problem, my parents don't gamble whatsoever. I'm still fighting the urges. Good luck!!! I know it's difficult.

Ask him to stop offering free rooms and telling you when he's got rewards to cash in.

We actually got into a big fight about it and left at 2am. I do understand I make my own decisions, and I can't blame him for my actions..but I asked him why he kept taking me there when he knew I had a problem.(he has even told me several times I have a gambling problem.) I told him it is the same to bringing an alcoholic to a bar, and he just went off on me. So I know next time he gets a free room, I need to just say no. This time though there was also a wine and food tasting thing he got tickets to, with the cooks from the food network. Which was fun, but I'd rather be sitting here with my $800 I had, instead of going and wasting my money.

No you're right, you're responsible for your own actions, but he's enabling you. That's dangerous when someone has a problem. Tell him how serious this is for you and that you need him to support you and that you've supported him through tough things he's gone through (and god knows you have) so he needs to do the same for you.