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Thread: "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

  1. #21
    Gold Member ay0_x's Avatar
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    I wholeheartedly agree with that quote.

    I have a friend who is just now getting into her first relationship. She's obsessive and crazy and she's changed so much. She's so depressing to be around because she doesnt feel "right" unless she's around the guy.

    If she'd gone through relationships and the dating game and "lost" a few times, she'd be so much stronger. But alas, it didn't happen. She never felt "loss" and it's made her a very weak person

  2. #22
    Platinum Member doyathink's Avatar
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    Word! It's better to have loved and won!

  3. #23
    FortunateOne's Avatar
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    Shakespeare wrote "it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all", not Alfred Tennyson.

    To me it means that it is a good life experience to positively remember how we love those we care for when they are gone then to go through life with out being able to love and only imagine the experience.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member BriarRose's Avatar
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    Honestly who thinks of this crap, Alfred Tennyson you are full of crap.
    ..
    I agree totally (with OP). That kind of pain...not worth it. Better to love and keep the love, but to have lost it? I would rather not have had it.

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  6. #25
    Gold Member Cheeks18's Avatar
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    I lost the love of my life very recently, I am really heartbroken, but I agree with this statement totally, I know alot of things I did wrong to screw up my first love, and if I ever have a chance with her again, or fall for someone else I can now tweak my relationship abilities and make it even better!!

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Ogion
    Honestly who thinks of this crap, Alfred Tennyson you are full of crap.
    Well how about.....

    It is better never to have loved at all than to have loved and lost....

    Why the hell would it be better vice versa, all same crap and you end up as a loser either way!



    Keep smiling

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by Misskitty16
    ..
    I agree totally (with OP). That kind of pain...not worth it. Better to love and keep the love, but to have lost it? I would rather not have had it.
    Exactly!


    Me too!

  9. #28
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    I agree with the quote--if your only two choices are to have never loved at all or to have experienced heartbreak...I would choose the heartbreak because the memories of loving and being loved are so precious. Love makes us better people, it helps us understand ourselves better, it teaches us to relate to the world in less selfish ways, and yes, sometimes it makes us want to curl up in a ball and cry for weeks or months at a time. But it's an essential part of truly living your life the way it should be lived.

    Reminds me of the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, in which one of the characters thinks she wants all memories of her ex wiped from her mind but comes to regret her decision once the memories start disappearing...

  10. #29
    Gold Member rikka's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Sn0man
    Once the heartache has passed and you no longer have an emotional investment in someone, looking back on loving someone is an intensely gratifying experience. Never having experienced that kind of thing would be the worst thing to happen to anyone.
    And this ^^^ is why I agree with the quote. Yes there is the pain, and I am still deep in it. But I am choosing to not be resentful or bitter - I want to embrace and remember the good, because when it was good it was amazing. And through all the heartaches and hurt I have learned and I have grown. I have done this in ways that would not have been possible had I stayed with my ex. I wouldn't erase those years if I could. I would never want to. That experience, that love, made me who I am today. And I will gladly take that plunge again.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member WomanWriter's Avatar
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    Maybe it depends on who you loved and lost.

    If you had good memories, ended on good terms, or it wasn't that serious, I can see how it would be better to have loved. But if you have bad memories (like date rape), ended on bad terms, or it was serious and the person blind-sighted you, I would think you might think it was better to have never loved at all.

    I guess I'm glad I loved because I did learn some things. But in a way, if I never had loved my ex fiance, I would not feel so crushed today. I might feel more open to love. Now that I've lost someone I loved, I don't feel the same about relationships quite as much as I used to. It doesn't seem worth the effort to get involved with someone else again. I almost rather be single, but it sucks being alone. I don't want to go through all those years and a marriage proposal only to get dumped again, ya know?

    I DO feel like my past relationship was a waste on some levels. I loved him but I could have found someone more committed to me during the past 7 years when I was still young and in school and had guys all around me. I thought he was going to marry me, so I wasn't looking elsewhere. In hindsight, if I knew he was going to dump me, I might have never gotten involved because I could have invested my energy elsewhere!

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