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Thread: How to ask an ex to hang out??

  1. #1
    Maverick212
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    How to ask an ex to hang out??

    ok so i've been talking to my ex via facebook once and on aim a few times in the last two months, recently for an hour bout a week ago. not heavy communication but it's there everythig is fine, we laugh, she's friendly, it's like we are friends. i don't wanna jump the gun here, cuz i do still like her, but enough to be with her again I dunno, i'd have to see.

    has anyone here asked their ex to hang out successfully and gotten good results?? whats the best way to go about it?? and should it be one on one or amoungst friends??

  2. #2
    Ivory_Tower

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick212 [Register to see the link]
    ok so i've been talking to my ex via facebook once and on aim a few times in the last two months, recently for an hour bout a week ago. not heavy communication but it's there everythig is fine, we laugh, she's friendly, it's like we are friends. i don't wanna jump the gun here, cuz i do still like her, but enough to be with her again I dunno, i'd have to see.

    has anyone here asked their ex to hang out successfully and gotten good results?? whats the best way to go about it?? and should it be one on one or amoungst friends??
    Things sound like they are on pretty friendly terms with you and your ex---very good sign because most people have a hard time with this. That includes the dumper AND dumpee. If she is being friendly and communicating with you, then she at least wants to be friends.

    What I would suggest (if you want to get back with her OR just find out where you stand) is to find some common reason to meet up. For example, if she has a pet dog you could say that you miss it and would like to visit just to say hello. Another idea is to invite her for coffee, BUT (and heres the important part) say that you would like to catch up and see how she is doing. You may even want to gravitate towards asking about her family or mutual friends. This way, you are being a friend and showing interest, without just meeting up to talk about the relationship. Does that make sense?

    If you can do this a few times, and she responds well and continues contact, THEN you can see where you both are and open up discussion about the relationship.

    They key right now (if you want her back) is to remain calm and cool. Don't put too much pressure on her initially. Girls don't like that. If she doesn't want to meet up just say thats cool. And, this is important, tell her about something you have coming up and end the conversation. It shows that you have a life and that you have other things going on. For example you could say, "Oh thats cool. I'm busy next week anyways. My buddies and I are going to go biking in this nice area. Lets catch up soon."

    See what I mean? Friendly, but not putting on too much pressure. I am telling you these tecniques because as a GIRL I know what works.

  3. 07-25-2009, 06:22 AM

  4. #3
    denise_14
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    i've gone out with my ex several times, but we were in groups. sometimes it's me who initiates; there are times it's him who invites me to join. the fact that we have the same circle of friends makes it easier and less awkward. if you want to invite an ex out, just be very casual. i'd also like to emphasize that all the dates i've had with my ex were never tainted with an intent to reconcile, or whatever romantic. we just wanna hang out and have a good time, just like the old times. because if you had other romantic intentions, you might feel uneasy. it would just spoil the date. worst, you'll end up getting more hurt if things don't turn out the way you wanted.

  5. #4
    Maverick212
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    ok well today guess who I get an IM from??? yup you guessed it, the ex. i did some volunteer work at a hospital today, and my ex commented on it. she was suprised at it lol, which i guess is valid guess i was kinda lazy when we were together lol

  6. #5
    fruitapus09
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    Your situation is pretty good since you are already in communication.

    After going NC for awhile, how is the best way to re-initiate contact? Text a joke? Suggest meeting for a drink? That sounds too pushy after not talking to someone for a long time.

  7. #6
    renaissancewoman101
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    Quote Originally Posted by fruitapus09 [Register to see the link]
    Your situation is pretty good since you are already in communication.

    After going NC for awhile, how is the best way to re-initiate contact? Text a joke? Suggest meeting for a drink? That sounds too pushy after not talking to someone for a long time.
    I agree, what is the best way to reach out to an ex after a long period of NC?? Esp when one wants to try to mend fences.

  8. #7
    Maverick212
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    it's hard to say...i mean i'm no expert in this area...she had ill feelings toward me for a long time. it's been almost 11 months to get to this point i'm at right now, where we are having friendly conversations. I still want to ask her to hang out but don't know how to do it.

    each situation is different. you have to give it enough time so that all those bad feelings toward each other subside, and I think that is the reason for NC, to create space and a way to make sure that either side doesn't create new issues to be angry at each other for. eventually the bad fades, and they remember the good and as a result they miss you. i mean i didn't initiate anything with her for 7 months till a week ago, so you can imagine how hard it was for me. over time she reached out to me....and here we are today.

    i'm sorry it's not great advice but rushing anything will do more harm than good, gotta be patient. yo'll know when the time is right...the key is to talk as if nothing happened and you're starting fresh....for me it was her commenting on an aim away message. so maybe put one up that you know she'd be curious about and read.

    but anyway, my ex and i had a really long nice coversation last night, and we brought up maybe seeing each other around campus last night, we didn't but it was just an idea. but the thought is there so that's the best i can do for now. like i said i don't wanta rush either. any ideas of how we can hang out???

  9. #8
    renaissancewoman101
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    You can hang out like maybe go out and get a coffee and just have a quick chat and take it from there.

    It is best to start off simple.

  10. #9
    Maverick212
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    simplicity is what i'm goin for....i want her to be comfortable and at ease with whatever it is and not feel pressured or that i'm trying to get her back

  11. #10
    Maverick212
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    damn, this is much harder than i thought....i'm trying to pace myself with all this and not become overly anxious. it seems that everday I want IM, text, or call her because I enjoy our conversations so much. what to do?

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