How does Viagra work? Why do I have to "dress up?"

I'm with someone who wants to try Viagra so I bought some generic. He's taken it twice to no avail, however, he takes it and makes no effort to make any moves. I told him I wish he'd just go to his Dr. and get the real deal but he doesn't want to. At the same time, now he wants me to go buy something sheer and sexy and THEN we'll have sex. My question is why should I have to do that when I already bought him the Viagra? I think he should go buy me something. But I am more hurt thinking he just doesn't want me the way I am. Am I being overly sensitive? He keeps talking about how we're "going to do it" someday but someday never comes. I want to be sensitive to his ED problems but I am starting to take all of this personally. Thoughts?

ED is tough and can be physical and psychological in cause (i work in medicine). Generic versions are usually very good as long as they are not fake. How long have you been seeing him! I sense his issues are psychological based.

Dressing up definitely can add spice; maybe it is what he needs to help him.

But at the same time, it doesn't sound like he is putting in much effort.

Tell him to pick you out something to wear and bring it home.

ED is tough and can be physical and psychological in cause (i work in medicine). Generic versions are usually very good as long as they are not fake. How long have you been seeing him! I sense his issues are psychological based.

I've known him three years now (on and off with lots of problems and I take my part in them) and we've had sex (intercourse) maybe a few times. Part of it was I had no birth control. Now I do. Part of it was other relationship problems, but I have changed my ways so that issue is gone, although I know he still has to trust me more. I know it's not my weight, although I've put on weight. He didn't want me when I looked anorexic (to him), ideal weight (to him) and now overweight (in fact). He gets very amorous when we are out in public and can't do anything. He also got this way right before he left yesterday. I asked him to stay an extra five minutes to see if we could get somewhere and he said he had to leave. He says he is very secure sexually and has no problem in the ED department, yet I know he wants the Viagra as he just brought it up again this morning. He is not young anymore so this is to be expected and I certainly understand his needing some help. I don't know what to do. I can go buy something and then what if he STILL doesn't want me? Oh, and that generic version is from India and says Hindgra. Looked it up on the Net and it says it's just like Viagra.

He has his own issues, obviously... but maybe the weight changes have influenced the issues in some way but at least he has suggested something. He just needs to follow through and help out.

Dressing up definitely can add spice; maybe it is what he needs to help him.

But at the same time, it doesn't sound like he is putting in much effort.

 

Tell him to pick you out something to wear and bring it home.

He tells me he'll bring me a catalog and I can buy something. I think he is cheap and would rather I spend my money. At the same time, I DO have my sexual insecurities and have been victimized by men so I am less than confident in me and would feel stupid trying to "seduce him." He says women are the seductresses (and he has no sexual problems he says) but I say he should be the aggressor - at least the first time or two so I get comfortable being with a man (especially given my insecurities and history). It's kind of a mess. We're finally getting along now but the lack of sex is going to ruin things.

First, get the real Viagra. Anything else is probably a sham. And he should pay for it.

Second...he wants you to buy something sexy? Is this guy so cheap he won't spend $ on something nice for you? "He has no sexual problems, he says." He's in denial.

Viagra works by enlarging the blood vessels leading to the penis, the more blood flow the easier it is to have and maintain an erection. On a side note, it was originally marketed as enlarging blood vessels around the heart mitigating cardiac arrest but during the trial stages it was found that women turned in their samples back reporting little difference whereas the men kept the samples, it was then revealed that the blood vessels that were enlarged were much lower.

You've been together 3 years, have had sex a 'few times' and he says he has no problems in the sex department. Yeah, ok.

As long as he thinks he doesn't have any problems, he won't bother making an effort to fix them.

Why did you let this go on for so long? Is sex relatively unimportant to you?

Men are so sensitive about this stuff. It is a huge pain. If a woman had a problem that interfered with sex and she could do something about it, she would do it immediately. I had my boyfriend complain it took me too long to reach orgasm...he would get really frustrated. On the flip side, if I were to complain that it is too much effort to get a good stiffie going, he would be devastated.