"Howsoever you may repair it, a rift is a rift". M Gandhi

What do you think he meant?

For those who, like me, you interpret this as meaning that once you have argued with someone things will never be the way they were before the argument, do you agree with him?

Not in all cases, no. It depends on what was said, how sincere it was, what your relationship is like, and so on. My best friend and I have had knock down drag downs but we came out of it ok.

On the other hand, a buddy of mine recently had a fight and I am having a hard time even being around him right now although we apologized.

To some degree, once you have had a serious argument, I think there is some more effort involved because you need to resolve that issue before things can move forward. If you just let it go, there is more potential for bad arguments in the future because you aren't dealing with the differences between you in communication. Especially in a close relationship.

Some things you can work out with your partner without ever talking about them. Some things you have to talk about. And some issues you just have to have a fight about in order to resolve them.

I am not advocating a kind of relationship where you fight all the time, or even often. But sometimes it's just the only way to get out of a specific rut. If you do it fairly (i.e. you don't "hit below the belt", you always complete the fight, you don't get exceedingly harsh, you don't go to bed angry at each other and you remember to make each other laugh afterwards) it's very therapeutic once all other avenues are exausted

I agree with that. Even when we think things are fine and dandy and all is forgotten, one little thing may come up which will make you realise that the 'rift' which you think is repaired has always be there.

Paulina, you're so fixated on the rift between you and the BIL that you can't see the huge gapping chasm that is wide open between you and your husband.