GF Gets Mad If I dont Text

Hey guys. My GF in an LDR gets really mad at me if I don't text her all day, while I am busy that is. For example today, I didn't text her all day long and we were on AIM and she sent me a message and was like, WHATS YOUR DEAL? There is something wrong with you.... Blah blah... I was like * * * are you talking about. And she said that SHE has to send the first text or online message and that I dont do it first anymore. So we had a normal convo after that online, and before I logged off, I asked her if she will send me the first text tomorrow. She said no that I had to send the first text. Sounds so childish. SO I told her not to get mad at me if I dont text her all day. WHAT DO I DO? Maybe I should fish for other better fish in the sea....

If you're too busy to spend a few seconds sending a text to someone you love, then you're not ready for a relationship.

Sorry.

Are you REALLY too busy to slip in a "hello" from your phone? It's all about compromise.

I know when my guy never texted or called all day, I'd be drafting mean texts to send him, like "what is your issue?!" blah blah blah.. but I learned that what I want from him is not what he is able to give me. To him, he doesn't see it as a big deal because he thinks we'll talk later on.

Anyways... you guys are in a LDR. I think communication is critical. If you absolutely cannot provide her with what she wants and you don't see a point in doing so, then maybe it's time to find "better" fish in the sea. A fish that does not need to hear from you all day perhaps.

If you're too busy to spend a few seconds sending a text to someone you love, then you're not ready for a relationship.

 

 

Sorry.

How about: If you need to spend random intervals of your day exchanging asinine electronic messages to maintain a relationship, then society is * * * * ed.

Okay but if she really wanted to talk couldnt she have texted me when she wanted to? I dont understand why I have to be the first one to text all the time.

She said no that I had to send the first text. Sounds so childish. SO I told her not to get mad at me if I dont text her all day. WHAT DO I DO? Maybe I should fish for other better fish in the sea....

Why would you do that? To punish her for feeling sad and neglected? (However unjustified you think those feelings may be.)

Seriously, how hard is it to just send the first text? Set yourself an outlook reminder if you won't remember.

How about: If you need to spend random intervals of your day exchanging asinine electronic messages to maintain a relationship, then society is * * * * ed.

I'm sorry, but back then when cell phones weren' invented, guys still had time to call up their sweethearts "just to say hi", and I find that touching. It means she was in his thoughts and that's what makes us girls feel special.

Okay but if she really wanted to talk couldnt she have texted me when she wanted to? I dont understand why I have to be the first one to text all the time.

You're the one with the pants in this relationship, not her. Again, it's all about compromising. Talk it out with your sweetie and get to the root of this problem before she walks out on you- To another guy who doesn't mind sending her a text or two.

Sorry. Just a bad trip to memory lane for me there.

Just be sweet. If you don't want to talk because you're busy, just text her "hey baby, I'm at work so I can't talk but I just wanted to let you know I was thinkin about you! Can't wait to see you!" and I promise you'll be in her good graces for a little while.

But honestly, she's you're girlfriend. Of course she wants to hear from you. It's cuz she cares

God, I'm sorry, but this really takes me back to the past. When my nasty little ex and I were together, he would NEVER EVER text me during the day, and would call me late at night. And when he doesn't call, it sends me bursting into tears. Why? Because I loved to hear from him because I was so in love with him. Girls are just wired to communicate a lot, it's just how we are!

Ugh.

I'm sorry, but back then when cell phones weren' invented, guys still had time to call up their sweethearts "just to say hi", and I find that touching. It means she was in his thoughts and that's what makes us girls feel special.

Why can't people do that? I do it all the time.

It's much easier than texting because you're not trying mash super small buttons while sending little nearly meaningless messages.

I'm just venting at text messaging, not defending the OP.

God, I'm sorry, but this really takes me back to the past. When my nasty little ex and I were together, he would NEVER EVER text me during the day, and would call me late at night. And when he doesn't call, it sends me bursting into tears. Why? Because I loved to hear from him because I was so in love with him. Girls are just wired to communicate a lot, it's just how we are!

 

Ugh.

I agree 100%.

& I thought my guy should text first because he obviously KNEW how much a text (or SOME sort of communication) from him meant to me... and I don't think he felt the same... like a text or a call from me was a bonus, but it wasn't necessary.

What I find strange is this need that some people have to be in constant communication with their partner all the time. I would find that oppressive and clingy.

I like being texted constantly.

It makes me feel wanted.

It's when the other person has no real specific reason not to.

Or just says I just too busy afterwards when you know they are not.

How hard is it to say a few words?

How about: If you need to spend random intervals of your day exchanging asinine electronic messages to maintain a relationship, then society is * * * * ed.

I can't help but agree with that, lol. Seriously, it would drive me up the wall if my partner texts me all day long, or expects me to text back all day long. I mean, people have got jobs to do and have a life. Revolving your whole life around text messaging is very immature and so high schoolish (imo).

It comes accross as overly needy and clingy. Why not call ONCE a day (maybe twice if you really have to), and leave it at that. Texting all day is smothering someone to death. Give them a break - at least a break long enough to miss you.

I get the point of a good morning text before the day starts, but texting always throughout the day takes up so much time! I used to be the way OP's GF is, and it just pushed me and my ex apart. (me and ex were also LDR)

Maybe just send her a text in the morning and if you can on your lunch break, its a small comprimise and it also shows you are thinking of her.

Wait..maybe I misread this post. Is she mad if you don't text at ALL during the day? Or if you don't text 24/7 during the day?..... because I'm totally fine with not communicating 24/7 throughout the day, but a nice "Hello" would suffice... especially if we were LDR.

Wait..maybe I misread this post. Is she mad if you don't text at ALL during the day? Or if you don't text 24/7 during the day?..... .

I got the impression he meant she gets mad when he doesn't text 24/7 - unless I misread when he says: "gets really mad at me if I don't text her all day, while I am busy that is

i think the OP meant during the day while he is at work or something.

It seems she even gets mad about it even while they are talking on AIM. I mean, wouldn't the fact that you are already talking on AIM, cancel out the need for texting too? It seems like major overkill to me. She can't expect him to be around all day, and online, and text all day long. Surely one or the other should be enough.

Compromise comes from both sides. I think wanting the OP to txt her through the day is too demanding my god his working for crying out loud not sitting at home doing nothing. That being said its not to much to ask that the OP txts her when he gets a chance, that way she feels loved but he doesn't feel pressured.

She doesn't wanna hear from you ALL day long. She just wants you to be the first to text, it shows her that you want to talk to her. Yes, it's weird.. but true.

Just randomly text her and surprise her..make her feel good. Or even if you say, "I'm going to be busy today, but I will text you later." That'll be enough, trust me. I was your GF for the longggggest time. It's all about compromise, for sure. We are long distance too, btw.

Okay but if she really wanted to talk couldnt she have texted me when she wanted to? I dont understand why I have to be the first one to text all the time.

I suspect that's exactly her point. If someone wants to talk they can text or initiate communication with the other person. Sure enough, she does that, but you apparently don't initiate any communication with her. Ergo you don't want to talk to her. THAT is what she's objecting to. The fact that your first reaction is to consider cheerfully dumping her suggests that her fears are probably quite justified.

I entirely understand being busy, and I sometimes go a day or two without communicating with my gf when either she or I are very busy. I don't think you have to be on top of each other with communication every day without exception during busy periods, if it's fine with both of you not to be. But what communication there is has to be equitable in some sense. If one party is always initiating contact with the other, eventually they're going to start to get the impression that the other party doesn't really want to talk to them.

It really isn't a big deal. I mean, sure it shouldn't be too much to take a couple of seconds to text her but she's also being overly dramatic about the situation.

Okay but if she really wanted to talk couldnt she have texted me when she wanted to? I dont understand why I have to be the first one to text all the time.

There is a lot of pressure with LDR, been there for 2 years. We were madly in love, it was love at first sight with not just sparks but flames. Even though I knew it was reciprocal as can be, I still got insecure and mad with him for not keeping in touch all the time. It's just essential to do that when seeing each other is really rare.

I suppose she wants you to initiate more and just simple hellos would do. I'd still get mad with my fiance if he doesn't say good night or good morning or whatever -simply because we don't live together and that's distance also.

If you care it shouldn't be too diffcult to text her more. In your busy schedule, do you ever think about her? If you do, then that would be a great time to text her. It doesn't have to be a lot of texts imo, but there should be some to maintain communication.