Hey everyone! I'm new to this site and so far all of the advice from other threads as been really helpful, but I still don't know what to do because I'm in a uncommon situation...(I will try to keep it as short as I can)
My (ex)boyfriend and I were together for 3 and a half years and he broke up with me about 3 months ago. He still says he loves and cares for me, but is not "in love" with me. I didn't contact him for 3 weeks hoping that this would give him enough time to miss me. We met up a little after that and had a good time together. We both got a little choked up seeing each other too. At that point, I had hope that I could get him back.
A week later he told me he started dating someone, and after that point I started to go into serious depression. We still remained in contact, and when we met up again in the middle of May he told me that the "other girl" went away for the summer since she lives in another state. He said that they still talk, but it was a "we will see" situation.
My depression continued to get worse because the more I talked to him, the more I realized his stories weren't adding up. I got curious and found her facebook, only do find out that they officially were in a relationship. They started dating 3 days after we broke up when she asked him to her sorority formal (when he told me they didn't start hanging out until a month after we broke up). She already stayed as his house and met his family, and he also commented to her saying he loved her. I confronted him about all of his lies, but he said he did it to protect me (which I'm not sure...I think he might have been trying to protect himself). I know he is planning on visiting her for a weekend in about a month.
I've tried explaining to him that I feel that he disrespected me and our relationship by only waiting 3 days to date someone. He admits that he went into it way too fast, but he is happy how he is now. However, I don't know if he is truly happy because I think he is just using her to get over the breakup. I've done a lot of research on the psychology behind rebound relationships and have found out that they are really not healthy. I've tried talking to him about it a little, but he think I am just trying to control his life. Part of me thinks I should show him the articles or try to talk to his best friend so he can get a different perspective. I know I can't tell him what to do, but if he got the information from another source maybe he will realize on his own that its not good for him (or anyone for that matter) to be in his new relationship.
The other thing I am confused about is how I should proceed from here. I was reading another thread about using reverse psychology when it comes to rebound relationships. It logic makes sense to have no contact, but should I still do this when his new girlfriend lives on the other side of the country for the next couple of months? I don't know if I should take advantage of this and try to hang out with him more, since she has the "out of sight, out of mind" disadvantage. This summer I want to live my own life and do things for myself, but I am still so in love with him. We have been best friends for the past 3 years, so I can't imagine a life without him, even as just a friend. But ultimately I want to get him back....Any advice would be helpful...Thanks!