"bad timing" = he's just not that into you?

i wasn't sure if i should post this under exboyfriend/girlfriend relationships or breaking up, but i decided it was more of a "break up" question than anything else.

the reasoning behind our break up was, i would like to think, timing. he said that he was not able to give me everything that i need in a relationship (i was his first official "girlfriend") due to his hectic school schedule and his inability to give a lot of himself (i would say it's a maturity issue, sadly).

now, i know a lot of you will think that i'm using timing as a reasoning to dampen the blow, but he and i still continually talk on a regular basis and hang out. i've asked him repeatedly if the timing were different would things be different between us and he has said yes. he hasn't started seeing anyone since we've broken up (over six months ago), he tells me there isn't a time in the day when he doesn't think about me, and he tells me how much he misses me. (please note i'll also be moving to a different city in a few short months, while he stays behind for another year in college and he may not even move to my city after he graduates).

now, i'm wondering what the rest of you all think. is bad timing an actual legitimate reason or could it just be his excuse and that he's just not that into me (and he's just trying to make me feel better)? i mean, i know that i would do whatever is possible to make a relationship work even if the timing were off, but not everyone is willing to make so many compromises (and i think he's one of those). please don't tell me i'm being naive!

ehhh, i dunno. i met a guy just a few months before he was moving overseas to take a job. was that a case of bad timing? he seemed into me, except he was also clear about not wanting to do long distance either. it is confusing and frustrating.

i guess the bottom line is that it didn't work out. you never know what the future may bring but if it's meant to be, maybe you two will reconnect in the future. good luck

Ugh I've gotten that line too, due to school since the person I was dating was graduating University. . . yet still decides to talk to me and spend almost equal amount of time with me, after the awkward, 2 weeks of "breaking up."

I wish I could help you but I don't get it either. o-o

I think timing does have a lot to do with it. Maybe if you had met him at a later date when he wasn't consumed with school, it could work out.. or if you guys reunite later when you both have had time to "do" your own things. But unfortunately, you and him are involved together at a time in his life when he's overwhelmed and unable to commit.

Definitely, I think that can be a legit reason. Sometimes you just CAN'T be involved with somebody. However, it's 50/50. Sometimes it's a bogus answer, used to keep you on hold until they're done messing around and 'feel' like going back to you.

You can't put your life on hold for somebody else and wait for them to figure things out. There aren't enough details about your relationship to determine if he was sincerely into you or not. I think you can tell if somebody's been faking it or if there were genuine feelings.

I think timing does play a role. Sometimes the amount of time and energy we need to spend in another specific area of our lives ie study, does overwhelm our social lives etc.

I had/have very little time that i can get away from work and study commitments to spend with my current partner, and i will say the same is true for him as we are both currently still at uni. And it is working for us both at the moment.

However it became a different story with my ex, he had too much free time vs me. And it became a problem, because he wanted to spend alot of time with me, and this was alot of time that i didn't have. And he would start to nag about it even though he said he understood. On top of that he wanted to get married and start a family asap! (sure, he was going to wait, but the way he went on and on about it put a huge amount of pressure on me on top of what i was already experiencing with uni) this is considering that i still had 3 years of uni left, and wanted to have a life after uni It was a horrible overlap of what we wanted. So yes, timing does play a part. (there were other things at play but i will not go into them for now)