PHP Warning: include_once(..../mobiquo/smartbanner.php): failed to open stream: No such file or directory in ..../includes/class_core.php(4640) : eval()'d code on line 2

PHP Warning: include_once(): Failed opening '..../mobiquo/smartbanner.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/lib/php:/usr/local/lib/php') in ..../includes/class_core.php(4640) : eval()'d code on line 2
Boyfriend showing signs of financial irresponsibility - Relationship Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Boyfriend showing signs of financial irresponsibility

  1. #1
    lonelyone09
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    44

    Boyfriend showing signs of financial irresponsibility

    I've been noticing over the past few weeks that my boyfriend tends to be (imo) irresponsible with the way he is spending his money. He is currently in the army reserves and receives a check for almost $200 once a month. He is desperately searching for another job as his father is kicking him out at the end of the month. His father believes this is the only way to get him on his own and to grow up some, while they also don't get along very well.

    He found out 2 weeks ago that he had about a month to get out and his stay is ending next week. He still has no job, which i dont blame on him because he has been desperately looking every day and its just the economy is horrible. Even I have been looking for a job for the past 8 months and still nothing. Friends and family too. edit: (his own father was even layed off and is currently jobless!)

    He recently received about $1000 from the army which you think he would have put towards moving out and paying bills. Instead he talks about spending $400 on an item and now another $250 or so on a car he wants to fix up only for show. He's already spent the $1000 and on what idk.. His own car doesn't work half the time and it uses a ridiculous amount of gas (not to mention he is uninsured because he can't pay for it). He also complains how he never has gas money and yet he drives himself and friends everywhere accross the city to wherever everyone is hanging out. He goes out at night and also eats out and gets fast food all the time when his mother provides tons of food at home.

    He has told me he wants to buy a house in the next year and sort of settle down a little. He will be receiving a large bonus from the army at the end of the year but is already talking about blowing it on his show car and other recreation.

    Maybe i'm just being crazy or controlling but he is being really financially irresponsible and it scares me for our future. I can understand that he is still young (early 20's) and wants to have fun but the few responsibilities that he currently has aren't even being taken care of. It doesn't bother me that he has no money and i'd rather him not spend a penny on me right now but i'd like to help him i'm just not sure what to say or how.
    When I do say little things to him about it, i think it may come off as controlling but that is the last thing that i want. I just don't know what to say or how to say it.?

  2. #2
    annie24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Age
    36
    Posts
    46,225
    Thanked
    1392
    i'm not sure it's your place to say anything. he'll have to figure things out on his own. but i wouldn't rush into marrying this guy until you get the finances under control.

  3. #3
    lavenderdove
    Platinum Member lavenderdove's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    13,251
    Thanked
    898
    His father is right... he does need to be out on his own and figure out what it means to not have someone housing, feeding, and clothing him.

    It also sounds like he's not taking it seriously that his father is going to throw him out. He's acting like a teenager the way he's spending money, not a guy in his 20s.

    So sometimes you just have to let him fall and experience the consequences of his actions. Hardship is the best teacher. If his parents do throw him out, he will probably try to sponge off someone else.

    You can try to refocus him by asking him what he intends to do at the end of the month, whether he will live etc. He will find out soon enough if he is on his own how quickly money goes when you have to pay rent and buy food and finance yourself.

    You could also talk about watching some self help videos on financial management and budgeting or taking a class together on it. But i seriously doubt he'd be interested until he's actually felt the pain of having to support himself.

    But i most definitely would NOT consider mingling finances with him or marrying him until he has shown that he's learned how to take care of himself and deal with financial priorities. Otherwise you most likely will be paying all the rent, food, necessities, while he spends all the money he earns on toys for himself.

  4. #4
    sweetooth
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    319
    I felt the same way about my ex...he was very irresponsible and well, made me uncomfortable. I couldn't see myself with him if he had such responsibility like that. So now I am even pickier with who I date (we had a mutual breakup, which was not over finances but you know what they say, people don't change until they don't want to, and guess what? my ex is still the same). So I guess I don't have much advice expect I have to agree with the above posters.

Top Threads
How come I can't magnify the good?
I've noticed a pattern in myself as I get older; that I tend to inflate and ruminate over the small things and overlook the good, specifically when
He doesn't want me to share a photo of us together online
I sent him a photograph of us today (which he had initially sent to me himself, saying how much he likes it) and asked 'Is it okay if i put this on
Don't want to break up, terrified of moving in and her anger
So my girlfriend and I have been through a lot in the last five or six years, with many breakups and ups and downs but finally I feel like we're both
my boyfriend mom is my boyfriends girlfriend, thats just the way it seem!
Ive known my boyfriend for years, but, we never dated UNTIL a year ago. And some things has start to bother me about him and his mom relationship
Herpes
So someone i know just found out They have herpes. Tbey have been in a Relationship for a little over a year And never been with anyone else She
Overly sensitive boyfriend
I am having serious problems with my overly sensitive boyfriend. I love him but Im at the point I am not in love but I really want to be and I want
What would he want?
A guy asked for my business card at a networking event in April last year five minutes into meeting me. Excited to meet a potential business prospect

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
my boyfriend mom is my boyfriends girlfriend, thats just the way it seem!
Ive known my boyfriend for years, but, we never dated UNTIL a year ago. And some things has start to bother me about him and his mom relationship
Disconnect
This might sound weird I never brought it up to anyone. Does anyone else feel a huge disconnect. What I mean I always feel like I'm just reading a
Wife thought I shaved body hair I never had, is she cheating
I had my shirt off this morning and my wife of 23 years asked why I shaved my shoulder hair. I have never had body hair from birth on shoulders
5 years together, no reason for splitting..
Hi, thanks for taking the time to read this. Um, so. My girlfriend of 5 years (i'm 25) split with me. And i'm torturing myself over not
How do you know when it's Love?
I've been dating a man since early November. I met him through mutual friends and we spent a lot of time being friends only before we started dating
Tired of being alone
I work two jobs and go to school, I only have one night a week where I am off before 10pm and on those days I'm off at 6:00. My life is crazy but
Playing the field - When do you stop talking with other people and go exclusive?
I'm about two months into the dating scene after getting out of a four year relationship. I've matched with a number of women on Tinder and Bumble
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •