..ive just found out im pregnant....help

Ive just found out today that im pregnant.

My period was due 5 weeks ago and never came. At first i thought it might be due to stress and i just missed that month, and the fact me and my boyfriend are safe, im on BC, and we always use condoms. I know they are not 100% effective, but what are the odds!

I went to the doctor, and he confirmed it by blood test.

Today has been a blur. I dont know what to do. Im in shock.

I haven't spoken to the father.

Things were going so great. We have only known each other for 3 months, together for 2. While kids have been spoken about, nothing like this, but it was pretty clear that he doens't want a kid right now.. he is very busy getting his career on track at college. He is 28 and im 25.

Im really scared to tell him. How do i tell him? i dont want to blurt it out.

We did talk about what we might do if this comes up, but honestly, it was all hypothetical. I said im not against abortion..but who knows if i can actually go through with that. It'll effect me for probably a lot longer than it will him.

What do i do. I know i have to tell him, but how. And when, do i wait a few days, or tell him today?

i haven't told any one... even tho im worried about telling him i do think he should be the first to know...

any help would be great...

Just tell him as gently as you can. But first let me ask, how do you feel about it? I was elated when I found out that I was pregnant, yet I was scared and overwhelmed too. I wanted to have my baby, no question there. But it is scary. Give it some time to sink in and then talk to your bf. He really needs to know and it will actually make you feel better to share it with him.

thanks for your reply....

part of me feels excited... a baby... wow... and the other part, is scared to death.....

im not sure how he is going to react.

over the months, i have felt, he wants a child, even tho he says otherwise, just because of things he has said and that, but is scared too.. he had a bad childhood and a very very crappy father...

if he doesn't like it, and wants me to get an abortion, i dont know what to say... i dont know if i could...

You have time before you need to make any decision regarding abortion. Just take it one step at a time and tell him about the baby. Then both of you give it some time and think on it. You'll come up with the decision that is right for you.

Where are you at? You said he's in school but are you? Would you be able to support the child yourself until he finishes?

My husband is still in school and it's definitely slowed his progress but he's still on track. Although parenting requires sacrifice, it doesn't mean you have to give up your goals altogether.

You know what? When I was pregnant I used to have this panic attack every morning when I woke up. The anxiety combined with the morning sickness was nearly unbearable. But I had nothing to be anxious over. It was just the hormones. Being a mom is so lovely. I wake up every morning now to my daughter's gentle kisses.

First of all, how do *you* feel about it personally. Do you feel you could handle the baby or do you think abortion would be the best option for you right now?

You seriously need to think of this before taking in other factors because the wrong choice, whatever it is, can haunt you for a lifetime. It's hard to give advice when we're not sure on whether you feel abortion or having the baby is the right option for you. Think of what you want to do and then tell the father ASAP. He should know about it whatever you decide to do.

I don't wish to make a difficult situation more difficult -- and I don't mean to come accross as pushy or nosy. Have you considered making an adoption plan for your baby? My husband and I are unable to have children and are trying to find a couple who might consider arranging an open adoption with us. Please, please believe me when I say that I don't wish to hurt or offend you. I can't imagine the turmoil you must be experiencing as you choose what is best for you and your child. We respect you and choice. I don't wish to engage in a debate about abortion or to appear judgmental, but I hate to see a pregnancy terminated that might result in a dream come true to a childless couple and a full, happy life for a child. I also feel badly that many put pressure on themselves to be parents before they're ready, when there's an option that would allow them to maintain loving contact with their child AND still be able to complete their education or other personal goals and growth. That choice isn't for everybody, but I hope you and your partner will consider it. Once again, I do not mean to pressure you or to appear rude or insensitive. My sincere best wishes.

I think posts about making adoption plans arnt appropriate, she hasnt even told the father.

I think you should tell the father asap, atleast then your not going through it by yourself. only you two can decide but dont let him pressure you to abort the baby you must decide what you want.

Im pregnant, i was on the pill and it was a complete shock, i thought i wouldve of kept the baby but i did and im more excited then ever!

Good luckx

I think posts about making adoption plans arnt appropriate, she hasnt even told the father.

 

I think you should tell the father asap, atleast then your not going through it by yourself. only you two can decide but dont let him pressure you to abort the baby you must decide what you want.

 

Im pregnant, i was on the pill and it was a complete shock, i thought i wouldve of kept the baby but i did and im more excited then ever!

 

 

Good luckx

Ta actually make adoption plans is premature, but what I think Jane was trying to do was to make sure that adoption is one of the choices available. Often, only the two choices are seriously discussed: keep the baby or terminate the baby. I think the third option of adoption needs to be seriously discussed and explored at the same time as the other two choices.

As for telling the boyfriend, he should be the first that you tell and you should tell him sooner rather than later. Don't blurt it out, but don't dance around the issue either. Before you tell him, you should take some time and really decide what you are feeling towards the baby. Shock and scared, I understand. But you need to ask yourself, am I ready to be 100% responsible for a living person. AM I willing to make sacrifices based on what is best for my child? WIll I put my child's needs before your own.

I am not trying to scare you, but these are the questions you need to have answers to.

Just my 2 cents.

Erik