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it seems to ok and normal to many people when a rich or wealthy man with great economic status marries a poor girl with no future toward life but yet they frown if they opposite were to happened.

 

In in many soap operas we see the typically story of the poor girl ending up with Prince charming, look at Cinderella story or Princess Diance (she was poor). Why is that considered normal or not if vice-versa were to happened like in Disney's Aladdin (where the rich princess falls in love and marries a poor guy from the streets).

 

In my opinion I think you should be with someone that's either closer to your economic status or slightly highly. The poor should be with the poor, rich with rich and the middle class (me and many people) can be either with middle class as well or rich but never settling down with a poor.

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I have great confidence in myself that at some point in my life I will be weathly at the rate i'm going and yet I let people with a poor mindset in my life. I don't think of them any lesser than anyone, thats thier choice not mine to be that way. Hey if someone comes along who's from the middle class or so that would be fine by me.

 

Some people want to change and the way to do is not to hang around people of the same status you know. At the end of the day its a mindset. The only thing that truly seperates the rich from the poor is the way they think.

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why do you feel you should dictate who winds up with whom?

I'm not dictating but it's common sense. Why would any rich or middle class person with good economy settle for someone poor with no future. If you're looking for a money provider than get lost, that's not fair for the other person.

Needless to say no I would not want my brother to marry a poor girl with no future, definitely not a house cleaner.

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what does "no future toward life" mean?

It's either someone that didn't study nor went to college after high school or someone that doesn't have a good, stable paying job rather a meager one such as house cleaner, weeping the streets, selling things out on the streets, you get the point.

 

No my brother (who's only 7 now) will not marry a house cleaner nor servant when he grows up one day. And if my parents don't say anything then I will make them break up for sure. I know it's mean but hey I would want the best for him. Only he would never find out it was me breaking them up.

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Needless to say no I would not want my brother to marry a poor girl with no future, definitely not a house cleaner.

 

What if your brother was in love? Wouldn't you much rather him marry someone that makes him happy rather than someone for their socio-economic status?

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Why would any rich or middle class person with good economy settle for someone poor with no future.

 

Two questions.

 

1. How do you know these people are "settling?" Isn't it possible to fall in love with someone despite their economic status? I would rather be with someone who was great to me and had a positive attitude toward life than someone who was the same economic status as me any day.

 

2. Where do you get your assumption poor people have no future? Until I was 13, my family was in severe poverty. You know why? My dad was teetering on the edge of death and had massive medical bills. And we got through it, and now my parents are more wealthy than many people I know because they stuck it out and the lack of ability to provide for their family pushed them even harder in life. So I actually think being poor can be a push to have a better future.

 

IMO, your outlook on it is very flawed. But the only person who's really influenced by your view is yourself, so whatever!

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I'm not dictating but it's common sense. Why would any rich or middle class person with good economy settle for someone poor with no future. If you're looking for a money provider than get lost, that's not fair for the other person.

Needless to say no I would not want my brother to marry a poor girl with no future, definitely not a house cleaner.

 

Wow. Just...wow.

 

The reason why people don't exclusively date people within similar socioeconomic classes is because we live in a society that is upwardly mobile. The state (at least in the US) provides us with k-12 education and, in some cases, higher education. Even some of those poor, stupid lower class people get to go because of these things called "scholarships"!! Who woulda thunk it?!?!

 

Lower class people, just like middle and upper-class people, are human beings capable of thinking intelligently, identifying, and making emotional connections with other people. Have you ever had an ex that was great "on paper", but terrible in real life? Just because someone doesn't have a lot of money or comes from a poor background doesn't mean that they are emotionally or mentally deficient and have less to offer than someone who comes from a wealthy background.

 

I'm not advocating "gold digging" in any form. Is it done? Yes. But it is done by the poor and the rich alike.

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Seems the issue of class is on a lot of people's minds lately.

 

I think there is a blurring going on as far as position in society, class, wealth - and people's character and personal traits.

 

It's somewhat offensive, to me, that others as individuals would be lumped and judged according to their status. It seems very old minded, as well. Something that at one point may have been useful but it doesn't stand the test of experience (at least for me).

 

It's a belief and one that makes me sad every time I hear it, to be honest. The more you believe it the more it'll be repeated.

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Not enough I would want both economy and love. The two ingredients have to be there.

 

But you can't always have both. Say your brother was in a loving, happy relationship with say, a housekeeper. You said you only want the best for him, but that kind of contradicts itself. You break them up, and he'll be miserable. Would that really be the best for him?

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Finding love is already an incredibly difficult task -- limiting yourself to certain socioeconomic groups will only make it tougher. Your "class" should not matter. I won't say that money doesn't matter when it comes to budgeting, spending habits, etc..but you definitely don't have to be of the same economic status to have a successful relationship. Mandating it is borderline elitist.

 

Some people also have futures and goals that are centered around their passions rather than their earning potential. Not every passion pays well. I want to be a lawyer -- and that's good money. But do I frown on a teacher or a house cleaner or some worker in a non-profit agency just because of the amount of money they make? No. They are doing what they want/love to do, and as long as they don't come at me with their hand out or expect me to furnish some lavish lifestyle, then I couldn't care less what they make.

 

"Goals" and "your future" can not be measured simply by one's earning potential. My family is wealthy, but I couldn't date anyone who feels the way you do about this, because by your own definition I should look down on you, and I don't. That's wrong, IMO. Losing faith in humanity...one post at a time, lolz.

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2. Where do you get your assumption poor people have no future? Until I was 13, my family was in severe poverty. You know why? My dad was teetering on the edge of death and had massive medical bills. And we got through it, and now my parents are more wealthy than many people I know because they stuck it out and the lack of ability to provide for their family pushed them even harder in life. So I actually think being poor can be a push to have a better future.

Well that's one exception. I was referring to those that are poor for life and in a twist of "coincidence" find someone wealthy or rich and they fall in love then get marry. Coincidence isn't it?

 

You improve on your own and didn't magically happened to met someone wealthy.

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My family on my mother's side shared your mindset - they believed that once poor, always poor. Most of them are still that way, although a couple made it out. It screwed up my mom for life - she has permanent low self esteem because of it.

 

Whereas my father's side of the family started as poor immigrants from Northern Europe and kept working as hard as it took so that each generation could do better. I was always put in school with wealthier people, better off people, successful people, so that I could see the opportunities ahead of me and dream big. Thank God my parents did that, as painful as it was to be the "poor kid", because I now believe I can be anything I want to be and only myself is in the way.

 

I will marry a guy that I love and who challenges me to be a better person. And he will work hard at something he is dedicated to and passionate about, regardless of what that is, how much he earns, or whatever. The likelihood is that he will be approximately withing 50k either way of my income range because those are the people I seem to encounter and share things in common with so far. Neither end of that range bothers me

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Our cleaner actually does pretty well for herself. She's a single mother with 4 kids and she sends them all to private schools. We pay her $100 a week for a couple of hours of work. She works full-time, so that's quite a few houses per week. She's certainly not rich, but she's doing fine. Better than many people anyway.

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I can understand looking down on someone for seeking out a partner solely based on their income (aka, gold digging).

 

However, what I DO disagree strongly with is your idea that no one should marry anyone above or below their own socioeconomic status. You're implying that any low-middle class person who marries an upper class person is doing so in order to gain access to their money. I do not accept that generalization and I think it's a very narrow-minded one to make.

 

All sorts of people marry all sorts of people, and to try to regulate who can and can't marry is rather classist, imo.

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I'm not dictating but it's common sense. Why would any rich or middle class person with good economy settle for someone poor with no future. If you're looking for a money provider than get lost, that's not fair for the other person.

Needless to say no I would not want my brother to marry a poor girl with no future, definitely not a house cleaner.

 

Sounds like you're assuming class is stagnant. I think that assumption is wrong. And how do you know that a house cleaner has no money saved or other sources of income, and that a rich person could be poor if the stock market declines (which it has) or she loses her job? Having as a goal someone who has similar financial values when it comes to saving, work ethic, etc can be relevant but your focus on class doesn't make much sense.

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But you can't always have both.

Thus why you have to keep on looking. Afterall there are lots of fishes in the tank.

Say your brother was in a loving, happy relationship with say, a housekeeper. You said you only want the best for him, but that kind of contradicts itself. You break them up, and he'll be miserable. Would that really be the best for him?

I know but a break up is not the end of the world. Yes it can take a little while to get over it but eventually you do and once you find someone else than your ex if forgotten already. So he would have already gotten over it by the time he meets another woman. Plus if I were to do that plan I would make sure neither him nor the girl or anyone find out about that. It'll just be my secret.

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Sounds like you're assuming class is stagnant. I think that assumption is wrong. And how do you know that a house cleaner has no money saved or other sources of income, and that a rich person could be poor if the stock market declines (which it has) or she loses her job? Having as a goal someone who has similar financial values when it comes to saving, work ethic, etc can be relevant but your focus on class doesn't make much sense.

Well off course you have to always save money on the bank, which is what I do. It's important to have back up money in case your company goes down or you get fired, that I agree.

However what I don't agree is what many poor who find a rich or wealthy middle class do, they basically rely on them as their provider.

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