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Thread: Should I move country?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2009

    Should I move country?

    Hi all,

    I recently started dating a good friend of 6 years. We've only been dating 3 months but unfortunately he lives in an entirely different country to me. He lives in the Netherlands and I live in Ireland. He speaks fluent English(he works as a translator) but is severely handicapped and moving to Ireland is not really an option for him right now. I believe I love him very much so and told him I would move to the Netherlands to be with him this September. I am very fortunate to have such support from his parents and sister, and even his parents' partners(his parents have separated). There's even a job opportunity for me with his father's girlfriend. I found the idea very exciting for the past 3 months and thought it wouldn't be so difficult.

    I'm currently in the Netherlands on a visit, the longest I've made this year, and it's now hit me how scary this is. I can't speak Dutch yet but I'm eager to learn, but the idea of moving to a country where I don't speak a word of their language started freaking me out. Leaving my friends and family behind, having to start again making friends and finding some common ground. I love the Netherlands, it's such a beautiful country, but to be frank I'm shi.ting myself, I don't think I'm ready for it. Maybe I'm being too hasty with me making such a serious dedication by moving country for a man I've only been dating 3 months yet known for 6 years. Not to mention that I'm only 21 and just finished college. As independent and mature as I try to be I know I'm still naive and childish in some ways.

    I've brought this matter up (kind of) in conversation and I know he would never pressure me into moving. Later on I tried being tough and said "No, I want to move here this September" but now I'm doubting myself again, and I rather not dance around something like this as my indecisiveness may annoy/hurt him.

    Thanks for reading, please advise me well!

    -Pi- xox
    Last edited by -Pi-; 05-22-2009 at 10:06 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2009
    His family obviously approve of you, so you'd have more than one person around to help you adjust from the start. Have you considered starting to learn Dutch while still in Ireland? It would help alleviate some of your fears and also show him that you're serious about the decision. Don't rush yourself, and don't feel bad if you go back on your September decision, I'm sure he'll understand that it's a big step to take.

    Good luck!

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Moving to any foreign country is extremely hard for most, but even harder when you can't speak the language. I admire anyone who can do that. My family and I moved to a different country, but at least it was the same language and it took a full two years to adjust to the different culure and such. We have no regrets, but it certainly wasn't easy.

    Make no mistake, it WILL be tough on you for at least a year or two, but if it's something you really want to do, then you WILL make it and you'll be happy. You have to be 100% sure of wanting to do this, and if you are, then go ahead. You will make it!

    However, that said, if there is any doubt, no matter how small, then I strongly suggest you take your time before making a final decision. Perhaps spend the next year learning the language? Once you are confident enough in speaking the language, you'll be better equipped to handle such a big move.

    I wish you well and good luck!!

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