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Thread: Well, I did it tonight--I Cheated on my Husband

  1. #11

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    Wow, karma is a b****. Why didn't you just kick him out when he came up short?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Miss Firecracker's Avatar
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    I can't imagine, men sending photos of their privates to me in e-mail. Then picking one like candy out of a box.

  3. #13
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    i did pretty much the same thing a month ago.

  4. #14
    Member jet_palero's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by NewLifeforMe
    I have had this overwhelming gnawing feeling ever present of whether I truly wanted to stay married to my husband for the rest of my life. We just celebrated our 25th anniversary last month, but I really don't feel that I am in love with him anymore.
    a real marriage has highs and lows, as i'm sure you know, but may have forgotten.
    I have daydreamed of what it would be like to be with another man (since he was my first and only and I was a virgin when I met him)....and I do feel a little cheated in that department, as he has never been that great of a lover and he has always made fun of his own "small size." I wouldn't have really known any better all these years, but for his own insecurities about it, truly.
    if he is so insecure, its unfortunate you two never thought to have him see a therapist, it might have helped. a lot of people go through life insecure, but they don't have to. there are ways to get help.

    Anyway, all of the above has made me have a "grass is greener" syndrome about what life might be like if I weren't with him anymore and were free to find someone else with more in common with me, perhaps.
    no, you choose to be like that. your husband's behavior may make you unhappy, but how you respond to it is your decision. you have to be an adult and make a decision or you're never be happy. either be with your husband, or divorce him and try to find this greener grass you seek.

    I planned on staying a second night by myself just for some "me time." I don't quite know what got into me, but the morning that I was to leave I actually posted an ad on Craigslist advertising that I would be visiting in that area overnight Sat. night and would be interested in "no strings attached" sex with a man who was basically well endowed....and for anyone to contact me if interested. I had a mailbox full in no time, along with pictures of their "members".....wow.

    This all sounds so very, very bad. And it really is so totally out of character for me.....it truly is.
    I'm not sure I believe you, as you already said you've been having online flings for some time. This is just the first time you attempted to escalate it into the physical world. emotional cheating is still cheating.

    I think in the back of my mind, I was thinking that this was something that I perhaps had to do (have sex with someone else finally in my life) to get the obsession out of my mind and make me appreciate what I have.....and get on with my life. And the fact that it happened while I was out of town and hubby would never have to know would be just icing on the cake.
    Wow. You should reread that and pretend someone your husband wrote it and see how you feel.

    does it still count as cheating?
    Yes.

    So, I think God may have had the last laugh here....the big letdown after the big expectation of grand things........and now I've been unfaithful to my husband after 25 years of marriage. But it still seems to me that it was almost a rite of passage that I felt I had to go through, so I'm not all that remorseful about it, if the truth be known.

    Okay, give it to me. I'm ready.
    You're not remorseful about it. You'll do it again. If you care anything at all for the man you've lived with for 25 years, you'll tell him right now, and pack your bags and get out of his house.

    And maybe, if he's a fool, and you're lucky, he'll forgive you and you two can work on your real problems instead of throwing away the life you built over almost 3 decades.

    You're not a child. Make a decision, one way or the other, and live with it.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Supa_gurl's Avatar
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    Ofcourse it is cheating, and if you don't feel one ounce of remorse then I also think you are extremely lacking in the morals department. My opinion ofcourse. I'm not judging becuase there is only ONE judge.

    I too did some of the same things as you when I was married. Mine never got to that extreme, but I talked to, be"friended", and shared photos, but never met anyone while I was married. To me it was the worst thing in my life I had ever done, and I begged, pleaded for forgiveness. Not from my then husband so much (because he had done some of the same things, save for the photos to my knowledge), but from God. And I know I got that forgiveness.

    Im not preaching just sharing my story. I do hope that you find some resolve in this horrible situation.

  7. #16
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    And like your situation, Abouttime, my husband loves me MUCH more than I love him.....almost clingy so. "Did you miss me today?" "I love you! (every time he turns around)....it really is a turnoff to me, because it shows me his insecurities more than anything else. Deep down, he's scared he's going to lose me (because we've had our problems in the past), and even he admits he's "Needy." Reminds me of a little boy. Yet he tells me how pretty I am and how beautiful his friends have commented to him that they think I am (and I was never one to have a lot of self-esteem in the looks department, ha ha)......and that coupled with the reactions when the men online have gotten my picture when I traded with them have.....unleashed a crazed animal wondering what the heck I'm doing with him, when I could have possibly so much more? So, I hear ya there in that department...

    And will I do it again? Hmmm. You know, sometimes part of me thinks I'm doing this risky behavior so that I'll get caught by my husband and then HE'LL divorce me..........and I won't have to be the one to confront the issue and tell him I'm not happy. I think he's already suspicious lately of all the time I've been on the computer late at night doing the Yahoo IM chats with the guys I was talking to.......he'd make comments like, "Who are you talking to on there, your boyfriend?" Which, of course, only makes him MORE insecure and act like a little needy boy.....and the circle continues.

    I guess things would be better if I could just be honest with him and tell him how I've truly been feeling for sooooo long now......but it would crush him.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by addictedblue
    So...now what? Are you going to find a better looking guy to cheat with, or did that one satisfy the craving?
    Well, I'm good at the moment and kicking myself for the experience....thank you very much...

  9. #18
    Platinum Member ellandroader's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by NewLifeforMe
    And will I do it again? Hmmm. You know, sometimes part of me thinks I'm doing this risky behavior so that I'll get caught by my husband and then HE'LL divorce me..........and I won't have to be the one to confront the issue and tell him I'm not happy. I think he's already suspicious lately of all the time I've been on the computer late at night doing the Yahoo IM chats with the guys I was talking to.......he'd make comments like, "Who are you talking to on there, your boyfriend?" Which, of course, only makes him MORE insecure and act like a little needy boy.....and the circle continues.

    I guess things would be better if I could just be honest with him and tell him how I've truly been feeling for sooooo long now......but it would crush him.
    Whether he loves you more than you love him or not....you are married and you owe it to him to be upfront. To be promiscuous and then let him just find out will be soul destroying and you could ruin his life. I know of a couple this happened to and the fella committed suicide. Even if he is being "needy", he doesn't deserve that. At least let him retain some of his dignity and come clean, even if it means you lose face. After you, you are the one commiting infidelity.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by diabolik
    Wow, karma is a b****. Why didn't you just kick him out when he came up short?
    I don't know. I guess we were already "into" things...and by the time I realized it.....remember, I'm not confrontational.

  11. 05-10-2009, 01:17 AM
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  12. #20
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    I do have to say.....when I was with "Come-Up-Short-Fella" (who actually even slightly resembled my hubby.....I did have a new-found appreciation for him at the time........so perhaps it wasn't all a lost cause.

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