Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: When your girlfriend says she feels she doesn't deserve you?

  1. #1
    Iwantittoend
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    895
    Gender
    Male

    When your girlfriend says she feels she doesn't deserve you?

    What the hell do you say back to that? I hate when she says that, and it's been coming up more and more lately.

  2. #2
    SighSob
    Gold Member SighSob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    732
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    7
    i smell cheating

  3. #3
    vertigoxo
    Platinum Member vertigoxo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    USA
    Age
    26
    Posts
    4,365
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2
    Either she's cheating or has serious issues with herself.

  4. #4
    acinom
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    75
    I don't know if it's cheating but it is definitely some sort of manipulation technique. The next time she says it, reply casually "yeah, you're probably right.". This is not what she expects and if shes planning to leave you she will leave you regardless.

  5. #5
    Iwantittoend
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    895
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by vertigoxo [Register to see the link]
    Either she's cheating or has serious issues with herself.
    Well she's had self-esteem issues since I've known her. She basically hates herself.

  6. #6
    _Asti_
    Platinum Member _Asti_'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Age
    31
    Posts
    4,326
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3
    Well, thats a main problem.
    Sometimes my SO and I say "What did I do to deserve you..." sort of thing, but its during a sweet moment, or more romantic based..not insecure based. And from the sounds of it, she is very insecure and doesn't feel like she deserves someone who treats her well or right. And quite frankly, it may just be a matter of time before these insecurities leach into every area of the relationship.

    She needs to realize that yes, she does deserve you..but that will only come from being secure with herself, and knowing her self worth and what she deserves in life..and only she can do that..thats an inside job.

    Hve you questioned her, probed it further? Asked "Why do you say that? Why don't you feel like you deserve me?" What does she say?
    Or make it known how frustrating or upsetting it is to hear her say that.
    But ultimately, there's nothing you can do or say. She needs to fix herslef and know her personal worth before she can appreciate someone loving her fully.

  7. #7
    Iwantittoend
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    895
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by _Asti_ [Register to see the link]

    Hve you questioned her, probed it further? Asked "Why do you say that? Why don't you feel like you deserve me?" What does she say?
    Or make it known how frustrating or upsetting it is to hear her say that.
    But ultimately, there's nothing you can do or say. She needs to fix herslef and know her personal worth before she can appreciate someone loving her fully.
    Yes, I ask her all the time, and she comes back with things like: "I'm fat, ugly stupid, insecure" etc...

    Then I try to reassure her that I'm fine with who she is but she doesn't believe it. It never ends.

  8. #8
    g84
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Here
    Posts
    879
    Gender
    Female
    The first thing that i would probably think of is self-esteem worries/issues.

  9. #9
    _Asti_
    Platinum Member _Asti_'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Age
    31
    Posts
    4,326
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3
    Of course, because its a problem with herself, and only one she can fix.
    It's just a matter of how much you can tolerate her lack of self confidence, it just doesn't go away by itself, it will take work and effort from her.

    Have you asked her about what she would change? How would she feel if you exercised together? Ate healthier together? Have you tried working on these things with her? Asked her to speak to someone? Does she know how frustrated you are about this?

    In my opinion, someone who doesn't care about thesmelves, or doesn't love themselves cannot accept love and being loved.
    How does she treat you? How is the relationship as a whole?

    This will be a constant battle until she can love and appreciate herself..and there's only so much you can say or do, because this is about her and her fixing and feeling good about herself..if she doubts herself..no compliments will change that because in her eyes, she's still fat and ugly and whatever else she feels, and she can only change that perception through personal work.

  10. #10
    Iwantittoend
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    895
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by _Asti_ [Register to see the link]
    Of course, because its a problem with herself, and only one she can fix.
    It's just a matter of how much you can tolerate her lack of self confidence, it just doesn't go away by itself, it will take work and effort from her.

    Have you asked her about what she would change? How would she feel if you exercised together? Ate healthier together? Have you tried working on these things with her? Asked her to speak to someone? Does she know how frustrated you are about this?

    In my opinion, someone who doesn't care about thesmelves, or doesn't love themselves cannot accept love and being loved.
    How does she treat you? How is the relationship as a whole?
    I try to offer her these options all the time but she usually isn't very receptive. She gives up very easily, which makes the situation 10 times more frustrating. It's like no matter what I say it just won't get better.

    She has her moments when she's great and other times when she's just in a terrible mood. Lately it's been more of the latter, and I'm getting really fed up with it.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Boyfriend went through my phone
2 days ago my boyfriend went through my phone. Normally I keep my phone locked but I forgot and stepped out of the room. We have been in a
Girlfriend Spent the Night at her Ex's
Hi Everyone, I was out of town this past weekend and had limited use of my phone. My girlfriend had some serious family issues transpire. I
Do i have the right to be concerned over this? (flirting)
We have been hanging round with another couple for about a year now. My boyfriend is a very outgoing, flirtatious person naturally but something has
He doesnt like to be confronted or criticized and walks away
Why does my husband walk away from me instead of talking about how I feel. When I confronted him about how he's treating he got angry, ignored me and
Reactions...
My boyfriend of 8 months out of the blue told me yesterday he wants to apply for the police force in the city he is from. He moved to my city to be
Hurtful joking
My bf jokes about things that are very hurtful. Today was probably one of the most hurtful. He tried to grab my breasts and he does this a lot. He's
In need of some helpful advice
I'm in need of some advice as my boyfriend and i Fight/argue over the stupidest things and i cant seem to have an adult conversation with him. last

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My boyfriend doesn't text me as much anymore?
My boyfriend would text me everyday all day and now he won't text me first anymore or at all sometimes. Last night he stopped replying to my text so
Is she the rebound
If he leaves a 17 year relationship to date his High School Sweetheart from 32 years ago, is she a rebound ?
I want to break NC after almost 2 months to invite my ex gf to a concert
We have been in NC for almost 2 months after being together for 6 years. She stopped responding to a text i sent her. I saw she was interested in
Online dating, and why it doesn't work well for most men
We discussed this before, and for some reason people got personal and mean about it. So I have no intention of returning to this thread, but I wanted
PLEASE HELP, boyfriend talks to mom 4-5 times per day, very odd relationship....
Hi guys, Always been hesitant to post my personal business online. Anyways... here it goes... So my boyfriend is amazing...(just to throw this
Hurtful joking
My bf jokes about things that are very hurtful. Today was probably one of the most hurtful. He tried to grab my breasts and he does this a lot. He's
He dumped me and won't return my stuff
So I was seeing a guy for a short amount of time. Out of the blue....he blocked me? Fair enough, I get the message, I think it's rude but
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •