Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: When your girlfriend says she feels she doesn't deserve you?

  1. #1
    Iwantittoend
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    895
    Gender
    Male

    When your girlfriend says she feels she doesn't deserve you?

    What the hell do you say back to that? I hate when she says that, and it's been coming up more and more lately.


  2. #2
    SighSob
    Silver Member SighSob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    731
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    4
    i smell cheating

  3. #3
    vertigoxo
    Platinum Member vertigoxo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    USA
    Age
    25
    Posts
    4,365
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Either she's cheating or has serious issues with herself.

  4. #4
    acinom
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    75
    I don't know if it's cheating but it is definitely some sort of manipulation technique. The next time she says it, reply casually "yeah, you're probably right.". This is not what she expects and if shes planning to leave you she will leave you regardless.

  5. #5
    Iwantittoend
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    895
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by vertigoxo [Register to see the link]
    Either she's cheating or has serious issues with herself.
    Well she's had self-esteem issues since I've known her. She basically hates herself.

  6. #6
    _Asti_
    Platinum Member _Asti_'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Age
    30
    Posts
    4,326
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3
    Well, thats a main problem.
    Sometimes my SO and I say "What did I do to deserve you..." sort of thing, but its during a sweet moment, or more romantic based..not insecure based. And from the sounds of it, she is very insecure and doesn't feel like she deserves someone who treats her well or right. And quite frankly, it may just be a matter of time before these insecurities leach into every area of the relationship.

    She needs to realize that yes, she does deserve you..but that will only come from being secure with herself, and knowing her self worth and what she deserves in life..and only she can do that..thats an inside job.

    Hve you questioned her, probed it further? Asked "Why do you say that? Why don't you feel like you deserve me?" What does she say?
    Or make it known how frustrating or upsetting it is to hear her say that.
    But ultimately, there's nothing you can do or say. She needs to fix herslef and know her personal worth before she can appreciate someone loving her fully.

  7. #7
    Iwantittoend
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    895
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by _Asti_ [Register to see the link]

    Hve you questioned her, probed it further? Asked "Why do you say that? Why don't you feel like you deserve me?" What does she say?
    Or make it known how frustrating or upsetting it is to hear her say that.
    But ultimately, there's nothing you can do or say. She needs to fix herslef and know her personal worth before she can appreciate someone loving her fully.
    Yes, I ask her all the time, and she comes back with things like: "I'm fat, ugly stupid, insecure" etc...

    Then I try to reassure her that I'm fine with who she is but she doesn't believe it. It never ends.

  8. #8
    g84
    Gold Member g84's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Here
    Posts
    879
    Gender
    Female
    The first thing that i would probably think of is self-esteem worries/issues.

  9. #9
    _Asti_
    Platinum Member _Asti_'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Age
    30
    Posts
    4,326
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3
    Of course, because its a problem with herself, and only one she can fix.
    It's just a matter of how much you can tolerate her lack of self confidence, it just doesn't go away by itself, it will take work and effort from her.

    Have you asked her about what she would change? How would she feel if you exercised together? Ate healthier together? Have you tried working on these things with her? Asked her to speak to someone? Does she know how frustrated you are about this?

    In my opinion, someone who doesn't care about thesmelves, or doesn't love themselves cannot accept love and being loved.
    How does she treat you? How is the relationship as a whole?

    This will be a constant battle until she can love and appreciate herself..and there's only so much you can say or do, because this is about her and her fixing and feeling good about herself..if she doubts herself..no compliments will change that because in her eyes, she's still fat and ugly and whatever else she feels, and she can only change that perception through personal work.

  10. #10
    Iwantittoend
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    895
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by _Asti_ [Register to see the link]
    Of course, because its a problem with herself, and only one she can fix.
    It's just a matter of how much you can tolerate her lack of self confidence, it just doesn't go away by itself, it will take work and effort from her.

    Have you asked her about what she would change? How would she feel if you exercised together? Ate healthier together? Have you tried working on these things with her? Asked her to speak to someone? Does she know how frustrated you are about this?

    In my opinion, someone who doesn't care about thesmelves, or doesn't love themselves cannot accept love and being loved.
    How does she treat you? How is the relationship as a whole?
    I try to offer her these options all the time but she usually isn't very receptive. She gives up very easily, which makes the situation 10 times more frustrating. It's like no matter what I say it just won't get better.

    She has her moments when she's great and other times when she's just in a terrible mood. Lately it's been more of the latter, and I'm getting really fed up with it.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
fiance got a lapdance?
so weve been together 3 years hes a lovely guy and we are very close, he went out at the weekend for drinks with his brother then tells me he had a
Not being trusted
Sorry for the long intro... I wasn't sure if to post this in the age gap section as I'm 36 and my fiancee is 23. We've been together for about a
What does this mean?
I'm a 24 year old man and I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years. But I'm feeling like this relationship is built on blind trust
Was I being gamed?
So I have some questions about a past relationship. Friends and confidants a like have told me that they thought my ex-partner was a master
I love him, but I regret moving in together
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years (I'm 33, he's 35). I just moved into his house 2 months ago. It's the house he grew up in. Long
Do I need to get out of this?
I've been in a relationship for nearly a year but there's been some problems along the way. My significant other has been going through the final
Am I crazy???
I have to know if I'm being crazy or not! My boyfriend and I have been in a turbulent relationship on and off for 4 years. When I say turbulent, I

Featured Threads
He took my sisters virginity!
Well.. Here goes nothing. I don't have anyone to talk to and hoping to get some insight. My mind is confused and my heart is completely
Dating after working in the sex industry
Hey all, I'm coming out of a difficult time in my life where i worked as a sex worker. I just wanted some opinions on how to handle this when I begin
My boyfriend hangs out one on one with his ex am I right to feel uncomfortable?
Hi everyone, I posted here before about how my boyfriend and his ex are close friends. Long story short, they date for two years, realised they were
What does this mean?
I'm a 24 year old man and I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years. But I'm feeling like this relationship is built on blind trust
Is this just "The 21st Century Woman?"
For the past 5 years, every woman I've dated (ages 25-32 we'll say) has had to stress to me immediately, before anything gets going, that they are
Venting I guess... I miss having sex.
So... I don't know if there is any real advice that can be given here. But I'm sure people here can at least relate and maybe share their
My boyfriend curses at me but says he's joking?
Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months and while everything has been great so far except that he curses at me but says
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •