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Thread: I'm ready to get married

  1. #1
    Pappers
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    I'm ready to get married

    I'm now at the point of my life when I"m ready to get married, and that is what I am looking for in a relationship. I am 27 and a half.... up till now I just haven't felt the desire to settle down.

    What about everyone out there? Is there an age where you felt ready??

    I'm now a little stressed out cause I'm not sure if my boyfriend is on the same page. And, despite my best efforts (reading how-to-talk-to-men type of books), I've still got conflicting views on how best to address this with him.

    Last edited by Pappers; 04-28-2009 at 07:20 PM. Reason: typo

  2. #2
    Batya33
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    In my experience when a person is in a serious relationship and ready to get married, he or she raises the issue directly and clearly. In my personal experience, the man always raised it first, and it was typically within the first 6-8 months (but he raised it as a general topic -- his goals as far as marriage - within the first few dates).

    I don't think you need a book to tell you how to raise the issue - I would do it simply and directly and with a positive attitude, not apologetic or tentative "I want to know what your intentions are for this relationship because I am ready to [settle down, get married, whatever] and I need to know if you are on the same page."

    If that is not something you can picture saying with any degree of comfort then to me that is answer enough that neither of you is ready for marriage.

  3. #3
    tulipsfav
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    I would have loved to have been married in my early 20s, started a family, things didnt work out like that, 33 and i still havent met mr right.
    Last edited by tulipsfav; 04-28-2009 at 07:34 PM. Reason: wrong spelling

  4. #4
    _Asti_
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    I entered my current relationship years ago with the desire of something serious. We both felt that way.
    I am ready to settle down and am looking forward to taking that step now with my partner, now that I am finished school and looking at the next phase of my life with him.


    I am all about open dialogue about issues, discussing things and keeping the lines of communication open, not necessarily in a way that is done as "I want to get married next week!" but more of a "When do you see yourself getting married..are we on the same page.." and being able to talk about it.

    I think if two people were wanting those things, the dicussion about the topic would occur without having to sweat the topic and how do you bring it up.

    Have you mentioned it, or has this been talked about at all in the past?
    If not, maybe don't make it about YOU. Make it about HIM. What does he see in his future?

    Early on in my relationship, our talks went from "I can see myself getting married after I'm done school if I am committed and ready to move forward.." to "Is US getting married after I'm done school an option?"

    The conversations went from broad and general about our personal goals and visions, and with time changed into OUR visions. But the early on discussions about our personal visions let us know that yes, we ideally are on the same page and the same time line...but the pressure wasn't put on because they were just topics of discussion about things...not laying things in concrete.

    I think that if a person feels a certain way, wants certain things, they can vocalize themselves and talk about it. It doesn't have to be about the relationship you are in, but about what you want as an individual.

    And like said, if you are having a hard time discussing it, maybe that in itself is a clear indication that the relationship isn't ready for a discussion on the RELATIONSHIP goals just yet.

  5. #5
    Aeryn
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    I'm 20 years old right now. I do feel ready to be in a serious, committed relationship. However, I'm not quite ready for marriage at the moment. I need to finish school and start a decent career. Ideally, I'd like to marry somewhere in the 25-27 range, if at all. I'd have to seriously trust the man not to drop me and divorce me at the drop of a dime before going through with it.

  6. #6
    Circe~
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    I was 26 when I decided I was ready to take that step. I knew my H was on the same page at that point in time because we'd talked about it a number of times.

    Initially he casually brought it up by saying things like "oh - such and such friend asked me if I was going to marry you". And I'd say "and what did you say?" and he said "oh i told him if things keep going this well, then yes. Is that alright?"

    lol

    And he also actually asked me if I would marry him before then and I said the timing wasnt quite right for me. We'd only been dating for something like a year and it just felt a bit too soon. It wasnt dont in an elaborate proposal kind of way - it was a "I think it would be really great if you and I got married. Would you be interested in coming to buy a ring with me?" ... and I said it was just a bit too soon but I was hoping for that in the future.

    It wasnt that much later that I felt ready. So I asked him...

    The whole thing completely lacked the elaborate, romantic proposal but I guess I thought the arrival.. at a place in your mind ... when you were ready to marry someone else .. was so romantic that any other gesture was trivial in comparison. I don't know ..

    I say tell him you are ready and don't want to wait that much longer - is he on the same page? If so - should you consider yourselves engaged?

  7. #7
    lana111
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    this year actually, and im 27.

  8. #8
    daydreamer618
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    I'll be 28 in a few months and am on the fence between the long term relationship and marriage. I don't have that loudly ticking biological clock that some girls around my age talk about, so it probably helps keep me balanced there. I've been with my bf for 6 years now, sharing a home for the last 2. There are days when I'm all gung-ho, let's get the marriage license and others where it gives me the willies to imagine committing to this guy (or any guy, to be fair) for life--though those are diminishing over time. I take that as a sign that I'm not quite ready. Out of our families and friends, the bf and I are the reluctant ones. We'd been married eons ago if it was left up to the people who wouldn't be in the marriage!

  9. #9
    Gaea
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    I am 27 and have only recently felt my biological clock ticking, my bf and I have been together for nearly 6 years and it is only very recently that I have been able to know for sure that I wanted to marry him...before that I just wanted to have a good time and didn't want to feel tied down. Now I want him as close to me as possible and never want to be without him...plus my sex drive is at an all new level I feel like I'm 21 again! LOL

  10. #10
    konstantine
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    I'm 23 and I am ready within the next couple of years. I would love to be married young and just enjoy each other for a while. I know that it is in my boyfriend's future plans, and he has mentioned some specifics, but I know nothing will happen for at least a year or so. I am content just knowing that he sees it going there at this point, but once I fully finish school, it may be time to just be upfront with him and ask him if we will be marrying. It's not really something you can tiptoe around because it IS a big deal! Just don't be pushy. Have a neutral conversation of your wants.

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