My fiance packed a condom for bachelor party!

So, my fiance got home from his weekend long bachelor party in a well known gambling city... He spent the whole night drunk dialing me, until about 1am when he said "hang on, I'll call you back in ten minutes" and then abruptly hung up, and then never called back. I chalked it up to him being wasted, no big deal. So, I get home from work today, and his bag is laying there open on our bed and inside is a watch. A watch I've never seen before... it's a mens watch, so I think to myself, "no biggy, someone must have gifted it to him." So curiosity gets the best of me, and I want to see if there's anything else in the bag... And I find a condom. Now, I know the condom wasn't a left over from one of OUR trips, because I packed his bag for his bachelor party, and I sure as hell didn't put a condom in there! So I check it against the condoms we have in our closet; same brand, same type, same expiration dates... so it's obviously from our personal collection. So, what this says to me is he waited until I left for my bachelorette party and then packed himself a condom to go to his bachelor party! Now I'm worried that he obviously expected to be getting laid at is bachelor party?

How should I approach this subject? I don't know what to do... I don't think anything happened because he was on the phone with me all night, but it's the fact that he thought the potential for getting laid was large enough that he may need to pack a "shower cap."

I'm not sure what I need to do here.

Tell him what you found, see what he says about it. Don't accuse him of cheating or the intention to cheat just yet...

Do you know how many condoms were removed from the pack? What I am getting at is that you don't know whether or not he did anything. Perhaps that was a leftover condom and he had taken more than one with. If you talk to him about it I highly doubt that he will fess up to any activity. He might say that he brought it along in case one of his friends needed one. What is your fiancee like? Has he ever cheated on you? Has he ever flirted with other women?

I commend you for seeming pretty calm about this. That is definitely NOT ok. But you need to tell him straight out that you saw one of your condoms in his bag from the weekend and you would like to know why. No accusations yet.

If you think he's capable of it, then I'd question why.

But something to think about..I mean..I carry a condom with me, in my hand bag or purse..its just one of those things I do because sometimes the moment arises with my partner. At any given point, yes I could take that condom out and put it in my pocket if my friends are going through my purse or my bag, and so I put it in my pocket of my jacket or wherever.

If my partner came accross a condom from a pack we're currently using in my pocket, one would perhaps wonder "Why did she take a condom and put it in her pocket on girls night out?"

Sometimes, its NOT what it seems. What if he carried one in his wallet out of habit, or came accross one he had put in a jacket or pair of pants..and when he was leaving for a night out while away..he emptied his pockets or wallet and dumped the contents into the suitcase.

There is no way he can say he took for a friend just in case! Thts absurd...ask him. Have you seen any pics from his party? What kind of person is he? Any trust issues?

There's a 99.9% chance he's either going to say that the condom was left in a side pouch from another trip, or that he tossed in a couple condoms for the other guys, just in case somebody needed one. I'm not sure at all how you're going to get at the truth here. It comes down so much to his personality!

There's a 99.9% chance he's either going to say that the condom was left in a side pouch from another trip, or that he tossed in a couple condoms for the other guys, just in case somebody needed one. I'm not sure at all how you're going to get at the truth here. It comes down so much to his personality!

Exactly, personality and how much you trust him...

There is no way he can say he took for a friend just in case! Thts absurd...ask him. Have you seen any pics from his party? What kind of person is he? Any trust issues?

It may be absurd but people who are desperate to cover their tracks will come up with all kinds of stories. As Keenan said, it will be hard to know what went on that's why his personality and track record is important to factor in to this equation.

It may be absurd but people who are desperate to cover their tracks will come up with all kinds of stories. As Keenan said, it will be hard to know what went on that's why his personality and track record is important to factor in to this equation.

Well, in this case I do hope the OP does not fall for a story like that!

well... i wouldn't leap to any conclusions about that right away....

Perhaps it was peer presure from his buddies to get in "that one last lay" before he ties the knot. Your boyfriend who loves you of course would never cheat on you. However going away for a weekend with the guys, you cant have them making fun of you either. So you bring a condom to shut them up and shoot them reasons why you dont want to have sex with random woman. If you have no reason not to trust him then i wouldnt worry about it too much. His story may sound fishy because he's embarrassed for not standing up against his friends. He was calling you all night meaning that yes he was thinking about you until you cut him off.

Could be a prank too. Guys can pull all sorts of crap on one another

Could be a prank too. Guys can pull all sorts of crap on one another

That'd be heck hard to steal a condom from their stash... would be a bit freaky if the guys went through their bedroom to steal it o_O!!

There is no way he can say he took for a friend just in case! Thts absurd...ask him. Have you seen any pics from his party? What kind of person is he? Any trust issues?

hahaha...that's a good one...lol

This is difficult because lots of guys do have sex at their bachelor parties... mostly oral sex though, from a stripper/hooker hired for the party.

Would that be enough to break you up? I don't think you'll be able to prove one way or another if he had sex at the party, unless he fesses up.

This is difficult because lots of guys do have sex at their bachelor parties... mostly oral sex though, from a stripper/hooker hired for the party.

 

Would that be enough to break you up? I don't think you'll be able to prove one way or another if he had sex at the party, unless he fesses up.

wait, WHAT???? guys get oral sex at THEIR bachelor party??? That is sooo unacceptable, definitly a dealbreaker for me. would they like it the same if their girl get oral from another guy or give oral at their parties??ugh.

I think finding a condom in his bag is a big deal, I would be really worried! you did not pack condom for him, but he packed it later. What can that really mean other than him predicting some kind of sex??!

This is difficult because lots of guys do have sex at their bachelor parties... mostly oral sex though, from a stripper/hooker hired for the party.

 

Would that be enough to break you up? I don't think you'll be able to prove one way or another if he had sex at the party, unless he fesses up.

Now that I've never heard of. The most I've ever heard of was a lap dance. I'd leave a guy I was with if he took a bj like that.

what about the watch though? Maybe some other guy threw some of his stuff in your fiance's bag or you fiance grabbed his stuff that he left behind or something. But if I had had trust issues w/ him before it'd be enough to scare me and question the whole reltionship, unless he could actually prove he didn't, which as the others said is nearly impossible.

Keep us updated.

what about the watch though? Maybe some other guy threw some of his stuff in your fiance's bag or you fiance grabbed his stuff that he left behind or something.

I wondered that, too, but the condom was the brand & style that the OP and her BF use and that they have in their closet....

If the brand and expiration date match, i'm sure it was his condom, not someone else's.

Is he in the habit of carrying condoms in his pocket? If he never does that as a rule, i think there's a pretty good chance he intended to do something at the party. whether he did or not is a different story. he may have felt really guilty once he got there and not done it.

i'd wait til a calm moment and ask him why he took a condom to the party and see his reaction. you might be able to gauge what happened based on that, or he may tell you what happened if he wants to be honest.

i'd wait til a calm moment and ask him why he took a condom to the party and see his reaction. you might be able to gauge what happened based on that, or he may tell you what happened if he wants to be honest.

Yeah, that is all you can do right now.

I hate to say it but if I found something like that the wedding would be called off pretty quickly. There are not many explanations to explain a condom being packed for a bachelor party.

This is difficult because lots of guys do have sex at their bachelor parties... mostly oral sex though, from a stripper/hooker hired for the party.

 

i'm actually becoming more aware that this is true also.

more prevalent than what i thought.

My aunt's divorce was caused by her finding pics (6 years after the fact) of her husband in their shower with 2 strippers from his bachelor party.

That's an extreme case of an extreme jerk- but after hearing things like that I personally wouldn't overlook/dismiss a condom easily.

i'm actually becoming more aware that this is true also.

more prevalent than what i thought.

I missed all that.

But a sneaky aqaintance of mine secretly video taped a bachelor party he attended. After the strippers were done doing there *ahem* act, they went into a back room and were charging for oral. There was quite a line.

It was all on video....couldn't argue with it.

Drunk dialing and a condom....I see nothing but trouble here. I don't care if it was in the original box or not.