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Thread: Do dating sites work for shy people who have never dated before?

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    WorkingInLin
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    Do dating sites work for shy people who have never dated before?

    So, it's getting ridiculous at my age that I haven't even been on a first date. I've always been shy around women, but I'm trying to break out of that now. I'm thinking about joining a dating site, but are dating sites good for people who have no dating experience (especially in their mid to late 20s?)

    I honestly don't know whether to click the signup button, or declare myself celibate and a bachelor for life. I'm having no luck meeting women in real life, since I'm so shy, and they always turn out to be my friend. The dating sites might be a good avenue for meeting women another way, but do they really work?

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    ellandroader
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    I would say they can work, as it kind of forces others to get to know you a bit before meeting, which as a shy guy too, I can understand is difficult in the social arena.

    However you do need a thick skin as you can get rejected on there still, or someone who you email back and forth with may suddenly disappear.

    It's worth a go, just choose a reputable site especially if you want someone serious.

    Good Luck!

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    WorkingInLin
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    Can you recommend a good dating site? I know about Plenty of Fish, but I'm not sure how good that one is.

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    ellandroader
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    Hmmm...the paid ones tend to be the better ones (I don't think you are allowed to name other websites on this board). Anybody seeking a casual fling/hookup is less likely to pay for the privilege in my opinion.

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    steve33
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkingInLin [Register to see the link]
    So, it's getting ridiculous at my age that I haven't even been on a first date. I've always been shy around women, but I'm trying to break out of that now. I'm thinking about joining a dating site, but are dating sites good for people who have no dating experience (especially in their mid to late 20s?)

    I honestly don't know whether to click the signup button, or declare myself celibate and a bachelor for life. I'm having no luck meeting women in real life, since I'm so shy, and they always turn out to be my friend. The dating sites might be a good avenue for meeting women another way, but do they really work?
    Perhaps a religious site, if you've put it off for religious reasons, if just shyness, you're going to have an unpleasant experience and face lots of rejection. How you handle it is the real question.

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    Gyromite
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    I was in a similar situation and started with POF. I looked at it as good practice.

    My advice is that before you start shelling out $20+ a month, sign up with POF and start building a profile. You'll eventually find out what works and what doesn't, and you can get together a good collection of profile pictures to use. Also, you'll get some practice with how to write messages that are more likely to get a response. Finally, you might even get in some practice dates. Once you have a few under your belt and have some idea of what type of person you're looking for (or not looking for), then I would say go ahead give a pay site a chance.

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    MD Geist
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    I would start off with the free dating sites first to see how it works out for you then work your way up to the pay sites.

    Thats what I did.

  8. #8
    WorkingInLin
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    Quote Originally Posted by steve33 [Register to see the link]
    Perhaps a religious site, if you've put it off for religious reasons, if just shyness, you're going to have an unpleasant experience and face lots of rejection. How you handle it is the real question.
    The problem is, while I have no problem with religion, I'm not really religious. I wouldn't have any issue with dating a Christian woman, but she's going to wonder why I don't go to church or why I'm disinterested in it.

    It's shyness that's kept me from dating. And I guess you're right, I'll face lots of rejection. I'm fine with that, as long as I meet someone worth dating and marrying in the end.

    I've signed up with a free site, and I'm working on a profile. I'll have to see how things go, and whether to stay with this prospect.

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    bostonbruins24
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    Quote Originally Posted by steve33 [Register to see the link]
    Perhaps a religious site, if you've put it off for religious reasons, if just shyness, you're going to have an unpleasant experience and face lots of rejection. How you handle it is the real question.
    Why is he going to face a lot of rejections?Is it because he is shy?Or do most guys get rejected a lot on dating sites? No one really knows anyone on a dating site,what happens in person ultimately will decide how it will turn out.How is any woman on a dating site going to know that he is shy and inexperienced unless he tells them?Most women will look at his pic and decide if they find him cute or not and decide to meet him in person,based on his appearance.

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    steve33
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    Quote Originally Posted by bostonbruins24 [Register to see the link]
    Why is he going to face a lot of rejections?Is it because he is shy?Or do most guys get rejected a lot on dating sites? No one really knows anyone on a dating site,what happens in person ultimately will decide how it will turn out.How is any woman on a dating site going to know that he is shy and inexperienced unless he tells them?Most women will look at his pic and decide if they find him cute or not and decide to meet him in person,based on his appearance.
    Dating sites are no different than in person dating. You will face lots of rejection. It's guys that aren't phased by rejection that succeed. You can still meet up and get rejected. It's not all just the picture, but how you connect, and you can only figure that out by meeting. He needs to be prepared to handle rejection. Remember, most relationships, and even more dates, fail. Most dates don't lead to relationships, and the ones that do, most relationships don't last to marriage, and most marriages end in divorce. That's life. Those that handle rejection well win.

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