Online dating...nada!

OK,

Have a good profile and pics. And someone here (servedcold?) advised that for every 10 e-mails sent, expect one back. So between Match and POF, I've sent 17 so far, not one response.

Let me expalin that the number of women who fit my criteria isn't many, and our's is a small rural city. So the new members aren't many.

Can someone enlighten me as to why no responses?

TIA,

KG

From what I understand, women get flooded with emails KG. I have never done on line dating but know men who have.

You have to have a pretty catchy profile to get their attention, that's what they tell me.

You also have to send pretty catchy emails.

Did you try this?

^^^Very honest in profile and e-mails. Have a catchy title, and write interesting e-mails.

Tell them you have a 12 inch dong and the emails will come flooding in! ^_^

how about we try being ourselves and advertise that, instead of something someone would like... not saying you shouldn't put extra effort into the effort

I've never done on line dating....I'm just relaying stories I have heard from other men.

I agree it would be easier if we all could be ourselves.

KG, people probably think you are already married (because you are such a great guy) and don't want to get inbetween a relationship. It happens, and many people have been burned on these sites by married men, and women..

It happens, and many people have been burned on these sites by married men, and women..

=| eep! =/

KG, people probably think you are already married (because you are such a great guy) and don't want to get inbetween a relationship. It happens, and many people have been burned on these sites by married men, and women..

There's a point I never considered...interesting.

KG: That's the world of online dating. As you know meeting women and getting a date is a numbers game. Think from a woman's point of view how many times they get approached in the real world. Now think about by how many times that number must be increased in cyberspace. I'm sure if I were a female on one of those sites it would probably be enough people to make my head spin. They have a lot to choose from so they have the ability to be very picky. So don't let it get you down.

If you're looking for the potential for something serious then the way to balance out this discrepancy is to be equally picky in whom you choose to contact. Make sure they seem like someone with real honest potential. That way any responses you may get will be more likely to be worthwhile and if they honestly seem like a good match then the chances of them responding are probably going to be greater. You've just gotta develop your "cyber-eye". If you're just looking to date then a good strategy is to just blanket the site and see what comes up.

KG, people probably think you are already married (because you are such a great guy) and don't want to get inbetween a relationship. It happens, and many people have been burned on these sites by married men, and women..

Thanks, but my profile says widower, listed under "Dating."

My profile... Fun loving but caring spirit. 54

Me: I enjoy the hard word work of my own business, which creatively and physically challenges me. As a single Dad of a 13 year old son, I certainly know what it's like to juggle the domestic side with the professional, but each has it's own rewards. I'm very involved with my boy, but know how to balance that with friends and loosen up at the end of a hard day....whether that's going to a barbecue and laughing over a couple of beers, or staying at home and cooking up a mean Pork marinade with grilled onions! I'm educated, straightforward, and a polite gentleman who still believes in opening doors and carrying packages. It's in my nature to take care of those around me, but I like a woman who can be independent as well.

Things I like...a nice kayak paddle at dusk, when the lake is glass-like, and the loons are calling. Or four wheeling to a spot that's pefect for a picnic.

In the winter, a snowshoe hike under a full moon. Or watching a movie together with the woodstove going...................

You: Education and a good mind fires me up! Good conversation and debates are things I look forward to. I enjoy a woman who is expressive and likes to engage in talking about life. Someone who enjoys being pampered, but can roll up your sleeves when the occasion demands. Kids are OK, I know it's tough to date and keep them happy.

Slender to medium build is great. You are able to be feminine and earthy as well. You've got a sparkle in your eye, are funny, employed, self-sufficient, with a heart and mind to match.

Age 42 to 50

All I can say is be patient....

I've done online dating and honestly when the going was slim I just pulled my profile from view for a few months... then put it back out there and bam... new things pop up...

Take it for what it is... opportunities to meet people. I as online 2 year ago and I am still in touch with the men I dated then... they weren't the love connection but they were great guys and good friends. I'm still looking but I'm not afraid to go outside my comfort range... make your age range wider... look for longer range distance.

I just met a guy who lives two hours from me... long term potential??? I don't know... certainly not ideal but what a great excuse for use to meet half way and do something in a city I've never been to before... look at it as an adventure!

I never miss an opportunity to say hello to people... sometimes some of the most interesting people are the people who are standing next to you at the airport terminal. I've had some great times with guys I randomly had fights with... I never pursued it but could have. I'm just saying use online dating as a tool for getting out there but its not your only option.... take a cooking class, art class, photography class or go to an interesting lecture... these may not end up in giving you a life long love connection but it will help you brush up on those needed skills when flirting or approaching women that can come in handy later.

Good Luck

KG, no one wrote to me for the most part either when I tried one site out. I was fairly open about who I am and what I didn't want. I landed a guy claiming to be a millionaire, a guy looking to run through the whole kama sutra, and two single dads with households full of kids. I walked away.

Your profile sounds good to me, if I was an outdoorsy person who wanted kids. (you'd probably do well out in my neck of the woods)

Wonder if you should change from "widower" though. Some women worry that they can't measure up to the memories

Your profile sounds good to me, if I was an outdoorsy person who wanted kids. (you'd probably do well out in my neck of the woods)

 

Wonder if you should change from "widower" though. Some women worry that they can't measure up to the memories

 

I hadn't thought of that. But in Match's criteria, you have to check one. This is at first sigh up. So I didn't want to lie.

 

Does anyone else think it would matter?

I hadn't thought of that. But in Match's criteria, you have to check one. This is at first sigh up. So I didn't want to lie.

 

Does anyone else think it would matter?

It shouldn't matter. You can't go into a relationship lying.

Break up the first paragraph a bit. I would move the single dad thing down a little bit as well, even put the second paragraph first. It's important to you, and obviously the most important thing, but I think the order needs to be rejigged. The paragraph needs to be split into a couple of paras at least.

I understand that you don't want a porker, hence the request for slim to medium, but I would be a bit put off that despite being 54 you've specified an age range as younger than yourself.

It's a nice enough profile, KG, but hand on heart, it wouldn't especially stand out to me. It feels a bit general somehow - I'm only sharing my experience from online dating; you get a LOT of emails as a woman, and I would do a very quick scan and make a quick decision. For instance, what business do you do?

I think it could be tweaked a little

HP,

I see the breaking up of the paras...but why can't I not want a BBW, who is younger than me?

I used to put up 'single' but I think its better to put up 'widow', its much easier than explaining that your not actally single but widowed when you do chat to /meet them from my experience as it creates an uncomfortable moment when you do tell them. At least when its out there, its out there and they can make up their own mind.

Also, when looking as a mans status, I look for divorced or widowed as a preference. If I see single I presume that they have never been married especially if they are 40+ and I wonder whats wrong with them lol.

But if you think you might like to try 'single' go for it and see if you feel comfortable with it. If not you can always put widower back up.

I think that servedcold's email reply thing is conversative estimate, I usually respond positively to about 1 out of 30 emails.

I also think your profile is awesome but I also think that you could be missing out/putting off some good women by specifying a particular body shape but don't give up on what you truly want.

Again, why do I have to encourage heavier women to want to date me? I'm slim and toned, and not prejudiced against body sizes. But have never really been comfortable with bigger women.

Again, why do I have to encourage heavier women to want to date me? I'm slim and toned, and not prejudiced against body sizes. But have never really been comfortable with bigger women.

I'm not having a go at what appeals to you. If thats what you want and like in a woman, then thats what you want and like.....

Just trying to put accross that most women have insecurities about their weight even if other people consider them perfect, its just the way we are.

I dont think its encourages fat women by leaving it off but it might bring those insecurities to the front and put off women who you would consider dating from contacting you, thats all.

Again, why do I have to encourage heavier women to want to date me? I'm slim and toned, and not prejudiced against body sizes. But have never really been comfortable with bigger women.

Hey KG --

I read your profile, and I think it's pretty good, though I'm not an expert on online dating by any means, having never done it myself.

As far as the weight and age thing, you absolutely have a right to your preferences...there's nothing wrong with specifying what it is youy are looking for in terms of appearance and age; but, you will find that you will get fewer responses the more specific you get. If I came accross your profile, for example, and I lived near you, I'd think " Wow! This guy sounds really great!" But, when I got to the part about you wanting a "slim" woman, I'd have to pass; though I work out 4-5 times a week and take really good care of myself, I am not "slim" (I'm a size 8-10). I'm defintely not a "BBW," but I would assume I would not meet your criteria, so I wouldn't contact you, as I would assume you were looking for someone more in the size 2-4 range.

So...I think your profile is good, but especially in a smaller, more rural area, you might find the women who meet your criteria are not as numerous as they might be in a larger city, so you might get fewer responses. As far as putting "widower" -- I say be honest. I would not be put off by that, and I think that most women would appreciate your honestly.

I hope you are able to meet some quality ladies. It might just take patience. I applaud you for even trying it. I don't think I have a thick enough skin to do online dating, unfortunately. Hang in there, and keep us posted!

Amipushy,

OK, I can see where you are coming from. But suppose I take that part down, and get contacts from BBW's? Then I have to ignore them, or hurt their feelings by turning them down.

Suggestions welcome, I'm good with advice.

If the site has photos (which I'm assuming it does), and and a lady that you don't find attractive for whatever reason approaches you, make the necessary excuses, or don't respond, whichever you feel most comfortable with.

You can still "filter", but by not originally specifying, you may catch a few goers that you would've otherwise missed, while still keeping true to what you like.

How about putting "toned" instead of "slim"?

To be honest, KG, I think it's just a matter of time before you find someone, but I don't know if you'll find the following useful:

You could widen your age range, which might yield more results. I don't fully understand why they need to be younger than you - when you get to this age range you often find people in their mid-late 50's who are younger in outlook than some people ten years younger, and some look more youthful, too; you could also move the emphasis on your son further down (my initial reading of your profile gave the impression that you're looking for a substitute mother for him, which could possibly put off women with an independent streak).

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting someone who takes care of their body if you take care of yours - it might indicate that you have something in common. Perhaps you could put it like that rather than specifying body size.

Just to add a personal note, I actually fit your criteria in terms of build, outlook and age range. But I'm looking through your profile and thinking 'But what's he interested in? Have we got anything in common? What does he like to talk about?'

Hope this helps!