Hi everyone,Im really conflicted with this.
In my family, there is going to be a funeral or two (predicted) this year.
I dont want to go, because i cant stand the pain. I love these people so much, and i cannot bear to go to their funeral. When i was little i went to my grandma's funeral and was crying really loudly through the whole thing. It was really horrible, for everyone.
I know it will be my last chance to say goodbye, and their official time to rest in peace. So i feel if dont go, i might regret it later. I think my mum and dad and other people in my family might be really insulted and angry if i dont go. But i know if i do, i wont be able to control my heart and ill make a huge scene with my crying and make the whole experience more upsetting for myself, and everyone. It will be really awkward as well, because i never let my family see me cry.. I dont like crying in front of others, and there will be alot of friends of the departed there, and i just dont want to be a part of any of it.
I really really dont know what to do. I dont want to be disrespectful to the loved one that has passed..
Please help me, what should i do???