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Thread: Getting back together really does happen!

  1. #2411
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    I'll add a story that I know, as I've asked for advice, it's only fair.

    Close friend of mine (dumpee) and her feller (dumper) broke up after nearly 10 months. His reasons was she was controlling, but also very insecure and needed reassurance a lot. I know them both and they would always bicker about rubbish but make amends. He ended it, they still spoke on and off for every couple of days (only on texts). Three weeks after the break up (I can't remember who initiated the talk) they got back together, seem a lot happier and still together 3 years after getting back together.

    It goes to show that there are no rules for the healing process. Sometimes distance works, while sometimes some contact works.

    I've noticed that if you want to let your partner know you're going NC, but you can't actually tell them, then there's something in that. If it's your intuition that I should keep the contact, or fear of not hearing from them again, then that's another question.

  2. #2412
    Hey guys, I started reading this thread last year after a ~ 1 1/2 relationship ended out of nowhere. I was distraught and he was posting pictures of his now gf of a year. It was what I needed to go fully NC and move on. This forum helped me get through the rest of a rough college semester, move on, and realize I didn't want him back. I ended up meeting my most recent ex not long after. He broke up with me on Saturday after almost 9 months. It was a shock, but the issue wasn't new. He wants to move to the U.K. and I want to go to medical school. He freaked out over quarantine and started applying for jobs in the U.K. I guess he got a different response than he expected. They basically told him they would take him if he had a year of experience and we weren't in the middle of a global pandemic. Saturday was the first day we really got to see each other in 2 months and he broke up with me as soon as I got in. I miss him. We are very LC right now and are going to meet up on the 25th to talk it out. I don't expect to reconcile anytime soon, but am hoping we can at least talk things out and make a path to becoming friends. Wish me luck.

    I do not have any reconciliation stories, but will make sure to update if it ever happens. Thank you all for now helping me get through 2 breakups, I wish you all luck.

  3. #2413
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. So, getting back together really doesn't happen? What was your user name then?
    Originally Posted by NightSkyBlue
    I started reading this thread last year

  4. #2414
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    Here's a bit of a fairly tale ending for y'all..

    30 years ago, I was dating a NZ girl, and her sister was dating a friend. In 1995, we all went our separate ways, my girlfriend went to the UK, her sister went back to NZ and got married.
    In 2010, I reconnected with both of them - thanks FB - and the sister came out to visit me. On NYE 2011, the friend, the sister, and me and my kids all went into the city to watch the fireworks. The friend ended up staying at my place with the sister, and now they've been married for around 5 years.

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  6. #2415
    Wiseman2 - I wouldnít say it doesnít happen. I didnít post last year, I only read through the forum. The ex I was reading the forum for last year I ultimately realized I was better off without for a lot of reasons and would not take back. Reading this forum was very cathartic when I needed it and helped me realize problems and fix them. It also helped me realize a lot of red flags and that I was more upset with the relationship and that stability ending than losing him. My current breakup is only 4 days old, so only time will tell. Best of luck to you!

  7. #2416
    Member NightFairy12's Avatar
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    Hereís my story... met a guy online and we ended up in a relationship for 2 years. Towards the end I was going out a lot with my friends for girls nights which ended up with me drunkenly making out with a guy I knew from way back when at a club one night. So many people told me not to tell him or throw away my relationship over a drunken make out session but dishonesty isnít my style so I came home and fessed up. During our argument I realized that even though I loved him if I was capable of doing that what else would I be capable of doing as I had no intentions of slowing down with my friends and maybe I shouldnít be in a relationship right now. At that point he was CRUSHED, first because I had cheated on him and secondly bc in the same breath I was telling him I needed to be alone even though I loved him dearly and we had a great relationship. We had light contact over the next 6 years and both had other relationships during this time. Eventually i bump into him one night after going to a known spot he hung out at and sparks rekindled. This time we dated for 3 years and the relationship ended bc he developed a drinking problem. I tried to be supportive and work with him through the problem but after getting arrested for driving drunk and then blaming it on me for him being out drinking in the first place after an argument we had - something in me just died at that point and I no longer saw a future with him so I ended it again. He was devastated as he thought we were going to be together forever (it probably didnít help that this was the second time I was ending it but this time it wasnít me that screwed up). We have remained friends and he has since gotten help to quit drinking all together and is doing great with a new girlfriend who I believe he is going to marry someday.

    Another ex and me had a TERRIBLE tumultuous relationship for 1.5 years where I left due to his manipulation and mind games (borderline emotional abuse) and he ended up coming back a year later admitting how terrible he was to me and seeking another chance to which I said NO WAY. It has been 8 years since that relationship and every so often he pops back up and Iím fairly sure if I wanted to we could give it another go but I wont subject myself to that again.

  8. #2417

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    Hello everyone! I've been reading this thread from start to end over the last few days and it has really made me feel better. My ex broke up with me because of long-distance and some communication issues and I hope one day we can reconcile. This thread has allowed me to reflect back on our relationship and I do think the break-up was needed if we ever stand a chance in the future. If it does happen I hope I can come back and update you guys!

    Some stories I know from people close to me:

    A good friend from university dated her boyfriend from first year to about third year. They broke up because they couldn't agree about things in the future and after that she dated around for a bit. I think they had some contact, but at one point he found out she slept with someone else and they had a massive falling out where he said some awful things. She also said he was a completely different person and expressed to me how much she didn't want to be with him. Around a year later I started professional school and found out they got back together! Unfortunately they broke up another ~7-8 months later because the issues about their future came up again. She said this time they're not even trying to be friends because they know they love each other too much to be in each others lives casually. So maybe down the road they will be able to sort things out! But I never expected them to even get back together that first time.

    My sister worked for a few months in the states (we live in Canada) and while she was there she met a guy and they had a really good relationship for the time she was there. When it was time for her to move back, he broke up with her as he didn't see a point in them staying together (this was two years ago and she was devastated). To this day he still messages her to see how she's doing and they chat once every ~2 weeks or so. He's even mentioned looking for jobs in Toronto, but at this point she is quite over him!

    I had a boyfriend in my last year of highschool and we broke up after a few months. At the time I was devastated, especially since he got a new girlfriend shortly into starting the first year of college. Just a week ago I got a text from him and then another one a few days later (this is 6 years later now) inviting me to hang out. I think if I wanted to I could easily set up a meeting, but it just goes to show that even years later they might be thinking about you.

    A girl I know met her boyfriend in highschool and they were together all throughout uni and then broke up (they were together 6 years in total I think). They've currently been broken up for around 8 months but just a week ago I saw an Instagram story where he was eating with her at her house. Maybe they're just friends but I have a suspicion they will be getting back together soon!

    I have been in no contact for about 2 months now. Each day is getting easier but I still think about him a lot. Hopefully this thread can help others like it helped me!

  9. #2418
    I first read this forum when me and my high school sweetheart broke up back in 2016. I thought he was the worst heart break of my life. He never got back in contact with me and I don't think it would ever interest me. The guy I dated after him though we dated for two years and I broke up with him. He reached out to me a few months after trying to get back together but I declined. Honestly, I believe that reconciliation is always possible if two people truly loved one another, those feelings don't ever truly go away.

    I'm back on this forum because the man I was living with and planning to marry broke it off with me four months ago. We have been on and off during this. He has told me countless times he is done and that we will never got back together. He reached out to me a month ago and we were trying to work things out but unfortunately we had a big fight this past weekend and he is back to not wanting to fix things. I have no idea if he will reach out again at this point because he has broken it off a lot. It's not a success but he came back even when he told me he hated me. I hope that we can figure out how to overcome our issues without him shutting down. He has a lot on his plate right now though so it may never happen for us again. Sadly, timing has to be right for both people. I do want to add that he has broken up with me before a year prior and he came back to me. Who knows, maybe this time it will be for good.

    Here are some personal stories from friends:

    1) My one close friend John met this girl off tinder and they hit off really good. They dated for a few months until he broke it off with her because he said she was too clingy. She stayed in contact with him though. Eventually they got back together after a few months. Now it's been two years ad they are building a house together.

    2) My one friend Sam was pining for this girl that kept telling him she wasn't ready to be in a relationship. She was off fooling around with multiple guys while he waited around for her. Eventually she came to him wanting to be together. I can't remember what happened but they broke up for a short time. He was devastated, but they remained friends. She came back to him again and they are talking about getting a place together. I think it's been almost a year they been back together.

    3) This guy Alex and his girlfriend would always break up and get back together like crazy. They never broke up for too long though. Finally Alex broke it off with her for "good". He went on dating another girl and his ex was dating around. They were broken up for a year and swore they hated each other. His ex posted a picture of them together one night and comes to find out, they are back together again lol They have been back for about six months now.

    Hang in there people! I am a sappy person, I believe you will be with the person you are meant to be with one way or another. Things will work out on its own. I have learned the hard way that NC is the best. You are respecting the other person's wishes and you are not hurting yourself at the same time.

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