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Thread: Getting back together really does happen!

  1. #2401
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    Anyone has stories about people turning 30 and after a LTR (4 years) with a very stubborn dumper?

  2. #2402
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    Originally Posted by CatHeroine
    Anyone has stories about people turning 30 and after a LTR (4 years) with a very stubborn dumper?
    You have to let go of false hope, it stops you from moving forward.

  3. #2403
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by CatHeroine
    Anyone has stories about people turning 30 and after a LTR (4 years) with a very stubborn dumper?
    Those are very specific criteria.

    Your situation is more than your ex just being "stubborn".

  4. #2404
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    Reading through this thread has helped me carry on after my recent break up, so I thought I would share a (sort of) reconciliation story I know of.

    I was talking to my brother the other day and he was telling me about an ex that got in contact with him recently.

    They were together for about 8/9 months and were very in love, talking about a family etc. and serious about each other. They eventually broke up because my brother had told a few lies about his job situation etc. (nothing major, no cheating or anything alike), and she was also getting jealous of one of his best friend's girlfriend who was messaging him at the time for advice regarding his best friend (nothing happened between them it was all just friendly). Anyway she broke up with him and pretty much hated him - told him she didn't love him, didn't want to ever see him again, wanted him to die, blocked him on all social media and was hurdling all the abuse at him. My brother was devastated. Eventually after pleading with her etc. he went no contact.

    About 6-7 months later she messaged him out the blue asking how he was etc. and telling him she missed what they had and if he had kept photos of them two. They spoke briefly but my brother did not enter anything with her because he had already been talking to a girl he was really into. They went back into no contact. Then she popped up again around xmas time and again in January (this month). I don't think they are going to get back together simply because my brother is still pining after the girl he was really into, but the story shows that the dumper did come back to reconcile even though she pretty much wanted him dead at the time of the break up.

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  6. #2405
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    Do anyone have a story where abuse was involved ?

  7. #2406
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I can't imagine reconciling with an abuser.

    Look up the statistics. Men who VOLUNTARILY attend intensive therapy designed specifically for abusers have about a 3 percent success rate of never abusing again. These are men who WANT to stop abusing.

    I bet the success rate for men who are only going to therapy because it's court ordered or to win back their abuse victim is much lower.

    Why do you want your abuser back? That to me is the bigger question.

  8. #2407
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    No because they are usually in jail for breaking the restraining order. Leave her alone.
    Originally Posted by AromaVeggie
    Do anyone have a story where abuse was involved ?

  9. #2408
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Yeah, I got that backwards.

    I would never recommend anyone reconcile with someone who abused them.

    Intensive individual therapy with a professional who specializes in abuse (NOT anger management...totally different issue) is called for. At least a year of this intensive therapy with no attempt to date or to reconcile with your ex.

  10. #2409
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    Hello! This thread was my go-to for such a long time... Then finally I gave up, although my instict always told me its not over. Its been 2 years since my breakup, and even though Im now standing tall and proud, the feeling in my gut never left me.

    Short story, after 2 years, a relationship he had in the meantime, couple of NC periods (couple of months), we are hanging out again.

    I dont want to claim or hope its a reconciliation story just yet, as we are taking it slow and hanging out as friends for now. I need to see who we are now as new people. But things are happening that I never thought they will.
    I wanted to come back here, and write a short update....

    Ill keep you posted how it goes...

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