"If you knew someone was being cheated on, would you tell them?"

I'm making this thread for ODILE.

*If you knew someone was being cheated on, would you tell them?

*If you didn't tell them, would you feel bad just knowing about it?

*What would you do about it?

most likley yes

ignorance is bliss but evreryone wants the truth no matter how painful

*If it was someone I knew and cared about yes. If not, I would probably stay out of it.

*Regardless of if I knew them or not, I'd feel bad for them knowing they're being cheated on and probably don't have a clue

if i knew for a fact i would give the cheater a chance to confess within a short period of time.. and if they didnt comply i would rat them out.

STDs these days...

none of my business but i would tell others about it, not the wife or hubby involved

If it was a friend of mines that was doing the cheating and I wasn't real close to the friend's SO, I wouldn't tell. For one thing, it really is NOT my business. Besides, my loyalty is to my friend, not necessarily to their SO.

I don't like to be the bearer of bad news.

- If I was close to this person than I would tell them.

- If not, I would stay out of it. It really isn't my business to get involved.

I would feel bad about keeping it to myself, but the truth will eventually come out in time. Who's to say that the person will believe you even if you told them? They can possibly try to use it against you.

If it was someone I cared about, I'd say something.

If it was someone who I was friends with, but not good friends, I'd probably keep my trap shut.

It also depends on how sure I was that there was cheating going on. Unless I heard it from the horses mouth or saw it myself, I probably wouldn't say anything.

If it was a good friend, I'd tell them.

I've been cheated on before and one of the things that hurt the most is that everyone knew about it, but never bothered to tell me. It makes you feel like all these people are laughing at your stupidity or feeling sorry for you behind your back.

*If you knew someone was being cheated on, would you tell them?

Like a few other posters, I'd DEFINITELY tell someone if it was an acquaintance or better. With a friend, I would be brutally honest. Someone I knew less well, I might say something like..."I didn't realise that you and so&so had an open relationship", and take it from there.

As much as I'd feel bad for a stranger, I'd struggle with figuring out a way to tell them.

The last part of my answer to makes me feel like a hypocrite, though, because even if

I had to hear it from a stranger, I would MUCH rather hear it than not.

*If you didn't tell them, would you feel bad just knowing about it?

Yes, very much so.

*What would you do about it?

(see above) Oh, and if it were someone that I knew who was the cheater, and I didn't know the S.O. at all, then I might start avoiding that person.

(seems cowardly, doesn't it?)

if i knew for a fact i would give the cheater a chance to confess within a short period of time.. and if they didnt comply i would rat them out.

STDs these days...

That's a good point too.

I would be more likely to confront the cheater and tell them that either they do or I do.

It really depends on my relationship with both persons involved.

There's something about "not my business" thing that rubs me the wrong way. Probably because I grew up in a small town... so everything is everybody's business. lol. I would tell them if they were a good friend. If they weren't a good friend, I'm not really sure what I'd do. I think I would try to hint it at the very least. I know I would want people to tell me, even if they were a stranger. It's humiliating not knowing when EVERYONE else knows.

if it was a friend then yes... if I didn't know them, maybe send an anonymous letter?? But if I knew them, yes, definitely! I'd want someone to tell me if they knew something I didn't for sure. Truth hurts, but I'd rather know it in order to deal with it.

If it was someone I cared about, I'd say something.

 

If it was someone who I was friends with, but not good friends, I'd probably keep my trap shut.

 

It also depends on how sure I was that there was cheating going on. Unless I heard it from the horses mouth or saw it myself, I probably wouldn't say anything.

Pretty much what I would do as well.

Yes I would tell. Imagine youre in a relationship and your partner cheats on you and people know but u dont and they dont dare to tell you or they think you have to find out your own. I would be very pissed ! - So Id tell ppl just the way Id want ppl to tell me. But only if It was 100% that theyre cheating!

people probably dont want to get involved in the potential 'drama' if they dont know either parties that well. or they would feel 'intrusive' or out of place or 'awkward'

i dont crave drama, but i dont avoid it and generally it doesnt bother me at all if it isnt 'close to home'

PsychGirly, do you know the girlfriend?? Even if I didn't know her very well, I think I'd tell her (but keep in mind it would probably ruin your friendship with the bf)... but then, he doesn't sound like a very good person to be a friend with anyway, so... cut your losses?? IDK, I truly believe that cheating comes out anyway, so eventually even if you don't tell her, she will find out (hopefully, though, before they marry if they do so).

If I knew he was cheating and they got engaged and she still didn't know, then I'd DEFINITELY try to warn her what she was getting herself into - no matter what her relation to me (even if she was an enemy!) - no one deserves that.

No... I learned a hard lesson when the cheating husband came after me with a knife at my office's parking lot.

Yes I would tell. Imagine youre in a relationship and your partner cheats on you and people know but u dont and they dont dare to tell you or they think you have to find out your own. I would be very pissed ! - So Id tell ppl just the way Id want ppl to tell me. But only if It was 100% that theyre cheating!

It's not that black and white in a lot of cases.

First of all, there is always a chance that you are wrong.

There is always the chance that your friend knew about it and becomes angered at you for 'trying to ruin her relationship'.

There is always a chance that other people will see you as a homewrecker.

Unless I was close to the person, it's just not my place to be in their affairs. It's pretty hard to get out of someone's drama, so, I'd rather not place myself in it to begin with.

No... I learned a hard lesson when the cheating husband came after me with a knife at my office's parking lot.

thats what happened on the show 'cheaters' apparently its a cheaters weapon of choice.. to get all stabby. lol

No... I learned a hard lesson when the cheating husband came after me with a knife at my office's parking lot.

OMG, are you serious?

What happened next?

I mean, if they broke up, it's possible that you saved this woman's life.

thats what happened on the show 'cheaters' apparently its a cheaters weapon of choice.. to get all stabby. lol

the host of that show disturbes me.....

I would and I have. It was a very hard choice as the guy was my best bud in highschool and the girl is my current best bud. I did keep it a secret for while and felt crappy for it, then she had suspicions and I told. Very long story, do not have time to get into it here, but I do not regret my choice.

Yes, I already have. There's a twist to my story though. I was the 'other woman' and didn't even know, because the guy pretended to be single, so when I found out he had a girlfriend I stopped seeing the guy and sent an email to the girlfriend warning her that her boyfriend was cheating. I posted a thread about this and a lot of the posters attacked me for doing it and said I was being malicious. I think you should tell, because the person being cheated on will probably find out eventually, and it can save them from wasting time on the cheater any longer. Plus, if I was being cheated on and someone knew, I'd like for them to tell me.

PsychGirly, do you know the girlfriend?? Even if I didn't know her very well, I think I'd tell her (but keep in mind it would probably ruin your friendship with the bf)... but then, he doesn't sound like a very good person to be a friend with anyway, so... cut your losses?? IDK, I truly believe that cheating comes out anyway, so eventually even if you don't tell her, she will find out (hopefully, though, before they marry if they do so).

 

If I knew he was cheating and they got engaged and she still didn't know, then I'd DEFINITELY try to warn her what she was getting herself into - no matter what her relation to me (even if she was an enemy!) - no one deserves that.

This thread wasn't made for me.

ODILE asked these questions in a different thread, so I made a separate thread.