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Thread: I'm tired of always being hurt & heart broken.

  1. #1
    Ms.Lady
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    I'm tired of always being hurt & heart broken.

    Today I ended things with a man who obviously didn't care about me. He just wasn't that into me. What hurts and angers me even more was that when I decided to call things off on the phone today, all he can say was if that's what I really wanted to do,I should do it. As if he didn't care. He told me goodbye and that was that. I just have a mix of emotions at the moment,I'm angry,I'm tired,alone and just sick to my stomach. I can't stop crying.

    I always seem to run into men that either leaves me,lose interest in me,hurt me in some shape or form or cheat on me. So I have to ask myself, maybe the problem lies within me. I think after today, I just give up. If I have to be a lonely old woman by myself so be it. I highly doubt I'll find a man that will love me and respect me that way I deserve.I never seem to find a man. I've been hurt and lead on so much, I can't even tell the good or the bad anymore. I can't tell if a man is sincere in his feelings. I'm so used to being lead on and fed lies and then being hurt.

    My self worth and self esteem constantly takes a nose dive with every failed relationship. It's as if I'm not good enough for anybody. I feel like I'm not pretty enough,not interesting enough. I don't understand, This guy I liked made me feel good in the beginning and then he changed,got distant and flaked out on me. I don't get why I can't see the signs earlier.. I always fall for the crap they give me.. I just want to be loved.. Just once.. that's all. Lonely days here we go again ...

  2. #2
    yankeefan74
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    I'm sorry that you're hurting...and I know that you're dealing with a lot of emotions right now that are not fun to cope with at all.

    But I have to applaud you for having the strength to end the relationship since you saw that it wasn't working.

    One thing to think about is that there aren't always signs "earlier" -- this is why it is a good idea to take time to get to know someone. The longer you spend with someone, the less likely it is they can constantly show you that "good" side we all see when a relationship starts.

  3. #3
    yahha42
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    Don't give up because guys who may not be secure with their own selves don't understand your worth. You sound so much like me it's scary. When you go through enough hurt you get to a point where you just say "forget it". A lot of us do.

    You thought of something that a lot of would avoid too and I'm commending you on this.

    "maybe the problem lies within me"

    When there is a "pattern" in something, it's best to figure out what it is and change it if you don't like it. I too have seen a pattern in the men I've talked to and realized it IS something within me.

    You seem like someone who has a lot of love to give. This current guy obviously didn't deserve it and I think you made a good decision to let him go. You care about yourself good enough to drop someone who is emotionally unavailable to you. Many of us won't do that and stay in the relationship regardless if it hurts us or not.

    This really holds true. When you have a lot of love to give and people come into your life not understanding it's worth, it might be a good time to just step back and focus on loving yourself. In that process you might realize where the pattern is coming from.

    Hang in there, Ms. Lady

  4. #4
    ellandroader
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    Hang in there....speaking as someone who just left a situation parallel to yours, I know how hard it is, trust me. As nonsensical as it sounds, some people just don't know how to receive love and affection. The problem is with them, not you, you can only do your best and give what you feel you should.

    Take it easy, we're all reading here so feel free to share/vent.

    Dan

  5. #5
    Rosee
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    Have you ever talked to a professional about the difficulties you have in relationships? Sometimes getting an outside perspective from someone who knows what they are talking about can be helpful in identifying why you have tended to end up with non committal men and also how to prevent yourself from repeating the same thing over and over.
    Also it's understandable that your self esteem has been affected so maybe a therapist can give you some help to build it back up, then you will be in the best position to make good decisions.

    I guess one of the things to do is when you meet someone is try to keep some perspective and logic about things and not let yourself get swept away too early, because guys who are like this tend to progress things very quickly in the beginning and then go cold when their feelings dissapate.
    If you are an emotional or sensitive person then it can be very difficult because your feelings tend to cloud your judgement..I am like this and I tend to feel things more intensely and get hurt easily..you aren't alone.

  6. #6
    ladybug726
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    I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I can empathize. I had to dump my ex fiance because of this. It felt so amazingly painful and crappy... You're the dumper but you feel like the dumpee. In my case, my ex had to move temporarily to another country for work. He decided it was more important to party, meet new girls, etc than carry on with me. After talking me into taking him on a trip I couldn't afford. "I don't feel like being in a relationship anymore." and then had a new girlfriend 2 weeks later.

    If it makes you feel any better, mine came crying back to me every single month since the break-up (it's been 6 months). I don't want a guy like that though, so I'm sticking with it. Damn it felt so good lol. Hopefully you'll get your dumpee karma and he'll realize what he's missing. You deserve that karma!

    In the mean time, be good to you and rebuild your self esteem. Maybe take some time to learn how to enjoy being single and analyze why you find yourself with these guys.

    Edit to add: To help your perspective... MANY supermodels and gorgeous actresses have been cheated on. Doesn't mean they aren't beautiful, smart, or charming enough. It means they chose poorly.
    Last edited by ladybug726; 03-14-2009 at 03:21 AM.

  7. #7
    canali
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    I think you have hit the nail on the head with your realization that 'maybe something lies within me'....ultimately how we respond comes from within so if you are choosing emotionally unavailable neglectful or cold men then yes you have a pattern started from some past hurt neglect or need to compensate....at least it sounds like that...if you wish to get to a different place you have to start operating in a different way to get there....maybe speaking with a professional is as suggested a worthwhile investment.
    Last edited by canali; 03-14-2009 at 04:10 PM.

  8. #8
    canali
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    'i just want to be loved...lonely days here we go again'....that says a lot about your sense of hurt and emptiness....go speak to someone sweets to help you heal by looking at your patterns & beliefs to start becoming a happier person ..try too getting and giving love in other ways ie through those who really need it and will better appreciate it ie for the next little while perhaps by volunteering and/or from meeting new people and forming new potential friendships...so many people get involved mistakenly with the wrong person out of loneliness ...stop this pattern and have a look inside for a while with a professional.
    Last edited by canali; 03-14-2009 at 04:37 PM.

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