Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: I'm tired of always being hurt & heart broken.

  1. #1
    Ms.Lady
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    345

    I'm tired of always being hurt & heart broken.

    Today I ended things with a man who obviously didn't care about me. He just wasn't that into me. What hurts and angers me even more was that when I decided to call things off on the phone today, all he can say was if that's what I really wanted to do,I should do it. As if he didn't care. He told me goodbye and that was that. I just have a mix of emotions at the moment,I'm angry,I'm tired,alone and just sick to my stomach. I can't stop crying.

    I always seem to run into men that either leaves me,lose interest in me,hurt me in some shape or form or cheat on me. So I have to ask myself, maybe the problem lies within me. I think after today, I just give up. If I have to be a lonely old woman by myself so be it. I highly doubt I'll find a man that will love me and respect me that way I deserve.I never seem to find a man. I've been hurt and lead on so much, I can't even tell the good or the bad anymore. I can't tell if a man is sincere in his feelings. I'm so used to being lead on and fed lies and then being hurt.

    My self worth and self esteem constantly takes a nose dive with every failed relationship. It's as if I'm not good enough for anybody. I feel like I'm not pretty enough,not interesting enough. I don't understand, This guy I liked made me feel good in the beginning and then he changed,got distant and flaked out on me. I don't get why I can't see the signs earlier.. I always fall for the crap they give me.. I just want to be loved.. Just once.. that's all. Lonely days here we go again ...

  2. #2
    yankeefan74
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Central New York
    Age
    43
    Posts
    593
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    I'm sorry that you're hurting...and I know that you're dealing with a lot of emotions right now that are not fun to cope with at all.

    But I have to applaud you for having the strength to end the relationship since you saw that it wasn't working.

    One thing to think about is that there aren't always signs "earlier" -- this is why it is a good idea to take time to get to know someone. The longer you spend with someone, the less likely it is they can constantly show you that "good" side we all see when a relationship starts.

  3. #3
    yahha42
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Age
    33
    Posts
    37
    Gender
    Female
    Don't give up because guys who may not be secure with their own selves don't understand your worth. You sound so much like me it's scary. When you go through enough hurt you get to a point where you just say "forget it". A lot of us do.

    You thought of something that a lot of would avoid too and I'm commending you on this.

    "maybe the problem lies within me"

    When there is a "pattern" in something, it's best to figure out what it is and change it if you don't like it. I too have seen a pattern in the men I've talked to and realized it IS something within me.

    You seem like someone who has a lot of love to give. This current guy obviously didn't deserve it and I think you made a good decision to let him go. You care about yourself good enough to drop someone who is emotionally unavailable to you. Many of us won't do that and stay in the relationship regardless if it hurts us or not.

    This really holds true. When you have a lot of love to give and people come into your life not understanding it's worth, it might be a good time to just step back and focus on loving yourself. In that process you might realize where the pattern is coming from.

    Hang in there, Ms. Lady

  4. #4
    ellandroader
    Platinum Member ellandroader's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    1,002
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    Hang in there....speaking as someone who just left a situation parallel to yours, I know how hard it is, trust me. As nonsensical as it sounds, some people just don't know how to receive love and affection. The problem is with them, not you, you can only do your best and give what you feel you should.

    Take it easy, we're all reading here so feel free to share/vent.

    Dan

  5. #5
    Rosee
    Silver Member Rosee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    493
    Gender
    Female
    Have you ever talked to a professional about the difficulties you have in relationships? Sometimes getting an outside perspective from someone who knows what they are talking about can be helpful in identifying why you have tended to end up with non committal men and also how to prevent yourself from repeating the same thing over and over.
    Also it's understandable that your self esteem has been affected so maybe a therapist can give you some help to build it back up, then you will be in the best position to make good decisions.

    I guess one of the things to do is when you meet someone is try to keep some perspective and logic about things and not let yourself get swept away too early, because guys who are like this tend to progress things very quickly in the beginning and then go cold when their feelings dissapate.
    If you are an emotional or sensitive person then it can be very difficult because your feelings tend to cloud your judgement..I am like this and I tend to feel things more intensely and get hurt easily..you aren't alone.

  6. #6
    ladybug726
    Silver Member ladybug726's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    300
    I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I can empathize. I had to dump my ex fiance because of this. It felt so amazingly painful and crappy... You're the dumper but you feel like the dumpee. In my case, my ex had to move temporarily to another country for work. He decided it was more important to party, meet new girls, etc than carry on with me. After talking me into taking him on a trip I couldn't afford. "I don't feel like being in a relationship anymore." and then had a new girlfriend 2 weeks later.

    If it makes you feel any better, mine came crying back to me every single month since the break-up (it's been 6 months). I don't want a guy like that though, so I'm sticking with it. Damn it felt so good lol. Hopefully you'll get your dumpee karma and he'll realize what he's missing. You deserve that karma!

    In the mean time, be good to you and rebuild your self esteem. Maybe take some time to learn how to enjoy being single and analyze why you find yourself with these guys.

    Edit to add: To help your perspective... MANY supermodels and gorgeous actresses have been cheated on. Doesn't mean they aren't beautiful, smart, or charming enough. It means they chose poorly.
    Last edited by ladybug726; 03-14-2009 at 02:21 AM.

  7. #7
    canali
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    748
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    5
    I think you have hit the nail on the head with your realization that 'maybe something lies within me'....ultimately how we respond comes from within so if you are choosing emotionally unavailable neglectful or cold men then yes you have a pattern started from some past hurt neglect or need to compensate....at least it sounds like that...if you wish to get to a different place you have to start operating in a different way to get there....maybe speaking with a professional is as suggested a worthwhile investment.
    Last edited by canali; 03-14-2009 at 03:10 PM.

  8. #8
    canali
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    748
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    5
    'i just want to be loved...lonely days here we go again'....that says a lot about your sense of hurt and emptiness....go speak to someone sweets to help you heal by looking at your patterns & beliefs to start becoming a happier person ..try too getting and giving love in other ways ie through those who really need it and will better appreciate it ie for the next little while perhaps by volunteering and/or from meeting new people and forming new potential friendships...so many people get involved mistakenly with the wrong person out of loneliness ...stop this pattern and have a look inside for a while with a professional.
    Last edited by canali; 03-14-2009 at 03:37 PM.

  9.  

Top Threads
Exhaustion and Sadness vs Depression
There are days when this whole heartbreak thing is too much to deal with. I'm exhausted. Do you have those moments when you just feel like no
Bad to Worse....Please Make it Stop
Yesterday I got a subpoena from my husband's attorney for three years of my texts and emails and a full history of all my Facebook. ....Insert
He contacted me...
If you guys need a recap, please check out my previous posts. It's all really messed up (moving in with him after 7 years, him cheating on me after
I fell off the wagon. 😒
My curiosity got the better of me and I unblocked my EX from facebook to see what she had been up too. She doesn't post anything public so there
Is it normal to feel sorry for my EX's new boyfriend?
My EX having a new boyfriend is old news to me. So I long ago worked through the feelings of being "replaced", how quickly she found someone else
HELP how do i begin to heal :(
So- I was seeing a man for about a year. Truthfully, he did a lot of things that hurt me or made me unhappy-it was selfish stuff, he took advantage a
1 step forward 10 steps back. Becoming exhausted.
6 weeks now since we broke up. Last week I was feeling pretty good, I had found out she had already moved on and yes it hurt but it gave me a kind

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I didnt know this was cheating until i saw how much it hurt him
So my boyfriend and I have been together 8 months. It's been pretty close to perfect over all until last weekend. We trusted each other before this
Interview Vibes
Hello, eNA! I have posted a few times about my career search - thank you all for the help! I've been having a lot more luck lately and have four
Ex from seven years ago married
My ex from seven years got married in November 2016 he began dating this girl eight months after dumping me.hiw have I found this out? By the
❌Did i just get stood up????❌
A few weeks ago this guy and i started texting. It was a pretty instant interest right from the start, on both ends. He kept telling me how
HELP My boyfriend blocked me after an argument
Almost 3 weeks ago me and my (EX) boyfriend that ive been seeing for about a year had a huge explosive and petty fight over him being selfish/ self
My wife has zero trust in me
So we have been married for about 8 months now, everything was fine prior to marriage. From the day we got married to today, it has been a living
21, in a relationship and sexually frustrated
I'm 21 (female) and I'm dating a 28 year old. Ive had my round of men before him so I know exactly what I like during sex and he's PERFECT. But what
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •