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Thread: !!

  1. #11
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    the "Wow, I reallly" is a reply to sayWhen

    and the

    the "Pier and familial" was a reply to BeStrongBeHappy

  2. #12
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    for She'sTooSmart:

    I have told my current relationship partner that I have no guarantees as to where this is leading. I do feel that there is a possibility that I may be willing to live with her.
    I am very indecisive and afaraid (call me chicken)

    Part of me wants it but another part sees so many possible perils.............

    Thanks

  3. #13
    Platinum Member top bloke's Avatar
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    A womans loving in this life can never compare to cold steel. What experiences we enjoy here are what count. There isnt a bed made for cars and money..pffft i can make it if i choose.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member SayWhen's Avatar
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    No one is perfect. However, that is not generally why marriages fail...marriages fail because individuals can be too greedy/unmotivated in terms of wanting to make the effort to look past those imperfections, or to at least work with their partner on them. People are too focused on me, me, me...and there is nothing wrong with that when you are single...but once you are committed to someone else and keep that mentality (and so many people do), you are doomed for failure...because you simply DO have to give up some freedoms and compromise quite a bit...which can leave individuals feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied. I have always said...you have to look at what you gain from the relationship, and if that is worth more to you than what you miss from singlehood, then you are good to go...however...very few people look at it like this and simply think they should get married just because it is "the thing to do." No wonder the divorce rates are so high...so few people understand what they are getting into, and forget their vows in favor of their own wants and needs. I actually commend you in a way that you can at least recognize that perhaps marriage is not for you...and believe me, many women do feel the same.

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  6. #15
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    Repy to Jul-els.............

    I have always thought of myself as not wanting to get married for reasons of:
    feeling that I 'should" be married, or just to have kids.
    Rather I want a deep love connection and marriage would be a natural result .......but
    I have so many fears that I think that I will have to be pushed. Women always push so I don't trust it.
    If I love someone I think then I'd allow them to push me. I feel love for my grlfriend but I see her needs for being american and her possibil disability (blindness in the future) get scared.

    On the issue of being alone.......

    Between my creative endevors (Music, Composition and Art) I like to have people in my life.......I have many long term projects that I want to accomplish.........
    It can be viewed as a cop-out or as a full life ..........anyone's guess............

    beStrongHappy:

    I need to be strong .....to physically work out and these indecision's are less of a problem..............

    Thanks

  7. #16
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    I see many women as much about "me" as men or more.
    When women say "do you love me", I hear "say you love me!"
    when women say "where is this leading" I hear "get rid of spontaneity in your life"

    When I hear of courts being pro women (usually) I hear society saying "marry and gamble big"

    When I see married women congregating I see a winning team enjoying
    vctory.

    There seems to be war out there but men don't see it.

    I see the truth...........and it sound negative I know.

    It seems to me that women don't want marriage but rather what marriage does for them in America.
    In many other countries, women are sold, forced uneducated, forced to marry, and divorce rate is accepted as high. It seems as though marriage is a business with benefits and women don't naturally want it, nature shows that some many or most spicies are promiscuous, and not monogamous (correct me if wrong). Also,
    marriage is for those who have little personal goals.......it may be neurotic, freud said that the personality iself is neurotic, is marriage as well?

    In America, our "culture" imposed by the consumer media mentality displays a "happy family" as the model
    for us to emulate, while the tax revenues from all of it's activities and the soldiers born are it's motivation.

    Whew.......................am I accurate?

    Liz taylor said after many divorces: " I like relationships but not marriage."

    Thanks
    Last edited by mannyOfHoboken; 03-03-2009 at 03:17 PM. Reason: addendum

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by top bloke
    A womans loving in this life can never compare to cold steel. What experiences we enjoy here are what count. There isnt a bed made for cars and money..pffft i can make it if i choose.
    Please tell me of your personal goals and how you plan to keep them up if married?

    Thanks

  9. #18
    Platinum Member SayWhen's Avatar
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    Society certainly does influence certain "expectations" and "goals." Sometimes that alone is the motivating factor behind marriage. However, sometimes marriage occurs from the natural progression of commitment between two people who actually do want to honor the vows of matrimony. Your descriptions do describe some, but not all. For me, marriage was never a goal. It was never something I even thought about until I met my SO and suddenly I wanted to make that commitment to him. We do have plans to marry in the future...maybe two or three years from now. I was bitter about marriage because of how I saw it impact so many of the people who I knew...but that doesn't have to be all there is to marriage. Some marriages are well founded and happy. However, if you are that opposed to it...why not just stay single or in a relationship, but not married? Nothin' wrong with that...

  10. #19
    Platinum Member top bloke's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=mannyOfHoboken;3192554]Please tell me of your personal goals and how you plan to keep them up if married?

    Thanks
    Haha..my personal goals are to enjoy every moment that we are given ...not to take this life for granted . Apart from that I dont need material wealth to be happy but spiritual wealth.

  11. #20
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    You should seriously reconsider investing your feelings in anyone who tries to push you into a direction you don't feel comfortable with. That is not a loving action. It's a selfish one.

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