help!

so...25years we've been together, 3 kids, pretty average life. Lots of ups and downs as of late more downs. Lots of stress this last year for the 2 of us. I'm now trying to convince myself to hold on to life just a little longer, let my 2 girlls graduate but I dont feel like I can make it. Our sex life has been good but hes stopped touching me, stopped kissing and has no explanation. We talked about it tonight for the first time and he cant come up with why he feels this way. I come up with a few things...not attracted to me anymore, physically or emotionally. Should I leave. I'm physically sick to stomach right now.

Have you tried some marriage councilling? It may be able to find the problems and bring back the spark..It is worth a try..especially after 25 years . Maybe he needs help? Maybe you both do and just didnt realise it...

Whens the last time you two went out somewhere nice together just to get a connection going again?

I don't think you should leave or let go of your life until you have at least tried to make things better. Talk to your partner, try marriage counseling. Relationships are always a lot of work, especially if there are children involved, and it's always best to try to work out the problems instead of just running away from them.

Your children & their future are your #1 priority until they are adults at 18. After that, you are free to do as you please. Until then, grow up and be a mother and let them have a father. Let your kids be somewhat normal and understand what love and family is all about.

The things you are complaining about are selfish and extremely ridiculous. My recommendation to you is to call Dr. Laura or check out her website. You need relationship advice that will make your life much more enjoyable and rewarding long term.

You have no clue how much you, and everyone else around you, are headed for disaster right now. You have children, your own children, that you gave birth to, where you are their everything. Their frickin' everything!!!! Does that mean anything to you?

Others on this forum will argue me, because they don't do the math for you, your family, and the children long term. Where is the heart for your own children who need parents long term?

everyone at some time or another feels that their sex life has fizzled out because of either health, worry, etc. I agree with counseling. But I also think that you two need to start "dating" eachother again. Go out just the two of you somewhere fun or nice or have a weekend getaway with not too much of an itinerary planned.

Also...keep in mind that it might not be "you" or "him" per se. If work has gotten extra stressful at all - either in his position or the way the company is going, money issues (kids approaching college $$), etc even if you don't talk about them can be killer.

My marriage ended because while i was willing to look for light at the end of the tunnel, my husband refused to look at it. The stresses of money, pressure from his family, his health, lack of work was all pushing down on us and our marriage gave out. It was really sad....but i think that with some great kids and 25 years, you have something worth working out. And even with my parents - they have gone through rough times but a few years later things changed and they can't believe they ever thought that they wouldn't make it

Please understand that your ego and your actions may have the impact of determining your children's future. Think long term heavily before divorcing your husband because you are not "attracted" to each other. You guys sound like you are divorcing due to selfishness. Your child will likely pay heavily for that.

Sounds like you both need to find things to spice up your marriage. Don't throw in the towel yet. You say that this year there was a lot of stress for both you. External stresses out of your control? Those kind of stresses can sap all your energy so that your life seems boring and unfulfilling, including the marriage. Most long-term marriages find themselves in this rut at least once...this is a test of the strength of your marriage. Both of you can get through it with open dialogue and the willingness on both sides to work at it.

I would assume that your husband is in his 40s if you've been married 25 years, and at that age, many men start to have erectile dysfunction and rather than admit to you he is having a medical problem with his penis, he may just avoid sex entirely.

But Viagra can go a LONG way to solving that problem, so your husband should visit his doctor to get checked out to see if he is either depressed or has a hormone or medical problem that can be fixed with medication.

I would also strongly suggest you get marital counseling to make sure that leaving is what you really want to do. Perhaps if you love life is suffering due to stress, if you can improve the stress you can get back the spark.

You may in the end decide to leave, but getting counseling first will help you both decide if that is the right answer, and help you part amicably rather than bitterly.