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Thread: I fear I've made a huge mistake -- moving in...

  1. #1
    Member RyanD333's Avatar
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    I fear I've made a huge mistake -- moving in...

    ...and it's only been a few days.

    All my better judgement told me not to do it, but I did.

    I've had issues with the lack of physicality in the relationship, I thought moving in may make her open up more, be more physical, give herself to me. Thus far, the opposite has happened. Our sex life is abysmal. I've tried over and over to talk to her about it, but it never gets better. She has every excuse in the book. I think she just doesn't like sex very much. Moving in hasn't changed that.

    I thought I could have more "me" time, because I could bring my stuff with me, and do what I enjoy (games, foreign movies, reading, writing) and she agreed, now she says I'm "isolating" myself. I feel more detached from my life than ever.

    So now what? I make this HUGE step and I'm flooded with doubt, guilt, and regret, after like four days.

    I'm laying here, next to her, feeling all alone, wishing I never did this.There is no way I can EVER be happy in a relationship this devoid of physicality.

    I don't know what I was thinking.

    Help! Now what?

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    First of all Breathe.
    Second of all, she doesn't sound like a good woman.

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    Platinum Member Cognitive_Canine's Avatar
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    When you mean physicality, do you mean sex?

    What do you two do? (physically and romantically)

    When was the last time you were out on a date?

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    How easy would it be for you to move out?

    Do you think that her feeling isolated is why she won't have sex with you?

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    Member RyanD333's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by debaser_wolf
    When you mean physicality, do you mean sex?

    What do you two do? (physically and romantically)

    When was the last time you were out on a date?
    I mean the overall scheme. She is very cold, rarely hugs, never kisses, no snuggling, nothing. Sex for her is like climbing mount Everest. She complains of pain in her hips and joints, and her lack of sex drive. She CLAIMS she did like sex, before all of that....

    This weekend, both drank, both had fun, nothing came of it.

    I've a very snuggly person and I love sex. I've never been in a relationship like this. I think moving in was desperation on my part because I love her. Trying to make something of nothing.

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    Platinum Member Cognitive_Canine's Avatar
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    I couldn't be with someone who wasn't affection. I am like you, I love snuggling, being intimate, kissing, hugging.

    Have you talked about the lack of affection?

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    Member RyanD333's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DN
    How easy would it be for you to move out?

    Do you think that her feeling isolated is why she won't have sex with you?
    No, I do everything I can for her. Cook, clean, rub her when she's sore, help her with everything in her life. God knows I'm not isolated from her.

    We've had multiple arguments/discussions about physicality and it never ever improves.

  9. #8
    Member RyanD333's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by debaser_wolf
    I couldn't be with someone who wasn't affection. I am like you, I love snuggling, being intimate, kissing, hugging.

    Have you talked about the lack of affection?
    So many times it's pathetic. She'll try and touch me more for a few days then it ends.

    The sex never improves. We are like on a once in five weeks timing now, and it's awful when it happens. i have to practically beg.

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    OK - so my first question was - how easy would it be for you to move out?

  11. #10
    Member RyanD333's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DN
    OK - so my first question was - how easy would it be for you to move out?
    Easy. I'm financially independent and my old roomies would have me back no problem.

    It just seems like a monumental failure to do that so fast. But I'm miserable.

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