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Thread: I fear I've made a huge mistake -- moving in...

  1. #31
    Silver Member MyheartorHis's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by orangetemple
    Why exactly do you love her?
    I'm wondering the same thing.
    Sounds to me like she treats you like crap. Maybe you need to really think about things... branch out from what you normally think of her to get the full picture. You're an attractive guy, it's not like she's the only woman who would give you the time of day (sounds like she really doesn't anyway).

  2. #32
    Silver Member MyheartorHis's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RyanD333
    You're 100 percent correct. Summoning the courage to do that four days after moving in seems impossible however.
    If you delay moving out you'll just find more reasons to stay thus making things even worse for you.

  3. #33

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    Originally Posted by RyanD333
    You're 100 percent correct. Summoning the courage to do that four days after moving in seems impossible however.
    Not impossible. Difficult, gut-wrenching and highly upsetting.

    But not impossible.

  4. #34
    Member RyanD333's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by orangetemple
    Why exactly do you love her?
    I fell in love with her at first site really. We met on a journey abroad with school to Sweden. She was a graduate student. She's smart, educated, well-traveled, from a good home, and drop-dead cute.

    She also just got out of a marriage that ended after two months. Her side of the story is he was impotent (they waited until marriage) and he snapped when coming back from Iraq. That's her side of the story. Apparently his inability to perform created a rift between them. He couldn't get it up, apparently.

    Also, she has graves disease and no thyroid, which she says makes her always tired, and always in pain in her joints, which affects her unwillingness to have sex. Of course, she has no issue doing OTHER physical activities.

    Keep in mind I accepted her divorce, sickness, situation, and supported her 100%

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  6. #35
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    Originally Posted by RyanD333
    I've done these things ten-fold. I've warned her it will be the end of us. I've met her parents and you hit the nail dead-on--they are NOT affectionate physically. At least not in public. I don't want her to constantly hang on me. She's never ONCE rolled over in bed and just latched on to me. She NEVER initiates hugs. She won't even kiss me with her mouth open anymore. She says she finds it "gross."

    As far as sex, the last few times have been me begging, her pulling her panties down and laying there. It's pathetic. I've never been in a relationship with someone so aloof with sex.

    I think that is a sure sign that she isn't feeling a romantic love for you as she used to. Open mouth kissing with your partner is a very intimate experssion of love and if she used to do it and now isn't, this is probably a bigger warning sign that she isn't feeling romantic love for you then the lack of sex. I knwo that sounds odd, but for many the passionate kiss is harder to feign with someone you are no longer romantically attracted to than sex.

    You mentioned she is so gorgeous - perhaps your reasons for loving her are entirely physical and a bit superficial. If the only thing endearing one can find to say about why they love their partner is she is drop dead gorgeous then the relationship is in real trouble. I don't want to sound condescending but maybe you are not in understanding of what true love is? True love for smoeone usually yields a contented feeling because that person makes you love yourself - doesn't sound like this is happening for you, or her.

  7. #36
    Member RyanD333's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DN
    Not impossible. Difficult, gut-wrenching and highly upsetting.

    But not impossible.
    I fear I'll buckle. If I make the decision, it's going to be hard to follow through. I need to figure out how.

  8. #37
    Silver Member MyheartorHis's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RyanD333
    I fear I'll buckle. If I make the decision, it's going to be hard to follow through. I need to figure out how.
    Stop thinking about her...
    Think about what's BEST for you. What will make YOU happier? What will make things better for YOU?

  9. #38
    Originally Posted by RyanD333
    I fell in love with her at first site really.
    Ryan imagine your girlfriend for a minute. The inside of her, her attitude, her lack of affection, her tiredness, her everything. Imagine this same character as an physically ugly woman.

    I think you are in love with her appearance.

  10. #39
    JadedStar's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by orangetemple
    Ryan imagine your girlfriend for a minute. The inside of her, her attitude, her lack of affection, her tiredness, her everything. Imagine this same character as an physically ugly woman.

    I think you are in love with her appearance.

    I thought the same thing. I wondered if she were very plain or not very attractive and acting this way - would his tolerance levels be even much much less??

    Even the most beautiful of people get pretty ugly after being with them for years of unfulfillment. I have seen men with beautiful wives who were like this - untouchable, and after they have been married three to five years they don't act like they can even stand her anymore. Ryan, you don't want to become one of those guys one day.

  11. #40
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    Originally Posted by RyanD333
    She also just got out of a marriage that ended after two months. Her side of the story is he was impotent....... his inability to perform created a rift between them.
    Don't feel guilty about moving out and leaving this relationship for the reasons you site. She didn't.

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