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Thread: I fear I've made a huge mistake -- moving in...

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Cognitive_Canine's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RyanD333
    So many times it's pathetic. She'll try and touch me more for a few days then it ends.

    The sex never improves. We are like on a once in five weeks timing now, and it's awful when it happens. i have to practically beg.
    But, have you talked about it? How do those conversations go?

    I also agree with DN that you should move out until this is resolved. It's miserable to be in a situation like that.

    However, I'd open the floor for conversation first.

  2. #12

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    Sometimes mistakes are better corrected sooner rather than later.

  3. #13
    Member RyanD333's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ForsakenLove
    How was sex life before moving in? Was she as distant before? Maybe she is apprehensive about you moving in. How long have you guys been together?
    She's the one who wanted me to move in. Our sex life has gotten worse and worse and worse. I thought it may be because she felt I wouldn't commit. I thought moving in might help. It isn't.

  4. #14
    JadedStar's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RyanD333
    So many times it's pathetic. She'll try and touch me more for a few days then it ends.

    The sex never improves. We are like on a once in five weeks timing now, and it's awful when it happens. i have to practically beg.
    Sad to say sometimes when you do this much for a person who is non reciprocal they take you for granted more and more. I hate to suggest stopping these little tihngs, but maybe try that for a bit.

    But i do suggest moving out. The first week should be the most fun week of a new move in. If you are this miserable and feel this alone it wno't improve.

    I think you need to have a dead serious conversation with her and tell her you think moving in was a big mistake and that you would like to move out. Tell her that if you two continue dating either some changes are made or you are out completely. It is ok to let her know you did not sign up for a relationship deviod of a sex life.

    I would never beg for sex. If you have to go that far, it is time to think about exiting this relationship entirely. Might be a good wake up call for her for future relatioships;. IF you continue to live this way it reinforces to her that it is ok.

    When i read your posts I am reminded of the saying "once they have caught their fish...."

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  6. #15
    Member RyanD333's Avatar
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    The thing is I really love her. That's the cruddy part. I feel tormented when we are at odds, yet I'm utterly miserable now. What the hell?

    I'm so physically frustrated it's unreal. Other girls are beginning to catch my eye again.

  7. #16
    JadedStar's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RyanD333
    The thing is I really love her. That's the cruddy part. I feel tormented when we are at odds, yet I'm utterly miserable now. What the hell?

    I'm so physically frustrated it's unreal. Other girls are beginning to catch my eye again.
    Well you know this is a HUGE warning sign and proof that love is not always enough to save a relationship.

  8. #17
    Member RyanD333's Avatar
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    I've done these things ten-fold. I've warned her it will be the end of us. I've met her parents and you hit the nail dead-on--they are NOT affectionate physically. At least not in public. I don't want her to constantly hang on me. She's never ONCE rolled over in bed and just latched on to me. She NEVER initiates hugs. She won't even kiss me with her mouth open anymore. She says she finds it "gross."

    As far as sex, the last few times have been me begging, her pulling her panties down and laying there. It's pathetic. I've never been in a relationship with someone so aloof with sex.

  9. #18
    what id give to have a hug from the man who has left me.

    I was brought up in a hugsy household, and i think if you are not used to physical affection then i guess you dont see a need for it.

    I really dont see how you can fix this ,because it seems that affection is just not innate in her... Like you say , maybe for a few days, and then nothing.

    i really think this is a dealbreaker. You cannot live with this.

    HOWEVER:

    Sit doen with her one more time, and tell her exactly how you feel. Dont let her make you feel guilty for wanting sex.

  10. #19
    Oh!! and just saw your photo, you are very cute, very huggable, how on earth could she not want to snuggle you?? lol

  11. #20
    Silver Member MyheartorHis's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RyanD333
    No, I do everything I can for her. Cook, clean, rub her when she's sore, help her with everything in her life. God knows I'm not isolated from her.

    We've had multiple arguments/discussions about physicality and it never ever improves.
    Move out and stop doing crap for her. My ex was just like you, and I acted just like her. In reality- I broke up with him after a few months of me acting like that. I finally realized that I wanted to be with him because he was an amazing guy... but I didn't love nor like him how I used to which was why I didn't want to be affectionate at all towards him. I ended up hating to say I love you and stuff... it's an aweful feeling.

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