Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: What does he REALLY mean when he says "Stop contacting me'?

  1. #1
    SJKRAUSE
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    17

    What does he REALLY mean when he says "Stop contacting me'?

    My ex lover has been telling me for the post few weeks to NEVER contact him again. I am having a problem with NC. I keep trying to call and text over and over. Sometime I get a one word reponse like "Stop". I admit it's gotten out of control and I appear psycho. He has said, Stop, Leave me alone, Don't ever contact me again, You're insane, - you get the idea.

    Today he told me if I change my behaviour, maybe he will change his thought of me. He said MAYBE MAYBE he will contact me if he wants to talk, but my actions have not helped my cause.


    I know he's moving on and I am ok with that. It has little to do with him finding someone else, I expect that and can accept it as that is normal.

    What hurts the most is that he can forget the good times and has no desire to remain friends or to give it some time to heal and then catch up as friends.

    Given what he said, do you think if I back off there is a chance I will hear from him eventually?

  2. #2
    DivineNess
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    new york
    Age
    31
    Posts
    62
    Gender
    Female
    who broke up with who and what was the cause? what is it that he wants you to change?

  3. #3
    SJKRAUSE
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    17
    he left me becauase he said I was getting to emotional, however I think that was just an excuse to cover what he was feeling, which was too emotional. I flipped out by all standards, and that is what he wants me to change - except it's over and stop acting obsessive!

  4. #4
    CAgirl
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    628
    Gender
    Female
    I really think that you need to respect his privacy and space. If he told you not to contact him, you have to stop...otherwise it comes off as harassment.

  5. #5
    DN

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    42,515
    Thanked
    5
    What does he REALLY mean when he says "Stop contacting me'?
    I think it best to assume he means he wants you to stop contacting him. So you should do exactly that.

    If he wants something else - he will let you know.

    In the meantime, assume the relationship is over and start the getting over him process.

  6. #6
    dreamwarrior
    Platinum Member dreamwarrior's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Somewhere In Time
    Age
    51
    Posts
    1,730
    Gender
    Female
    Don't call him, write, e-mail him, text. If he said leave him alone then do it...worry only for your happiness, health, finances....leave him alone...the more your push better believe it...the more he is going to be angry and ignore you.

    There are more important issues in the world to think of at this moment than him...people are losing their jobs by the thousands...so concentrate on keeping yours (if you have one) and bettering yourself.

    Best of luck and good wishes to you.

  7. #7
    MyheartorHis
    Silver Member MyheartorHis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    465
    Gender
    Female
    I would be pretty mad if I told my ex to stop trying to contact me over and over yet they still did over and over. I did that to one of my exes during high school - major mistake. Whatever we still had that could've been fixed, I screwed it up because I DID let my emotions get the best of me and I kept trying to talk to him even when he told me to not to. He wants space... give him space. It hurts like hell, but you have to do it.

  8. #8
    Salicia
    Silver Member Salicia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    North Carolina
    Age
    27
    Posts
    554
    Gender
    Female
    Stop contacting me. That is basically cut dry. Give your ex some space that he can appreciate and I don't mean just going a day or two without somekind of contact.

  9. #9
    JadedStar
    JadedStar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    On a star far, far away...
    Posts
    16,143
    Thanked
    1
    Please stop contacting him! For starters it isn't healthy for YOU. Secondly, he is starting to view you in a very negative and poor light by him having to continue with STOP and him saying you are acting psycho. You will lose your dignity if you don't stop. Take him at his word and don't hope for hidden meanings that he still wants the contact. No means no.

    It is unhealthy on a number of levels to continue to contact him.

    I am very shocked that considering the heatedness of his responses and his saying STOP! and saying you are acting psycho that you would tihnk that he secretly wants the contact.

    Whether or not if you stop and he contacts you again in the future should be moot. You should not hear from him at all to aide in your healing. Those little emails here and there will keep you in an emotional state of upheaval.

  10. #10
    greensleeves
    Platinum Member greensleeves's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    2,920
    Gender
    Female
    He means he wants you to stop contacting him.

    I just read your other threads about this guy and you refuse to take anything he says to you at face value. He told you he doesn't have the same feelings for you that you have for him and you refuse to believe that. He hasn't told you he loves you, but you believe that he does. He's told you to lose his contact info. and you keep contacting him.
    You've also said some very cruel things to him, so I think that he's justified in not wanting to any further contact with you.

    I'm sorry that you're hurting, but do him, and more importantly, yourself a favour and let him go.

  11. 01-15-2009, 08:29 AM
    Reason
    I think I sounded too harsh.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
New here. Difficult task ahead today.... any support would be welcome
Hi all, I am new here. I was directed here by a friend after my bf of 1.5 years broke up with me. I am struggling for two reasons. One, our
Ex texts at 5am (probably drunk) saying "You up?"
Theres probably a million of these nonsense posts on the forums, but i was wondering what we should do when you get this text having not seen or
My ex boyfriend is weird
Well here it goes , Me and my ex boyfriend dated in 2012 and broke up at the end of 2012 , he dated someone new but he then dumped her , and we got
Made a huge mistake....
I found this site and the people on it such a great help last July when my ex broke up with me. I've got myself into a bit of a pickle and really
need some help..
my ex bf messaged and asked me if i wanted to get lunch and talk normally.. i know this means he is open to friendship for sure. but is there a
"The unfinished business" excuse
hi, just wondering what everyone opinion on this is. i met a girl awhile ago and talk everyday and had plan to go a movie this week. tonight i
Still have feelings for an ex 5 years later
Hey, my situation is a little complicated basically 5 years ago I was in a long distance relationship with a guy, I can honestly say he changed my

Featured Threads
He took my sisters virginity!
Well.. Here goes nothing. I don't have anyone to talk to and hoping to get some insight. My mind is confused and my heart is completely
Dating after working in the sex industry
Hey all, I'm coming out of a difficult time in my life where i worked as a sex worker. I just wanted some opinions on how to handle this when I begin
My boyfriend hangs out one on one with his ex am I right to feel uncomfortable?
Hi everyone, I posted here before about how my boyfriend and his ex are close friends. Long story short, they date for two years, realised they were
What does this mean?
I'm a 24 year old man and I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years. But I'm feeling like this relationship is built on blind trust
Is this just "The 21st Century Woman?"
For the past 5 years, every woman I've dated (ages 25-32 we'll say) has had to stress to me immediately, before anything gets going, that they are
Venting I guess... I miss having sex.
So... I don't know if there is any real advice that can be given here. But I'm sure people here can at least relate and maybe share their
My boyfriend curses at me but says he's joking?
Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months and while everything has been great so far except that he curses at me but says
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •