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Thread: What does he REALLY mean when he says "Stop contacting me'?

  1. #1
    SJKRAUSE
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    What does he REALLY mean when he says "Stop contacting me'?

    My ex lover has been telling me for the post few weeks to NEVER contact him again. I am having a problem with NC. I keep trying to call and text over and over. Sometime I get a one word reponse like "Stop". I admit it's gotten out of control and I appear psycho. He has said, Stop, Leave me alone, Don't ever contact me again, You're insane, - you get the idea.

    Today he told me if I change my behaviour, maybe he will change his thought of me. He said MAYBE MAYBE he will contact me if he wants to talk, but my actions have not helped my cause.

    I know he's moving on and I am ok with that. It has little to do with him finding someone else, I expect that and can accept it as that is normal.

    What hurts the most is that he can forget the good times and has no desire to remain friends or to give it some time to heal and then catch up as friends.

    Given what he said, do you think if I back off there is a chance I will hear from him eventually?

  2. #2
    DivineNess
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    who broke up with who and what was the cause? what is it that he wants you to change?

  3. #3
    SJKRAUSE
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    he left me becauase he said I was getting to emotional, however I think that was just an excuse to cover what he was feeling, which was too emotional. I flipped out by all standards, and that is what he wants me to change - except it's over and stop acting obsessive!

  4. #4
    CAgirl
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    I really think that you need to respect his privacy and space. If he told you not to contact him, you have to stop...otherwise it comes off as harassment.

  5. #5
    DN

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    What does he REALLY mean when he says "Stop contacting me'?
    I think it best to assume he means he wants you to stop contacting him. So you should do exactly that.

    If he wants something else - he will let you know.

    In the meantime, assume the relationship is over and start the getting over him process.

  6. #6
    dreamwarrior
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    Don't call him, write, e-mail him, text. If he said leave him alone then do it...worry only for your happiness, health, finances....leave him alone...the more your push better believe it...the more he is going to be angry and ignore you.

    There are more important issues in the world to think of at this moment than him...people are losing their jobs by the thousands...so concentrate on keeping yours (if you have one) and bettering yourself.

    Best of luck and good wishes to you.

  7. #7
    MyheartorHis
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    I would be pretty mad if I told my ex to stop trying to contact me over and over yet they still did over and over. I did that to one of my exes during high school - major mistake. Whatever we still had that could've been fixed, I screwed it up because I DID let my emotions get the best of me and I kept trying to talk to him even when he told me to not to. He wants space... give him space. It hurts like hell, but you have to do it.

  8. #8
    Salicia
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    Stop contacting me. That is basically cut dry. Give your ex some space that he can appreciate and I don't mean just going a day or two without somekind of contact.

  9. #9
    JadedStar
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    Please stop contacting him! For starters it isn't healthy for YOU. Secondly, he is starting to view you in a very negative and poor light by him having to continue with STOP and him saying you are acting psycho. You will lose your dignity if you don't stop. Take him at his word and don't hope for hidden meanings that he still wants the contact. No means no.

    It is unhealthy on a number of levels to continue to contact him.

    I am very shocked that considering the heatedness of his responses and his saying STOP! and saying you are acting psycho that you would tihnk that he secretly wants the contact.

    Whether or not if you stop and he contacts you again in the future should be moot. You should not hear from him at all to aide in your healing. Those little emails here and there will keep you in an emotional state of upheaval.

  10. #10
    greensleeves
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    He means he wants you to stop contacting him.

    I just read your other threads about this guy and you refuse to take anything he says to you at face value. He told you he doesn't have the same feelings for you that you have for him and you refuse to believe that. He hasn't told you he loves you, but you believe that he does. He's told you to lose his contact info. and you keep contacting him.
    You've also said some very cruel things to him, so I think that he's justified in not wanting to any further contact with you.

    I'm sorry that you're hurting, but do him, and more importantly, yourself a favour and let him go.

  11. 01-15-2009, 09:29 AM
    Reason
    I think I sounded too harsh.

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