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Thread: Annie's Journal of Dating and Body Hair Removal

  1. #21
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    ^^^ I think that's a good point. unfortunately, a lot of my hobbies tend to be more female centered - like dance and yoga. i'll see in the summer, maybe i can join some sort of co-ed sports team???

    So, strange. Last night, I was panicking because I left on a machine at work. I called work, and one of my co-workers I knew was there. He wasn't answering. I knew that if I didn't hear back from my co-workers within half an hour, I would have to go back to work and turn the machine off myself so it didn't get damaged from being on for too long (sigh. so annoying.) anyways, while I'm waiting for a co-worker to call me back, I get a text message. I was hoping it was from my co-worker, but no, instead, it was from S, that guy i went on a date with 2 weeks ago. my first thought was, "I don't want to hear from you! I want to hear about the status of the machine!"

    why do guys take 2 weeks to call again after a first date? they just can't be all that interested, huh? S was probably busy dating other girls, and when no one else satisfactory crossed his path, he decided to text me, right? bored one night.

    whatever.

  2. #22
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    Yes, you're correct about him. "S" was chasing another romantic interest that turned him down. A few of my friends do the same and expect women they ignored to date them afterwards. I wouldn't bother with him since you deserve better.

  3. #23
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    lol, and the fact that i was more interested in hearing the status of a machine than from S is also telling. honestly, S wouldn't be more than a friend to me, after all this time. but then again, i have plenty of other friends too, and i didn't join link removed to make new friends.

  4. #24
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    was chatting back and forth with some guy, but i can't say i'm all that interested in him. he writes me an email saying it's hard to get to know someone over the internet, so he gave me his number and said, "call me if you want." to me, that's a turn off. just so passive. how about instead, "I'd like to talk to you so we can get to know each other better." sigh. i guess i'm not all that interested in this guy.

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  6. #25
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    I'm sure you know but, to reaffirm the point, when my single guy friends and I discuss dating we only chase the women we are into; thereforee, you took the correct action. Have you tried to meet guys at your HOA meetings? How about as a volunteer? I meet quite a few at a mentally challanged fund raising events. Does your town have a local symphony?that's another great place to meet people.

  7. #26
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    at my HOA, not much going on there. some cute single guys my age, but they didn't seem too interested. i'll keep your other suggestions in mind. especially when i have more time on my hands, maybe i can explore those options.

  8. #27
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    Annie been following your journal. I want to point out something I get from some of your posts, and I hope you are not offended. I see a lot of 'black and white" thinking in your
    ideas of dating. Like...if he hasn't called me within two days, he can't be all that interested. In the ideal world yes..that's probably true, but life is not black and white.In fact it's probably mostly gray. You are still extremely young. Dating is MEANT to be fun, and not every man you date is going to act a certain way we THINK he should. Once you start putting every single person in a box and labeling them, you are limiting your possibilities.

    This guy S that called you took two weeks. Why does that mean he automatically is
    dating other women?? What if he is?? You met him on a dating site. You were dating other guys too. This does not make him a jerk or a bad person. If he called you the next day chances are you would have called him desperate, and wishing he would have waited longer.

    My point here is that as soon as you have an expectation in your head about how things SHOULD be or how they SHOULD play out, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Sometimes just letting things happen with no expectations is all you can do. This is NOT to say you shouldn't HAVE standards, it is just saying go with the flow
    and to not crucify someone because they don't live up to your idea of how they should be.

    Hope you aren't offended by this. Just thinking outside the box.
    Last edited by Sweet Venus; 02-04-2009 at 11:04 AM.

  9. #28
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    hi - no, i'm not offended. i've had other people tell me that too - that people don't always react the way you expect them too. i know S was dating others, we mentioned that on our date. and that's ok.... but i guess i just took it as a sign of disinterest (or low interest) if he waited 2 weeks to write. I actually really like it when a guy does call the next day, or a few days after our date. i dunno - after so many years of crappy, stand-offish bfs, i do really like it when a guy does express his interest strongly.

    but i'll definatley think about what you've said.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by annie24
    hi - no, i'm not offended. i've had other people tell me that too - that people don't always react the way you expect them too. i know S was dating others, we mentioned that on our date. and that's ok.... but i guess i just took it as a sign of disinterest (or low interest) if he waited 2 weeks to write. I actually really like it when a guy does call the next day, or a few days after our date. i dunno - after so many years of crappy, stand-offish bfs, i do really like it when a guy does express his interest strongly.

    but i'll definatley think about what you've said.
    Thanks Annie....
    Glad you are taking this constructively!!!

    I am only saying this because I used to have this same exact mindset..and all it does is create UNnecessary bad or hurt feelings. Expectations
    are predetermined disappointments. I KNOW it's hard to not get frustrated
    when things don't go as we hope.

    I think books like The Rules are kind of poisonous, because it does teach
    women to think black and white.

    You said you like when a guy calls you the next day or within a few days.
    But you have to remember these guys have been conditioned to believe
    it's "desperate' to call a woman so soon. Not only that, but to expect a guy to know you want to hear from him right away is presumptuous. Yes..it's always better if the man pursues the woman, and all that biological crap, but
    men have lives too. I just think it's fair to have an open mind sometimes.

    I just think it's wrong to expect a guy to call me the next day after ONE date.
    Maybe he has to be out of town for two weeks after our first date. ..or maybe he's swamped with work. Now that said..of course after a certain time that window might close. But I think it's fair to give a guy some leeway
    after a first date..and I think two weeks is a very acceptable time period
    after a first date to call.

    JMO

  11. #30
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    so, there's this guy that i've been playing phone tag with for a while. we met on match. finally, we got to talk on the phone, and he suggested we meet for drinks tonight. well, at 2 this afternoon, i got a voicemail from him saying he needed to cancel because his cousin has the flu, and her husband is out of town. so, he was going to spend the night hanging out with his cousin instead. he said he was really really sorry and really really hoped we could reschedule. but i'm very weary. we had such a hard time even meeting on the phone, and all that, and he told me he's been so busy with his friends and family, i'm not even sure this guy has time to date! sheesh. i dunno. it ticks me off. on one hand, he sounds caring, but on the other hand, the flu is not life threatening or whatever. and why would you want to 'hang out' with someone with the flu? i guess i'm a bit pissed because i think he could have taken just one hour to hang out with me for drinks. i'm tempted not to meet this guy.

    I put my family and loved ones before anything or anyone else all the time.
    he said this in his profile. makes me afraid to try to schedule another date with him becuase what if next time, his friend needs a lift or another family member gets a cold? ditched again?
    Last edited by annie24; 02-15-2009 at 09:41 PM.

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